Good day, sickos. I want to thank all of you for your calls and emails inquiring about my well-being and offering sex at various public parks. But fear not, I am just on a much-deserved, much-needed vacation. Although I am off this week, I will be writing up some stuff off and on while finally being able to focus on some DD house cleaning. I'll also have time to respond to some of you interested in writing. In the meantime, be sure to check out the forums for the latest in terrible news.


Genoveva Nunez-Figueroa Charged After Getting Stuck In Chimney Of Man She Met OnlineTeen With Pre-existing Health Issues Dies Inside Haunted House AttractionBrittany Ruck Accused Of Separating Young Daughter's Scalp From Her SkullBoy, 9, Has Arm Ripped Off After Trying To Feed Bear At ZooJonnie Boggess Accused Of Having 'Gentle Sexual Intercourse' With PigletMan Arrested For Making Sweet, Sweet Love To Toy Horse At WalmartMan Goes To Hospital After Chewing On Rat's Head Found In Golden Corral ChiliKonrad Peters Accused Of Throwing Dildos At Young GirlsMom Gave Kid Away To Heroin User To Live Life Of Normal Teenager

JOHNSTON, R.I.  – A man has been arrested and charged with murdering his wife, dismembering her body and then trying to get rid of the evidence in a fireplace.

I’m not going into details, but I have often wondered if it would be possible to get rid of a body using my fireplace. I still think it is possible, but after reading what happened to 52-year-old Donald K. Greenslit, I may need invest in a working fire extinguisher before ever attempting it.

Firefighters were called to Greenslit’s home because of a fire originating from the basement. They were able to safely contain the fire although two children, ages 3 and 5, were taken to the hospital to be treated for smoke inhalation. Investigators would also find the source of the fire were body parts that had been placed in the fireplace.

“It appeared that the remains could be that of a human body. It was actually wrapped in cloth and it was burned severely and was actually cut up into pieces,” said officials.

Greenslit eventually confessed to stabbing his wife to death and then attempting to hide his crime by chopping up her body and placing the parts in the fireplace. He may have gotten away with it for a short amount of time, but his victim was able to get a bit of revenge from beyond the grave by setting the house on fire.

Neighbors say the couple fought often and were no strangers to police, Greenslit having been arrested several times for beating on his wife in the past. In fact, he was on probation at the time of her murder and a no-contact order was in place.

Aside from saying the victim was around 39-years-old, they have not named her or said if the two kids were hers. It would make the story even creepier if they were… knowing they went to the hospital because they had breathed in their mother.

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  • Deseree Willacker

    ” It would make the story even creepier if they were… knowing they went to the hospital because they had breathed in their mother.” I was thinking the same thing before I got to that part.

  • SK

    some ladies need to learn to BREAK THE CYCLE… when he says “ill change” and you go back to him, all he then thinks is “She will keep coming back no matter what”  … Dont be that chick!

  • Tara Kouba

    It would make the story even creepier if they were… knowing they went to the hospital because they had breathed in their mother.

    Lmao Morbid. That’s all I have to say lol

  • daMonBrooks

    You could get away with it Morbid, just don’t be a jackass and overstuff your hearth.

  • Anonymous

    This is a complete compliment to you Morbid…at times, my ADHD gets the best of me & I fail to read a story completely. Like now, when I wanted to get to the nitty-gritty because I needed a coffee refill. So I read the last sentence & Morbid….you reeled me in to read the whole damn thing. I heart you.

  • Anonymous

    At least he wasn’t serving “smoked brisket” for dinner……. 

  • Anonymous


  • Gee

     That really struck me too!  eeewwww

  • Anonymous

    how does one just make ones self be ok with chopping up your wife?  I personally can’t conceive of stabbing someone (I usually takes bugs out so I won’t have to smash them) but I really think the chopping them up thing would be a line I couldn’t cross-kind of like LSU trying to cross Bama’s 50 yead line in the BCS championship game.  :)

  • Anonymous

    You can buy that fire extinguisher Morbid as you remember that a body has fat in it……..and what does fat do?

  • Anonymous

    I heard she was hot.

  • Anonymous

    Burn baby burn.

  • Anonymous

    To quote somebody’s signature: “Where are we going, – and why are we in this handcart?”

  • Cedric

    What a fucked up mother fucker … still to be fair – maybe the wife was a Royal Bitch … either way this guy is a piece of work … and to top it off he was not even good at the getting away with it part.

  • Cedric

    Yep Kim – the name should have been a warning to her.

  • LeaveMeBe

    *note to self* – Before killing someone, chopping them up and disposing of them in the fireplace, starve them first so there is no body fat.

    Got it. Thanks.

  • Anonymous

    So you’re saying just take a seat near the fireplace and casually toss parts in as they burn up?  :::get’s notebook:::

  • Eliza Berntsen

    Morbid, if you ever are to burn a chopped up body in your fireplace make sure that you scorch the skin first and get a really big, solid fireguard to keep the fat and flames from splattering all over the place- you do not want it to get onto your carpet- it will be near to impossible to get the stains and the stench out, and then you should be just fine! Just don’t chop it too big-of-a chunks- burns quicker that way.

  • Eliza Berntsen

    At least a part of her will always be within them.

  • Anonymous

    After watching to many real murder shows, I think its best to freeze them first and then cut into pieces, a lot less blood and then you dispose smaller portions at will.

  • Josh

    Makes steak taste really good. I want prime rib.

  • daMonBrooks

    Now we’re talking

  • Eliza Berntsen

    But then there’s no crackle!

  • Anonymous

    Dude, seriously… before burning a body, ensure you have plenty of Kwikshot to get rid of the build up of soot and byproducts in your chimney that can lead to fires.  :D

    Insert standard ‘sick fuck burn him blah blah blah’ rant here.

  • Anonymous

    You can save a leg or arm for a Yule Log for the Holidays.

  • Jennifer Duerr

    bleck.. poor babies.. yeay Mom for catching the house on fire… why do I read this shit? 

  • Anonymous

    The fat that is closer to the bone is juicer.

  • wyrosjr

    Because of your “morbid” curiosity I suspect.

  • Anonymous

    Me too! Me too!

  • Anonymous

    Well it appears she just broke that cycle.

  • Josh

    I wonder what he was on probation for, arson?

  • Anonymous

    I’ll start by saying this is unfortunate..  and I don’t mean to downplay the fact that a woman was murdered by someone she loved..  buuuuut..  I just can’t help but go into problem solving mode when people propose we play “How would you get rid of a body?” ..

    Disclaimer: I do not advocate the injury, maiming, or murder of another human being. I strongly advise people not to take anything I’m about to say too seriously..  and, if you’re squeamish, just skip it.. 

      First, I’d need to drain all the blood out of the body, which is a simple matter of hanging it upside down in the shower and allowing it to go down the drain.. After that the innards would be disposed of (heart, lungs, stomach, liver, intestines..etc) by liquifying them in a blender, and flushing them down the toilet a bit at a time..  Fingertips, and teeth would be removed from the carcass and set aside….  The carcass could then be dismembered and fed into the fire place (including finger tips)  though obviously you’d have to pay attention because of the inevitable “fat splatter” – you know.. like frying bacon..   Things just need to be done gradually..  The ashes and teeth could be disposed of by scattering them in various locations around town.. 


  • Anonymous

    i think we all just forgot the fact that someone was killed poor lady @minjofu:disqus it creeps me out that u know that…lol

  • HAL 9000

    There could be a carbon credit for using biofuel to heat his house somewhere in the tax implications here. To paraphrase Peter from Family Guy, this dude needs a Jew.

  • Anonymous


    But why would you remove the fingertips if you are going to burn the body? Do you just enjoy cutting off fingers!?

  • Sam

    *scoots well out of minjofu’s way*
    *goes online to order basket of mini-muffins to stay on minjofu’s good side*

    *files information away just in case some unfortunate ‘accident’ might happen to Sam’s arch nemesis*

  • Anonymous

    The only reason you think that is because you order your steak well. One of my boyfriends ate like that when we first met, I fixed him though.

  • Anonymous

    You don’t?

  • Anonymous

    I like to be thorough..  lol..  

  • Anonymous

    LOL.. I don’t “know” anything per se..   I just read a lot of horror, mystery, and crime stuff..   I also enjoy a challenge ..  lol..

  • Evan Oswald

    Bones don’t really burn tho

  • iLLusionS

    Sounds like a really nice guy, I bet the kids are hers…even more proof she should have ran a long time ago….But I am a little confused, since it seems she did have a restraining order on him…so maybe she was trying to get away for the sake of her children?…maybe.

  • Anonymous

    GREENSLIT!? Is that a dirty/unwashed/filthy name for a dick or what!?