Joppa, MD– A 39-year-old Maryland woman(?), Lisa Carroll, has been arrested on nine counts of unlawful sexual activity with a minor and one count of traveling to meet a minor after her online gaming relationship with a 16-year-old Florida boy allegedly got all “4 realz” and stuff.
The two reportedly “met” while playing the game “War 2 Glory” from the comfort of their respective homes, where they teamed up to bomb various targets. At least one of those targets, judging from the mug shot, must have been Ms. Carroll’s face. The relationship soon morphed to a nausea-inducing level when they began to chat via Skype.
Now, you would think that the visage of Carroll, even taking into account a bad Internet connection, choppy video, and the hormones produced by 16-year-old testicles, would be enough to send anyone into a violent fit of dry retching, but that was apparently not the case. According to police reports, Carroll traveled 800 miles to a Southwest Florida hotel to consummate their near-bestial bond. The two also claim to have agreed to, at some point, get married. And now, dear readers, the vomit is right at the top of my throat.
When the boy’s parents caught wind of their son’s crime against humanity, they stepped in and got the police involved. That’s when the story gets completely obscene, because officers serving their warrant on Carroll on April 5th discovered that she was already married to a man who was previously unaware of her statutory indiscretions. That’s right. Not just one, but at least two human males, have run that beastly gauntlet.
Carroll’s actions would not constitute a crime in Maryland, where the legal age is 16. However, in Florida, it’s a crime for anyone over the age of 23 to have sex with someone 17 years of age or younger. Our heroine is currently awaiting an extradition hearing.Tags: Florida, Lisa Carroll, Maryland, sex with a minor, War 2 Glory