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Vancouver, BC – Police called to a Vancouver car wash after reports of screams discovered the source to be three men who had run themselves through the car wash while naked in a shopping cart.

Abbotsford police – called to the car wash at around midnight by concerned neighbors – arrived to find the three reportedly ‘sore’ 20-year-olds putting their clothes back on.

“They decided it would be a really good idea to strip down and run themselves [in] the cart through the car wash. Need I say they were intoxicated?” said Constable Ian MacDonald.

The police report noted that the men made the mistake of selecting either the “typhoon” or “super typhoon” mode. Let’s all take a moment to thank the good Lord that the car wash didn’t have the dreaded “hyper-mega typhoon” setting – which is believed to have been outlawed in most Canadian provinces.

After reportedly making sure the men were not injured and after listening to their apologies for what they recognized as a ‘poor life choice,’ police sent the three men home to sleep it off.

Abbotsford police – apparently seeing the humor in this – posted a tweet after the incident warning their followers that “pressure washing yourself will not increase intelligence or sobriety.”

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