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Tampa, FL — A future Darwin Award candidate has been hospitalized in critical condition after police say he inadvertently set himself on fire while attempting to set fire to his estranged wife.

Matthew Wong, apparently distraught with the state of his 25-year marriage, filled a couple of empty bleach bottles with gasoline and headed over to his wife’s residence, where he sat and waited for her to leave for work Monday morning.

When the woman exited her apartment, police say Wong began chasing her around the complex, threatening to kill her while splashing her with gas… dousing himself in the process. An alert neighbor heard the commotion and grabbed 46-year-old Gloria Davis, pulling her into a nearby apartment.

“I had to bring her up because she kind of fell,” said Capitola Scott. “She was so hysterical, so I grabbed her to bring her on up here.”

Wong then allegedly doused the entryway and bushes surrounding the apartment where the woman was hiding, screamed, “I’m gonna to kill you!” and flicked his Bic.

“All the sudden I heard something say ‘woosh’ and flames just went up,” Scott recalled.

That “woosh” sound she heard was Wong going up in flames. Silly bastard.

Neighbors quickly extinguished the flames, and an unconscious Wong was transported to the hospital. Davis, fortunately, was uninjured.

A search of Wong’s vehicle revealed a gas can, gloves and a roll of tape. Deputies say a blanket was taped to the rear window, and black garbage bags covered both of the rear side windows.

Plot to ignite wife fails, investigators say: MyFoxTAMPABAY.com

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  • I’d like to see a picture of him prior to being all burnt up.

  • Texas Ranger

    Shweet. I love when a dumass plan goes awry. I am glad he is as stupid as he looks. Hope the burns are painful stupid-ass.

  • LOL!

  • Anonymous

    Florida gets all the good ones.

  • Two Wongs don’t make it right.  Heh.

  • blubberdong

    This is Wong on so many levels.

  • **golf clapping**

  • Anonymous

    I wish this would happen more often to other types of criminals. Like a child molester wants to rape a kid but accidentally shoves a giant dildo up his ass while the kid escapes unharmed. 

  • I kinda want to make him a CD to listen to in the burn unit while he’s recuperating. I may not know him at all, but I’ll see if I can’t find songs he can relate to.

    Lemme see… ‘Burning Love’, ‘Burning for You’, ‘Burning Down the House’… Hmm.
    Any ideas anyone?

  • blubberdong

    Disco Inferno?

  • Reen B

     “Hunka Hunka Burnin’ Wong?”

  • (sang in the tune of the old tums antacid song)  dumb de dumb dumb asssssss!!!

  • This is a Mastercard moment.

    Gallon of gasoline, $4. 
    Bic lighter, $2. 
    Landscaped bushes, $2000. 
    Watching a mentally retarded asshole light himself on fire? Priceless.

    Hope his wife gets to use the miles.

  • Anonymous

    Burn baby burn Disco inferno…

  • Anonymous

    Oops sorry Bd I posted before I read that.

  • Anonymous

    Well now, That takes care of that hot mess.

  • “Man Ignites Self While Trying To Set Estranged Wife On Fire”
    My first thought was – Good job.

  • Explain that please.

  • Anonymous

    Karma by gasoline and BIC lighter.

  • By clapping slowly I am showing my approval of an asshole doing an assholish thing and it backfiring badly. 

  • I was about to post the same song.

  • Mat-thew, Mat-thew, Mat-thew is on fire…
    He don’t need not water
    let the muthfucka burn

  • I like the ending of this story 🙂

  • Andy P

    All that comes to mind is Nelson on The Simpsons…   HA! HA!  Oh, that and what a moron.  Glad the ex-wife is ok.


  • He was black both before and after,.. i think.  Oh wait,.. He was Blasian before. My bad. Either,.. This is some funny shit.

  • blubberdong

    No problem. You’ve never Wonged me before.

  • Wildheart

    A giant exploding dildo. 🙂

  • Anonymous

    Oh if all wife beaters/child molesters/rapists/killers & criminals were this “BRIGHT”.

    I’m glad the lady got the shit scared out of her & her victimizer got what he was gonna give.

    ALWAYS tell them, be prepared to receive what YOU DISH OUT.

  • Anonymous

    “We Be Burnin'” by Sean Paul

    “Fuego” (fire) by RBD

    ” Temperature” by Sean Pual

    “Fire Burnin’ ” by Sean Kingston

  • Dammit Pete!!!! rotfl……

  • “It’s Getting Hot in here”….Nelly

  • Anonymous

    Are you saying he’s the wong color?

  • Anonymous

    Yes, yes we do. It’s the most exciting place in the world.

  • Well, if he weren’t ‘Blasian’ before…he was defintely, ‘Blazin’ afterwards.

  • Anonymous

    Where’s the Johnny Cash man? The CD must have Ring of Fire on it. 

    Light My Fire, The Doors

    House of Fire, Alice Cooper

    Fire, The Chili Peppers

    Die In Fire, Bathory

    Put Out the Fire, Queen

    Slave Driver, Bob Marley

    Kisses of Fire, Abba

    A View to Kill, Duran Duran (

  • Anonymous

    No fucking way!!!! To dam funny!!!

  • Anonymous


  • **swoon** I love Johnny Cash.

  • CT

    I feel it would be a disservice to all involved to make any more jokes after Pete Puma’s.   (Though DKS your comeback was priceless). 

  • Anonymous

    Yeah we do, we’r just half country and half Spanish refugees!! All Locos..

  • Anonymous

    It is absolutely the only “country” I will listen to. Cash is such a bad ass his music transcends genres.

  • Anonymous

    Thank you.

  • Anonymous

    In my opinion he is a martyr in preserving the sanctity of marriage. Divorce and separation need to be outlawed. God bless.

  • BURN!!

  • Anonymous

    Here some more to add to ur list:

    We didn’t start the fire- Billy Joel
    The Heat is on..
    Love that Burns- Fleetwood Mac
    Fire coming out of the monkey’s head- Gorillaz
    Unforgettable Fire- U2
    The Burn- Matchbox 20
    Burn-The Cure

    And even thought this has other content but for me the best lyrics by Rock Master Scott & The Dynamic 3 – “We don’t need no water let the motherfucka’ burn.. Burn Mutherfucka, Burn!!!

  • Anonymous

    I am so glad my divorce is going more civilly than this

  • Anonymous

    Hugh!! In the unspoken words of the Virgin Mary “come again”?

  • Anonymous


  • Anonymous

    Hahaha lol sorry..should i be so happy he got what he deserved i wish josh powell blew himself up before the social worker got there

  • Josh

    A man got on a bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls
    and sat down next to a beautiful blonde. The blonde had
    a puzzled look on her face and kept looking at him and his bulging

    Finally, after she continued staring at his pockets he said to her, ‘It’s golf balls’.

    Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him for a very long time, pondering what he had said.

    After several minutes, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, she asked: ‘Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?’

  • Josh

    Best master card commercial http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAR30IYas-0

  • Josh

    A man and his wife decided to buy a condo for 95,000dollars and were
    enjoying it until he found his neighbor only paid 40,000 dollars for his

    Furious, he telephoned his real estate agent and demanded to know the reason for the difference in prices asked for the condos.

    His real estate agent told him, his was more expensive because of the
    magic mirror in his bedroom. The man called him a liar and the agent
    told him his wife could explain it all to him.

    He asked his wife about this mirror and she promptly told him yes and to give her a chance to prove it to him!

    She said,”Look at my chest, see how big it is ?” “Wait here and I will show you about what a magic mirror can do!”

    She left and came back in the room in about 3 minutes and said,”Okay now
    look at my chest!” He did and saw she had gone from 34b to 34d in 3
    minutes , and thought what do I have to lose? He said , “Mirror, Mirror,
    more, and more , make my penis drag the floor!”

    And of course His Legs Fell Off!

  • Ah, @twitter-69728855:disqus already had that one, although slightly changed for Mr Wong’s listening pleasure. That is a damned good song tho.

  • Josh

    How many years did you serve?

  • Anonymous

    12 years but it’s all good.This cougar got her a younger man to make it all better.

  • Anonymous

    So do I. He was the man.

  • Josh

    I got a cougar too, but mine stays in the garage. =)

  • Anonymous

    I think I would have said it this way:

    The Wong, the Wong, the Wong is on fire.

    But well played anyway <3

  • Andy P

    And remember – two wongs don’t make a right, apparently.  LMAO.

  • Andy P

    Damn Trisha you beat me to it.  That is so wong of you!  LOL

  • Smileypants

    “All the sudden I heard something say ‘woosh’ and flames just went up,” Scott recalled.”

    bwahahaha!!! I bet he said more than woosh….like OWW MOMMY PLEASE IT HUUUUURTS MAKE IT STOP
    Talk about instant karma!! Good for her, now he won’t be pulling anymore bullshit. In the words of Bugs Bunny, “What a Maroooon!!”  LOL

  • Anonymous

    Today’s instant karma has been brought to you by Zippo and Shell.

  • Josh

    My karma will run over your dogma. =)

  • FrikkenFrak

    THE SWEET SMELL OF JUSTICE!!  Oh wait, that’s smoldering hair…….
    Ah, same thing!

  • FrikkenFrak


  • FrikkenFrak

    I tried to explain to a friend recently about Florida and why I have an adverse reaction to it.  I tried to explain the crime blogs I read. 

    Finally I told her to go home and Google the words  “Florida sex offender pedophile”.  I warned her to make sure she had a weekend set aside to view results.

  • malq

    Dude looks well done to mee

  • wishfulsinful

    Seriously, FUCK this guy. Karma very rarely gets you this quickly, and if anyone deserves to be the exception to the rule, it’s sick turds like this one who solve their wadded panty problems with immolation. UGH. And high five to awesome neighbors like Capitola mothafuckin Scott. 

  • Yeah, now that I’m from work and could watch that…it was pretty good.

  • Nice choice. Because I’m sure while he was turning into a human candle, he was prolly bustin’ a move.

  • Anonymous

    Talk about Karma!!!!
    What a jerk off!

  • You got to love it when this kind of plan goes gone wrong! This is one of the times it is slightly fitting to laugh at anothers misfortune. Wong= Ass. He burnt the Wong ass!!! LMAO!

  • Thank you – now please allow me to explain – I don’t know what “golf clapping” is;I have never heard of that before – did you make the term up yourself ?

  • WHAT ???

  • Oh…

    No, it’s a real thing. It’s what people do when they cheer at golf tournaments so that the golfers concentration isn’t broken. Now people have changed it (when not golfing) to a slow, loud clap that gradually gets faster when more people jump up and cheer.

  • Anonymous


  • Anonymous

    Has the divorce been finalized? Might want to watch for falling pianos.  😉

  • Anonymous

    I have no respect for your abuse of old women.

  • Josh

    Thats funny! Who said my car is an old woman???

  • Anonymous

    Well maybe she isn’t old, but still to refer to a woman as a car you can ride in is just offensive!

  • Anonymous

    It’s called karma, baby, karma. I hope it burned his penis off!

  • Anonymous

    Oh, I thought that everyone was either old or rich or both.