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Whitefish, MT – The handsome Lurch impersonator to the left is Matthew Lamb, 26.  He was wanted on a $50,000 warrant out of Cascade County for a strong-arm robbery and was taken into police custody on April 10th after a bizarre (and hilarious) display.

When police initially spotted Lamb, he was with Sidney Aimsback, 24.  Lamb is no stranger to the local precinct, having racked up arrests for drugs, assault, and robbery dating back to his high school days.  Aimsback also had an outstanding warrant for robbery to his credit.  Upon spotting officers, the two reportedly jumped into a car near Grouse Mountain Lodge and took off.  A chase ensued, but the suspects’ vehicle was cut-off by a cruiser and stopped.

Aimsback complied with orders and exited the car at gunpoint without incident.  However, when the arresting officers ordered Lamb to the ground, he resisted in a truly awesome way that I can only assume was a display of a profound respect for authority.  He reportedly got out of the car, removed all his clothing, mooned the officers, turned around, grabbed his genitals, and waved them in their general direction, all while screaming “go ahead and shoot me.”

They shot him, alright…with a taser gun.  He was then cuffed and successfully taken into custody.  And now I’ve got the song “Shock the Monkey” playing non-stop in my head.

Lamb and Aimsback were wanted for a robbery in which they took belongings from another man’s home and car.  Officers recovered a safe that had been cracked, some rolled coins, and some cash, along with the vehicle.  Both men face felony charges of robbery and misdemeanor charges of obstructing justice and resisting arrest.  Lamb has not been charged with having a horrendous haircut, so I’m expecting a violent outcry from the gay community within the next day or so.

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  • Zazen

    You just Googled today for stories about butt-ass ugly, didn’t you Pete?

  • CT

    Proactive.  Never mind – doubtful it works on meth sores.

  • http://tothechest.com Pete Puma

    I’d probably bang this dude before I’d bang that chick in the last story.

  • CT

     Me too!

  • sam.franke

    Did Frankenstien have a son??

  • sam.franke

    post

  • SayAunt

    I’ll bet his dangling parts were in the cross hairs of the taser gun.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_TQNRXAMACWQ7AQWGY6WMPACXBE David

    “Shock the Monkey”

    Were you talking about his junk or his face?

  • JohnQknowitall

    Well if you are going to be arrested you may as well be memorable.

    Why would the gay community be upset?  If this guy is gay, we don’t want him and by default you guys get him back.

  • http://tothechest.com Pete Puma

    For his crime against aesthetics, of course.

  • newstarshipsmell ™

     So, this guy removed every layer of clothing and made his entire body one giant taser target? Shouldn’t that, like, negate the obstruction of justice charge?

  • OutOfBubbleGum

    To make up for the budget deficient, the state turned the prisoner strip search room into a gambling casino thus creating new state guidelines for cavity searches to occur immediately during the arrest.
     
    Let’s hope he used Charmin fore we know it never leaves small pieces on bear or bare behinds.

  • JohnQknowitall

    What a homophobic comment! We haven’t rioted since Versace’s murder!

  • http://tothechest.com Pete Puma

    I thought it was the Abner Louima case.  What do I get for my new “homophobe” label?  A t-shirt, maybe?  How about a tank top?

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

    I guess Lamb was unaware that – removing all clothing,mooning officers,then turning around and waving your Dick,while screaming “go ahead and shoot me – is a top secret  government code which activates the police “whoop ass” response.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

     Actually,yes he did.Frankenstein was the man who created the monster.
    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0031951/  

  • CT

     A Nannette Lepore dress. 

  • reapre

    I was thinking more along the lines of a flowery moo-moo.

  • CT

     Well, you have just proven yourself to be a heterosexual male. 

  • CT

    I have Shock the Monkey as my ringtone.  That went over well very a few weeks ago when my phone starting ringing while I was at a Catholic grade school open house.  

  • OutOfBubbleGum

    Queer Eyes for the Straight Guy?

  • JohnQknowitall

    A tank top. If your back and/or shoulders are hairy and then you will receive a t-shirt instead.

  • Zazen

    But really, so Matthew was just doing the drug-addled American version of this?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nslRWfyoeGU

    I didn’t think it needed to be remade.

  • http://tothechest.com Pete Puma

    Hmmm…Well, I regret to inform you all that I have a virtually hairless back.

  • sugarpie

    I’d like to see the dash cam video on this one.

  • DangerousKindOfSnark

    Look at you all literary and such. 

  • DangerousKindOfSnark

    I don’t know… when you say bang are we talking giving or receiving? Cause’ I don’t think I’d let that guy touch me with someone else’s cock.

  • DangerousKindOfSnark

    We don’t talk about Versace’s murder. My friend and I were in West Palm for her birthday and we drove past his mansion the night before he was murdered and I commented that I loved the house and want to live there. My friend said “maybe the owner will croak and you can buy it”. We giggled and drove on. When we saw the house on the news the next day, we were like, oh hell we killed Versace. :(

    I all fairness though, it is a kick ass house. 
    http://www.virtualtourist.com/travel/North_America/United_States_of_America/Florida/Miami-763637/Off_the_Beaten_Path-Miami-Versaces_Mansion-BR-1.html 

  • DangerousKindOfSnark

    You regret?

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/BOH7UPYS4INLWXFKB2VQRSWMX4 James P

    what shade of lip stick is that he’s wearing

  • JohnQknowitall

    Virtually? You get a t-shirt unless as smooth as a baby’s bottom.

  • JohnQknowitall

    So… are you living there now?

  • Zazen

    Slapass Crazy Red?

  • Reen B

    So let me get this right: You just walk around nekkid, you get charged with public indecency and might even get on an RSO list. But if you get nekkid in front of the cops, and wag around all your naughty bits and wiggle your ass at them and taunt them while doing so, in the middle of an arrest…you don’t get charged. I will keep this in mind!`

  • Eliza Berntsen

    It’s acid, it should work on anything.

  • DangerousKindOfSnark

    So… I was outside the office building coming in from lunch about an hour ago and some guy with a giant shopping bag goes tearing by me. I shrugged and followed cause I was curious. He jumps into the lake behind the building and starts swimming, badly. At this point I hear sirens and make my way back out front to see cops and an ambulance.
    Turns out the guy struck a pedestrian, jumped out of his car, grabbed his bag ‘o’ scripts, and took off. He was apparently wasted enough that he couldn’t make it across the water, so he got pulled out, and they strapped him down to a body board and he was taken to the hospital where I’m sure the cops will meet him. So, you know, typical Florida day.
    I haven’t seen anything on the local news site yet. I hope the pedestrian is OK.

  • DangerousKindOfSnark

    That’s the tragic part in all of this, I didn’t buy the home.

  • newstarshipsmell ™

     Looks more like Prison Bitch Pink from here.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=736546181 Michael Heldman

    Challenge Accepted.

  • curiousalways

    ohhhh wife beaters.  that makes me hot.

  • curiousalways

    the shocking part to me is that they were able to crack the safe.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_7N6KYE5OZO7WNUYTTYEDVWOINE Marysa Nieves

    Baboon Anus?

  • DangerousKindOfSnark

    Oh so it’s gonna be like that. 😉

  • sam1211

    OH well good to know 😉

  • http://tothechest.com Pete Puma

    I’m not much of a receiver, unless it’s a tongue.

  • sherrdbw

    Why be mean and give back to us. We don’t want the rejects either. Isn’t there a third group somewhere on an island far from any human civilization.

  • sherrdbw

    I thought that spitting in a cop’s face was a top secret code for police “whoop ass”.

  • sherrdbw

    He does look like Lurch mixed with a little Matt Damon.

  • DangerousKindOfSnark

    You are like a gift that just keeps on giving. Take that as you will.

  • sweekymom

     Yes, but the residents of Penguin Island, Antarctica, don’t want him either.

  • JohnQknowitall

    Well at this point he is now yours. Give him to the bisexuals or even better: the asexuals to insure the end of his line.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

     No – somehow that got out and went all public.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

     Be careful with the whole follow thing :

  • JGo555

     I             Am I right????
     I
     I
    V             

  • JGo555

    You’re back!

  • JGo555

    Him & corn are the gift that keeps on giving.

  • JGo555

    A Lady Gaga video vault collection with a pointy bra from Madonna.

  • JGo555

    Don’t lie. You can’t afford it.

    My jealous ass can’t either.

  • JGo555

    Australians don’t want him either.

  • jennie1974

    I just peed my pjs a little… thanks

  • pikeman

    Wow, I moved and am in Whitefish now at my girlfriends and we are laughing our asses off right now.  I saw this on the news, but didn’t really pay attention.  Then I show my girl this site, and here there’s an article that’s local in this very town. Un fucking believable!

    There’s so many crack head losers like this around here. This idiot looks like a cross between Lurch and Frankenstein. Why not moon and wave your junk at the cops if you look like that? What do you really have to lose? He’s probably getting bragging rights in the Flathead county Jail before they ship him to Great Falls.

    There was another idiot around here recently who shot deer in down town Whitefish and put several bullets in the Whitefish Credit Union and the local pet store. Welcome to Montana, the last of the wild west, full of crackheads, inbreads, and hillbillies! Yee-haw!

  • JGo555

    And YOU’RE WELCOMED.

  • http://tothechest.com Pete Puma

    Well, I have a little faint patch at the small of my back…

  • DangerousKindOfSnark

    You have to remember I have a three income household. Which means one income is entirely disposable. We’re not mega-rich, but I could afford a 5k a month mortgage, but what I couldn’t afford would be the property taxes and the insurance. On a place like that right near the coast the insurance is probably 50k a year easily. I have clients on Sanibel Island that pay around that. It would mean cutting back on some travel as well and I’m never going to do that.

  • DangerousKindOfSnark

    Noted. Trust me, I got a stern talking to when I got home. Discipline in stereo, it never gets old.

    By the way I’m pretty sure this is the guy…
    http://www.nbc-2.com/category/174221/lee-county-arrests-mug-shots

    I didn’t get a great look at him because he was handcuffed with a neck collar and strapped down to a backboard. 

  • FrikkenFrak

    Hell, you know what would REALLY suck is if you found out he’s living next door!!!    

  • FrikkenFrak

    I got to the “bag o scripts” part and thought “jeez, this sounds like it’s in Florida”. 

  • JohnQknowitall

    Get off the beach. Your kind are not welcome here. Get your back waxed, a decent tan, and those eye brows fixed… then fill out this appeals form. You have 30 days.

  • JGo555

    Rub it in why don’t cha!

    Rub in the fact that the rate of testosterone in your household is twice as much as the amount I can have IN me, in my household.

    I wish I was you so damned bad!

  • BluExtacy

    Hahaha. Moron.

  • http://truecrimereport.com iLLusionS

    Gotta give him some credit……he let’s it all hang out. And then they lit “it” up….

  • malq

    That what Rosie O’donnels says too, but if that’s the case she shaves it. Most lesbians do.

  • DangerousKindOfSnark

    I could just wax that right off. One of the boys has one of those back soul patches and the little yelp when I wax it makes me so happy.

  • curiousalways

    crackheads, inbreads, and hillbillies

    wait, isn’t that reserved for my neck of the woods?  the south….  

  • LeaveMeBe

    Way to go and ruin my fantasy…

  • Jason David

    These cops should be prosecuted for inappropriate taser use! Fuckin’ American cops get away with EVERYTHING!

    He was obviously unarmed (seeing as he was naked) & therefore not a threat; meanwhile tasering CAN LEAD TO DEATH! 

    One chick cracked her skull on the concrete after being tasered & is in a coma, another Polish dude died from a heart attacjh after being tasered in Canada. 

    The cop should have been charged!!!! That’s bullshit.

  • Jason David

    He he he . Great comment! 

    You’ve totally convinced me you’re not gay, so you can put your sexual insecurity away again.

  • DangerousKindOfSnark

    Sexual insecurity? Don’t know what that is. :)

    Honestly, I’m not gay. I’m a bisexual polyandrous female currently in a serious relationship with two men. 

  • LeaveMeBe

    Yeah!!! So take that Jason David. 😛