Man Accused Of Beating Wife With Six-Pack Of Beer

It’s good they didn’t have some sun tea brewin’ or she’d be a dead woman.

Everyone give Rebekah the standard D’D welcome with a loud “fuck you” as she starts writing for the site. We are giving her 5 articles before she quits. Welcome aboard, Rebekah.

If we are lucky, some of your “fans” will make an appearance and point out how you stole this article.

 I’m putting my money on a malt liquor like Old English or Natural Ice. Possibly a pale lager like Milwaukee’s Best.
So, you are saying that this is not just an instance of domestic violence… this is an instance of domestic beer violence.

Oh, how i’m hoping he took the offending beers with him. The thought of him sitting down, opening one of those well-shaken brewskies and taking his eye out with the powerjet is just priceless.

I never took my husband’s last name either. I figured i was going to have to spell it anyway, whether i took his or stayed with my own, so i might as well not bother with the whole palava of changing every single piece of official documentation i’ve ever had. I told him i didn’t mind if he wanted to change his to mine, but he didn’t seem that keen. Funny that, how when they expect the woman’s name to change it’s “not a big deal”, but when you ask them why don’t they change theirs it’s too much like hard work.

I had no idea that there were “degrees” of strangulation. Figured strangling someone was like bein a lil preganant. Anyways, I believe the beer of choice was…..Schlitz Malt Liquor.

My Bet: Captain Morgan’s Gold.

When they tried to pass off a 6 pack of some kind of alcoholic beverage that looked like beer.

House party back towards the high-school days, It was the only 6 pack left in the fridge at the end of the night with 5 left in it when we “ran out of alcohol”. There was 1 open one on the counter that had been passed around. It wasn’t even empty. Worst ”beer” I’ve ever had. 

We’ll forgive you since you’re new, but don’t let it happen again! 

Welcome to the site, now prove Morbid wrong and write 6 articles before quitting. 

Phuck you Rebekah!

Never heard of it.  I’ll have to check it out. 

Had local beer from different places in the world, sadly, the one place I’ve always wanted to just sit back, relax and have a local beer, I couldn’t have.  While there, we were on a “dry layover”.  Ahh, Germany, we’ll meet again, my friend.

Double Fuck You Rebekah!!! Great article!  ;)

“pick up a six-pack of beer and began beating her with that as well”

This is really adding insult to injury if the Beer was off brand Bull Shit.

“Hello Rebekah,welcome to Morbid’s twisted fun house.

You are wrong I used to drink  Schlitz Malt Liquor when I was 18 and it never made me get all strangley on anyone – now Old English might do the trick,if it gets a little warm;the only Beer I have ever seen that smells like old potatoes when it gets hot.

I vote yes.

“You guys are going to get fucked so hard, you wont know what hit you.”

Don’t threaten me with a good time, and not deliver.

It’s lucky my anal orifice is so roomy.  I can fit all your noses in there at once.  By the way, I had a burger last night.  Welcome aboard, Rebekah…I’ll have to look up the spelling of your name any time I use it.

So … wonder if the coffee pot was empty ? If my ass was getting beat with a coffee pot I would really hope that it was empty … and I would prefer plastic to metal …

HA !!!!

Welcome Rebekah!, Good job on the article!

Was that an exhausted, post-orgasmic “yes” or just a regular “yes” followed by two exclamation points?

You crack me up.

I see they left the swamp feces out of the ingredient list, probably a good move.

::waves at TR::

of course he going to take them with him the price of beer he had to get two good uses out of it. he gets to drink it and beat his little tramp with it.

Post-orgasmic. =D

I told my hub that for economical purposes, I’d use his last name but for professional purposes I’d use mine. It’s MY fucking brain that’s using all the power & his last name IS NOT taking away my success to add to his family!!

I’d totally drink beer that has a commercial with a moutain or a herd of Clysdales or some girls in bikini.

Wait, no I totally wouldn’t. I would only drink the beer with glitter, ponies and hot ripped chested guys. Funny how all the men in the beer comercials are wearing simple joe clothes or are old “wise” and look cool… I guess men drink beer only.

I gladly got rid of my last name and if I ever get divorced I’m not changing it back.

Millers is by far the most revolting “beer” I have ever had. Two beers have stuck in my memory as exceptionally amazing, the first was my first Sol on my 18th birthday after a belly full of Cuervo Gold and chimichangas, it was nectar from the Gods, I swear! The second was a Hansa Marzen Gold, on tap, in a casino, after a double shift at a swanky restaurant.
Black Label is also pretty good though, Husband tends to buy it often on the weekends and I can never say no. (willpower of a strung out crack whore, me.)

(It’s one of my baby girl’s middle names! Love love love!)

I’m gonna go with steel reserve

Even if it were true, people would still drink it.

Just to RUIN, ONLY YOUR DAY, Castoreum is labled to be in many things and people still eat/drink these items (which is located right around beaver balls for marking their territory). 

From Wiki:
”
In the United States, Castoreum has been approved by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) as a food additive,[12] often referenced simply as a “natural flavoring” in the product’s list of ingredients. It is commonly used in both food and beverages, especially as vanilla and raspberry flavoring.[13]
Castoreum has been traditionally used in Scandinavia for flavoring snaps commonly referred to as “Bäverhojt”.[14]“

“I guess men drink beer only.”

From experience, women don’t drink beer as much as men.  (Some do, but more commonly they shy away from it) Women are more into the sweet drinks/bitch beer/alcohol laced drinks. 

Belgian beer makes me wish I still drank beer. I have always been partial to the Hefeweizen style. Fat Tire and Shiners are gooooooooooodddddddddd….from what I remember.

my husband is straight from belgium mail order groom jk bout the mail order

Welcome Rebekah!  That “fans” thing sounds like it could produce some hilarity and fun.

I love my mr coffee ice tea brewer mmmm

I had never heard of this before – thank you for making me feel ill.

Castoreum (pronunciation: /kæ?st?ri?m/) is the exudate from the castor sacs of the mature North American Beaver Castor canadensis and the European Beaver Castor fiber. Within the zoological realm, castoreum is the yellowish secretion of the castor sac in combination with the beaver’s urine, used during scent marking of territory.Both male and female beavers possess a pair of castor sacs and a pair of anal glands located in two cavities under the skin between the pelvis and the base of the tail.The castor sacs are not true glands (endocrine or exocrine) on a cellular level, hence references to these structures as preputial glands or castor glands are misnomers.Today, it is used in trapping, as a tincture in some perfumes,as a food additive, or touted as an aphrodisiac.

I like yours.

Me too. I come from a small town where everyone knows my family’s name (not that it’s a bad thing, in fact it can be good, but sets me up for preconceived notions and unrealistic expectations sometimes). I am the only female grandchild/niece/daughter of the bunch and a few of my male cousins are pretty stupid so I was either linked to them or to my elder relatives, who were business owners, board members, etc.. constantly. I got so tired of hearing “Oh, you’re so-and-so’s _________, right?” No, I am ME. So now I only bring up my maiden name when it suits me and I can use it to get my way, a better deal, or to open a door that otherwise wouldn’t, but usually I am just Ms. LMB. I’m a total shit, I know.

Wishing we had a groan button on the FP after reading your comments has become a habitual thing for me.

Shiner Bock, warm. The best beer ever.

If it has beaver in it how bad can it be?

YOu just don’t beat your wife with beer.. ALCOHOL ABUSE….WTF…..