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DENVER, CO – An idiot in Denver is facing charges after she went on a radio show and bragged about how she lied to get out of jury duty. Unfortunately for the dolt, the judge who had excused her was listening to the show and recognized her.

The day before 57-year-old Susan Cole was to report for jury duty, she feared her roommate had died in a crash. She would learn later that her roommate was safe, but “she was still so emotionally overcome and had too many other activities coming up (so) she did not want to be involved in jury service.”

So she showed up to court on June 28, wearing different colored curlers in her hair, excessive makeup, a shirt that read “Ask Me About My Best Seller,” and — in a page right out of Jaded’s play book — reindeer socks. She would get called for a trial regardless, but would tell Judge Anne Mansfield she could not perform her public service duties because of a physical or mental disability.

“I’m juror 4361 and I broke out of domestic violence in the military,” Cole said. “And I have a lot of repercussions. One is post-traumatic stress disorder. Another thing is I get very confused in the morning when I try to get ready.”

Mansfield sympathized and excused Cole from service and didn’t think much about it until October 11, while listening to KOA radio’s Dave Logan Show. That’s when a caller by the name of “Char from Denver” called in bragging about how she got out of jury duty.

The caller explained how she deliberately dressed in a disheveled and uncoordinated fashion with the intent of appearing mentally unstable. The woman caller said she was drawing stares from fellow jurors, and the judge ended up excusing her. She went on to say that she was a hairdresser and that she and her clients got a good laugh out of how she fooled the judge.

Obviously, Mansfield didn’t find any of it amusing at all. It wasn’t long before an arrest warrant was issued for Cole on charges of felony perjury and attempting to influence a public servant.

Cole told reporters that she isn’t an educated woman and didn’t understand exactly what she did. When asked to elaborate, Cole said, “I don’t want to speak no more. You guys are interrogating me.”

I find it hilarious that this uneducated woman is also the author of Seven Initiations with El-Way’s Secrets: Seven Initiations, a book that supposedly helps readers “deal with difficult relationships and situations” through biblical passages.

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  • Chinchillazilla

    Yeah, she “pretended” to be completely psycho.

  • blubberdong

    This is America, give her a reality show.

  • malq

    This MILF has an amazing coif.  I wonder if the carpet matches the drapes.

    LOL  I would have done the same thing if I was that judge. in fact he probably had every attorney, court reporter, balliff and other judges calling to tell him about it.

  • http://justiceforcaylee.synthasite.com/ shyloh

    Wearing different colored curlers in one’s hair is definitely a sign of MENTAL ILLNESS!

  • DangerousKindOfSnark

    I would watch that. I am now disgusted with myself.

  • DangerousKindOfSnark

    I think Jesus did the multi-colored curler thing to get out of healing some lepers. 

  • LeaveMeBe

    I bet SHE did. ;)

  • LeaveMeBe

    I had a friend/co-worker who called into one of our local radio shows and told a story about me spitting into our supervisor’s breakfast taco. Thankfully she changed our names and our supervisor wasn’t a country music fan.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

    This lady is not “an idiot” … she does however appear to be a Stupid Bitch.

  • SayAunt

    Illinois just sent Blagojevich out to CO to spend 14yrs maybe the two of them can work on her next book, ‘Seven Initiations for Dumb Asses’.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

    GROSS !!!

  • LeaveMeBe

    The really funny part of the story was when she hollered from her office, “Thanks _____, that was one of the best breakfast tacos I ever had!” Both of us were dying with laughter and my friend literally ducked under her desk to smother the noises she was making.

  • OutOfBubbleGum

    Can’t you get out of jury duty by singing the first verse of “Alice’s Restuarant?”

  • http://truecrimereport.com iLLusionS

    Oh the irony that her book was bible passages…
    Not a very wise thing to do. Fool a judge and then go broadcast it on radio…..
    Nice. Reminds me of Jimmy Fallons Text disasters  when a dude thought he was texting a bunch of friends…..”Screw work 2moro, Chic-Fil-A is giving out free food to anyone wearing a cow costume”…to which his boss replied…”Good pick up an application while you’re there…”

  • 18th40

     Heh, ouch, good catch.

  • CT

    New rule – any book with rainbows on the cover if not geared towards the 5 and under crowd  – you would be better served to spend your money on beef jerky and porn.  That is the making for a party in my house.  Just wanted to pass that on. 

  • Sam

    I see. The geriatric version of posting your lawless ways on Facebook, for those none too keen to become silver surfers.

  • Lena60

    Some people are a little to proud of their under handedness.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

    Why would a Gay pride book be “geared”  towards children ? 

    (Looks for Sarcasm Button.)

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

    “Alice’s Restuarant”

    HUH ?

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

    I will assume you disliked the Boss.

  • CT

    Oh look at you, smarty pants.  I was thinking more along the lines of Dora’s Rainbow Surprise. 

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

    Denver District Court Judge Anne Mansfield  … guess malq missed that somehow.

  • Andy P

    OMG this is my FAVORITE radio call in thing…  You HAVE to listen to this… 
    Husband To Wife On National Radio Show: I Cheat On You Because “American Women Use The Mouth… You Don’t Know How To Use The Mouth”

    http://tinyurl.com/2ltq8m

  • LeaveMeBe

    It’s OK, he’s a good egg most of the time. :)

  • LeaveMeBe

    No, I loathed her, and I don’t use that term lightly. I am a devious and vengeful Rhino when I get pushed over the edge, although only a handful of people have ever been subjected to my wrath.

  • LeaveMeBe

    Now I have a visual stuck in my head of Cedric doing the “smarty pants dance”. Thanks for that CT. :P

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_O3GASQPR24R35PUNHTSJYABKYQ msfl

    you can get anything at Alice’s restaurant .. walk right in…it’s around the back, half a mile from the railroad track…(love this song)

    heh.if you gonna go on the radio and brag about lying to a judge – don’t be specific enough for them to know who you are! duh! Not that I advocate lying to a judge.
     

  • Abroad

    I thought it just meant they were different sizes?

  • newstarshipsmell

    What a stupid bitch. If you don’t want to serve your jury duty, all you gotta do is start talking about Jury Nullification and your intention to share your knowledge on the subject with the rest of the jury. Go the extra mile and bring a bunch of pamphlets with you to make it look authentic. You’ll be excused…

  • JGo555

    I’dwatch her before I’d ever watch Jersey Shore or the Kardashians…

  • JGo555

    Wait!? What is the “lying” she’s talking about? Is this a new product where you ommit the truth & say something else that is not a fact?

    OH MY GOD! Did this woman invent LYING!?

    She is a genius! I bet God didn’t think we could do this! Wait, He knows I’m not too tired to go to church on Sundays… fuck, I’m gonna be in hell with this lady.

  • JGo555

    I bet she gets her hair done in JCPenney on saturdays…

  • EliStar

    What is it with people trying to get out of jury duty? You are given the ability to completely screwup someone’s life LEGALLY. Why would you want to give that up?

  • newstarshipsmell

    And the ability to prevent someone’s life being completely screwed up legally.

    The only time I served, some Mexican immigrant woman (who didn’t speak English, making the whole trial longer with the required translations) sued a senior black man for allegedly turning left on a red light and colliding with her, asking for damages and medical costs. Almost all of us were ready to return a Not Guilty verdict (as the plaintiff’s sole witness, testifying on her behalf, blatantly conflicted her testimony on the time of day, weather conditions, and configuration of the traffic signals at the time of the accident.) The two hold-outs, an Eastern European immigrant and a Hispanic man, remained skeptical, and wanted to side with the woman. The bailiff had to go consult with the judge to verify, at my request, that I was allowed to discuss my prior knowledge of the particular intersection’s atypical traffic light configuration in deliberation (since it wasn’t part of the evidence/testimony presented.) I got to draw the intersection on the chalkboard and prove to the rest of them how highly unlikely it was that the defendant caused the accident, and finally convinced the last two jurors to agree with me. Judging by the clunker the defendant was driving, I doubt he could have afforded a judgement against him. After speaking with me about how we reached our verdict, the defense attorney apologized for making us sit through all the useless medical testimony (which added an extra day to the trial), once he understood that the witness’s testimony pretty much sank the lawsuit.

    Of course, I could’ve just acted crazy (or advocated White Power, or mentioned FIJA), and not gotten myself a few days off work at the porn store. Whatever.

  • onlyme356

    I was excused from jury duty because I stated that I thought the plaintiff was lazy. I had seen him before and he looked like a total slob of a mess. Then he didn’t show up. I said he was lazy and should be there like everyone else since we all got up early enough for his trial. His lawyer no longer wanted me in the jury. I actually meant what I said, but also said it because I didn’t want to serve jury duty. When his lawyer asked if I’d feel the same way if he said the plaintiff was sick, I responded YES.

  • Zazen

    Aw, whyever would you want to take a few days off from the porn store? I never missed a day; had it paid better and had something in the way of actual security, I’d still be working there.

    There was a new stupid human trick EVERY DAY. I have never spent so much time so highly amused at my job since.

    Well, there was the employee discount too…. >D

  • newstarshipsmell

    Well, there was the fact that I usually got the upstairs counter shift (where the actual porn section was located) and well, the check-out counter faced the gay section, which took up roughly half the floor. I didn’t miss staring at walls and walls of naked dudes fucking each other for seven-hour stretches for a few days.

  • AssWho?

    Yep, that sounds about the level of character that I would expect out of the general populous of Denver. Wouldn’t be surprised if I yell at her daily in traffic. Only thing dirtier than Denver Police are the people they are caught on camera beating the shit out of..

  • Babydoll0630

    I’m new to Denver and scared to drive my shiny new car b/c I don’t know where the hell I’m going…..now I have another reason to keep my pretty car in the garage until I know where the fuck everything is at.

  • AssWho?

    Hope you fair better then I, I have had a Saturn totaled 3 times, Two of them it was parked @ my house or on my street

  • AssWho?

    Overall my advice is take the car, my suck to see it beat up, but your body parts are not so easy to pull dents from,and if you are unaware,  we are lovers of the hit and run round here!

  • reapre

     She doesn’t sound very happy…

  • http://twitter.com/AngelsMom0806 Angels Mom

    He thought it said Man Annesfield.

  • http://twitter.com/AngelsMom0806 Angels Mom

    Raj: 25% of the time your on the periodical anyway
    Wife: 100% of the time you’re on the stupid

    LMAO! That had to be fake.

  • malq

    Derp, you got me on that one.
    It’s an honest mistake, seeing how men are pretty much in charge for all the responsible positions in the world.. Every once in a while, we have to insert a female to keep the noise level down. We get caught off guard when that happens.

  • malq

     D’awwwww

  • malq

     !  yes, that’s it.

  • Andy P

    I dunno. She sounded genuinely pissed and he did sound genuinely stupid. Just saying. Lol

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Erin-Lindsay-Wilkins-Mulder/1208200949 Erin Lindsay Wilkins-Mulder

    Of course, the woman calls herself “Char Cole”… It’s pretty obvious she finds herself comical.