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Lewisville, TX – A 76-year-old man, Michael Stolz, has admitted to shooting and killing his wife, Bernice, 49, and their two dogs over an argument regarding floor-borne fecal matter.  And here’s the kicker:  it didn’t happen in Florida.

Mr. Stolz, who was reportedly scheduled for a mental evaluation already, claims he was frustrated with his dog’s habit of laying down deuces in the house.  Now, anyone with a brain knows that you’re not supposed to complain to a guy who has just come to realization that he’s got a carpet bomb to clean up, especially he’s been unhinging right in front of you for some time.  Bernice did it anyway, however.  I only wish I’d been there to counsel her.

Michael then allegedly did what any mentally unstable person with a loaded gun might do.  He went into the bedroom and got it.  He then proceeded to unload the gun through the barrel and into the offending dog’s skull, killing it.  Not satisfied, he fired at least a couple of bullets into the other, soon-to-be dead, dog.   That’s when Bernice apparently ran, screaming, into the kitchen.

Stolz then turned the gun on her, lethally shooting her in the abdomen.  He admitted to not planning the murders out very well because, if he had, he claims he would have left a bullet for himself.  I guess he just wasn’t thinking straight at the time.

This whole sordid story was revealed on March 27th when police performed a welfare check on Bernice after she hadn’t shown up for work in a few days and co-workers became concerned.  When officers arrived at the house and no one answered knocks on the doors or windows, they entered the house through a sliding back door and began announcing their presence.

Six People Found Shot And Stabbed To Death Inside Chicago Home

They then discovered dead dog #1 and reportedly heard the only living Stolz in the house call out that he would be “out there” in a minute.  Police say he also urged them not to come back to where he was.  They obliged, perhaps because it was at that point that they began to detect the unmistakable odor of decomposing flesh.

When Stolz didn’t come out, the SWAT team was called in.  In the house, they reportedly found our man lying on the bedroom floor, two dead dogs, a deceased wife, and the gun that made it all possible.  Michael Stolz has been charged with murder and remains in the Denton County Jail on $250,000 bond.  There’s a mental evaluation in his immediate future.

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  • rensuchan

    “And here’s the kicker:  it didn’t happen in Florida.”


  • But FLorida would surely be proud to claim this one, and hell they would have gave him the dog-shit crazed defense…..and let him walk. This poor woman should have started running years ago.

  • girlygerd

    Well that sure is a shitty mess

  • SayAunt

    At first glance I thought Gary Busey in the news again..

  • Stop the car. That 76 year old year old had a 49 y/o wife? Alright daddy!!

  • JohnQknowitall

    Yes, but there is another less known phenomena in that region called the Gulf of Mexico Syndrome. It doesn’t occur as frequently in states other than Florida, but none the less it happens all the time.

    God save the migrants to those states and those citizens of states which border them…

  • Bulletproof

      “And here’s the kicker:  it didn’t happen in Florida.”- In defense of my home state, we DO have the best weather, prettiest beaches, and Disney World. If you overlook all of the crackheads, murderers, pedophiles, intellectually challenged criminals, and old people; it’s actually a decent place to live.

  • Ha!

  • rensuchan

    I dunno about best weather…

    Nasty thunderstorms, hurricanes, tornadoes… and humidity even when those things aren’t going on. Though I would not complain about living in Florida during the winter as snow is one of the things I hate about being up here in the mitten.

  • Andy P

     Agreed; it seems like FL has three seasons…  Sunny, rainy and hurricaney. 

  • Bulletproof

    I for one love a good thunderstorm. I love sitting out on my lanai watching the rain and lightning.  That being said this year so far has been beautiful, since January we’ve been maintaining around 70-80 degrees, and I have only seen 1 good storm. I didnt have to wear a jacket all winter.  We haven’t had any hurricanes since 05, SC has been the one getting blasted by those. Now watch, now that I’ve said all that it will be nothing but rain and 12 hurricanes will hit this season.

  • This is such a country song!

  • We didn’t even have a winter this year. Life in the mitten was good this year.

  • I looooovvve thunderstorms.

  • DangerousKindOfSnark

    And Key West, we have Key West! 

  • DangerousKindOfSnark

    “I only wish I’d been there to counsel her.”

    Yes, if only Pete had been there. This story would have been ten times better! 

  • rensuchan

    I actually like rain and storms too to be honest… I’ve been for ages wanting to get a good photo of lightning from an incoming storm but it’s a bit difficult to do it around where I live.

    It’s the humid and hot summer days that would kill me in Florida.  I was actually in New Orleans when I was in my early teens for about a week during the summer time… that was hell.  I also have a Grandmother in Mississippi, that was also pretty crappy during the summer when we used to go there as a child (we wont mention how boring it was as well since she lives in the middle of nowhere).

  • rensuchan

    Yeah but you and I know both know that’s abnormal xD

  • Very true. I just hope the summer isn’t brutal like it was last year. 

  • Athena

    I was thinking Nick Nolte, myself.  Busey works, too, though.

  • OutOfBubbleGum

    It’s better to shoot two bird dogs named Polly & Tweedy in the head than to shoot one in the bush.

  • CT

    If she had a crowbar like me, none of this would have happened.  

  • CT

    Yeah I thought that too but look at him!  She still worked so she didn’t marry for money.  Why? Why?  

  • CT

    I’d need to see the teeth first before I could go with Busey.  

  • DangerousKindOfSnark
  • rensuchan

    Speaking of thunderstorms… how’s your weather?  We just got a big ass boom of thunder over the workplace a few minutes ago.

  • curiousalways

    49 year old woman with HIM?  He must have been well endowed at some point in his life, or rich or something.  I’m not getting it.

  • It was felt here as well. For a second we thought it was a fight breaking out. 

  • So … let me make sure that I have this correct Michael killed Bernice because the dogs were …
    ” laying down deuces” – based on this I guess that I better be careful the next time I shoot someone a “deuce”.

  • “mitten”  ? 

  • rensuchan

    Michigan… ya know, mitten shaped?  🙂

  • Lena60

    My husband got an awsome picture of lightning . It looks like a piece of glowing ribbon. I will try to post it for you.

  •  “A 76-year-old man, Michael Stolz”

    (looks at above pic again) Lord if I am blessed to live to this age – please do not smack me with the ugly face stick you apparently whacked this man with;he looks more like 96.

  • Lena60

    Those damn card playing dogs.

  • I’m going to be in your neck of the woods a few times this summer at the festivals as a food vendor. If you’re registered in the Forums PM me I’m Lovemyfamily and I’ll let you know which ones. 🙂

  • If you ask anyone in MI where their city/town is located geographically they will hold up their hand and point to it.

  • Speaking of lightning – it looks like some connected with
    Michael Stolz in a direct hit to his face – sucking out all of the life juices,
    apparently he suffered no major burning however a strange side effect was that
    his ears tripled in size – this is being referred to as the “Dumbo”

  • I love those  festivals- they have one for everyone.

  • I’ll be moving there in the not-so-distant future…no joke.

  • Then I will edit @Bulletproof212:disqus ‘s comment for her. 

    “If you overlook all of the crackheads, murderers, pedophiles, intellectually challenged criminals, old people and Pete Puma; it’s actually a decent place to live. 

  • Dani

    Don’t forget those bugs the size of stationwagons!
    I’m from ca. Better beaches, better weather, & Disneyland. Without alligators, the aforementioned bugs, & we might have the crazy people, but we also have medical marijuana to chill em out.
    Plus earthquakes!
    And Scientologists!
    All in fun, my friend. All in fun. I also don’t currently live there … I’m stuck in chicago, & there just ain’t nothin to brag about there.

  • Lena60

    He got this one by luck. I think it is one of the coolest lightening pictures. 🙂

  • rensuchan

    Hah!  It looks cool but it was definitely a camera shake effect shot that ended up working xD

    I got a shot of lightning from my room window during a thunderstorm last summer but it was a very crappy shot with the lightning pretty far in the distance. I want to get some pro lightning shot someday ^^

  • JGo555

    And I bet you the asshole didn’t think it through because he ALSO had to clean it up himself too.

    BTW, I can’t believe the lenghts men go to just so they don’t have to clean things up.

  • Scientologists FTW!!

  • DangerousKindOfSnark

    Well, hell, future welcome to Florida. One of us! One of us!

  • JGo555

    My dog absolutely HATES thunderstorms or thunder for that matter. She makes us hate them too.

  • JGo555

    I know why… I can see what you did there, even though you did it with your entonation of the word LOVE…

    And for that reason, I also looooovvve thunderstorms too.

  • I’m surprised this is illegal in Texas.  I mean, the dogs and woman were clearly out of control. 

  • DangerousKindOfSnark

    Actually, there is a Scientology “detox” center here. It’s where they take all the mental cases of their meds. It works out as well as you’d expect. There have been a few very sad deaths attributed to the place.

    Also, Walt built Disneyland, said I can do better, and built Disney world. 

    Plus we have better oranges and alligators rock!

    Again in fun. I’m from NY and that is where the Cali rivalry comes from, not Florida. 😉

  • Sometimes it’s the women who are the nasty ones … just saying …

  • LeaveMeBe

    I’m with this dude! I’d rather clean up blood and gore than scoop poop anyday. 😛

  • Bulletproof

    Ugh the humidity! You can cut it with a knife where I live (SWFL). If not for my beloved Chi, I would be walking around with a permanent white-girl afro every day. My whole life I thought my hair was curly. I go to North Carolina (no humidity, and the best damn apples I have ever ate) for vacation and my hair was straight as a pin. This damn FL humidity literally curls my hair…

  • Bulletproof

    My dog Gia also hates thunderstorms. She is 85 lbs of muscle, and if she hears one peal of thunder, she is reduced to a whimpering, slobbering, shaking mess. Poor girl..

  • Bulletproof

    Damn right! And we have Key West, home of the best damn margeritas you will ever drink, and Fantasyfest! Whoot whoot!

  • Bulletproof

    Bwahaahhahahaha! Ziiing

  • Bulletproof

    Its not so bad, Pete. And think of the boo-ku amounts of material you will get for DD when you have everyday access to the local papers down here. Its very interesting living in Flori-duh…

  • Did we not learn anything from Tupac and Biggie? This east coast, west coast has got to stop people!!

  • Bulletproof

    lmao, you are right about the bugs, though. Shoot, OFF is for pussies, we lasso and ride the mosquitoes down here. Although I am a little jelly about the medical marijuana, Cali does have its share of downfalls too, my friend. Wildfires, earthquakes, ridiculous traffic, crazy ass taxes, and every single one of those silly-ass bitches from Real Housewives of Orange County.

  • DangerousKindOfSnark

    Tell me about it. I live on the west side of the eastern state. I’m just all mixed up in self hate.

  • DangerousKindOfSnark

    Oh shit! I forgot about those skanks. I would rather live in Texas than anywhere near those self centered crazy hos.

  • DangerousKindOfSnark

    Don’t lie, you hope you have enough game to pick up some fine 49-year-old tail when you’re that old.

  • girlygerd

    Hey now I live in Chicago we have…………hmmm………..the giant bean? Ahhhh I got nothing lol

  • Dani

    True, we do have that whole Housewife pest issue. Hence the medical marijuana, I swear.

  • DangerousKindOfSnark

    I live in SWFL too. We’re practically sisters! I gotta say the weather at night has been a beautiful 72 for me. I’ll pay for it in July though.

  • DangerousKindOfSnark

    Hey now buck up. You have the Field Museum, The Blue Man Group, and the Bears… OK you have the Field Museum and that’s pretty damn cool. 

  • rensuchan

    I have a forum account now.  I’ll give you a PM sometime 🙂

  • girlygerd

    You’re right…….blue man group is awesome lol

  • LOVE CHICAGO!!! If it weren’t for me popping out critters I’d still be living there but all of our family is here. 🙁

    Chicago, I’m coming back to ya darlin’!!

  • Lena60

    I was born in Portland Me, but moved to Cali where I was raised.Me. is a beautiful state, but iam glad I was not raised there.

  • newstarshipsmell

    Sorry, but I’ve always felt like that is the dumbest shit ever. (I was born and spent my early years in the burbs of Grand Rapids; I’m hating my own here.)

  • Babydoll0630

    I have to disagree….I clean up more after my husband than my dog and 1 year old combined………LOL.

  • sweatpoo

    Because…Dick and Head are some powerful shit.

  • FrikkenFrak

    Personally, I’d prefer to clean up NONE of the above…..

  • FrikkenFrak

    Ok, Ced….I’m reeeeeally starting to wonder if you dislike women.

  • Gee

     By far easy to say California kicks ass all over Floridah as far as whether goes

  • creamofflicka

    I know his feel. I don’t support his actions. I draw the line at dog shit. 

    However,.. I did end a relationship with one of the hottest women I’ve ever known over her dog shitting in my apartment.  After picking up the turds,.. I’d leave them in her shoe.  I blamed the little dog, but she didn’t buy it.

  • BrizeeGyrl

    I’m a whole lot jelly when it comes to Medical MARIJUANA too. I mean damn they’d rather get you hooked on Oxy’s than to give you an option to use MM … I am “Differently-Abled” ,born with Sickle Cell… a condition that causes excruciating chronic pain and would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to not have to break the law in order to attain pain relief. Oh damn…I’ve said too much!!!

  • 2 words.. retirement pension