Man Sets Himself On Fire, Dies After Dispute Over Cereal

My guess on the cereal is Fruit Loops. But there have got to be deeper issues than cereal at work here between the deceased and his relations. Especially given he cooked himself over the Fruity Loops instead of his sister. 

And physical disabilities whatever. It takes a good body to douse itself and light itself on fire, but a broken mind to actually do it. Perhaps there were drugs or lack of such involved? That’s my guess: Internal chemistry awry beyond mere cereal (even with bacon!).

It’s not right to lol so much at a story about some kid lighting himself on fire. Thanks for making me look even more depraved than what I actually am, Jaded.

….or Rice Crispies.

I’m thinking it was Froot Loops or Cocoa Puffs.

And does this classify him as a “cereal killer”?

“I’ll be keeping an eye out”

With all the people getting their eyes ate,and yanked out,etc.maybe you best keep your eye in.

I am guessing it was Reeses Puffs. That shit is DELICIOUS and I would stab someone if they took my last bowl…however I would not light myself on fire. That seems a bit drastic. I am happy that he didn’t set his sister on fire but the trauma that she will deal with for the rest of her life may be worse.

Cinnamon Toasted to a Crunch…

I actually worked at a grocery broker and it is basically the same shit but diff packaging, del monte makes pathmark, a&p, shoprite store brands you just end up with the bottom of the barrel basically and even shoprite and store brand coffee is chock ful of nuts and stuff

Crispix maybe. . .  Damn, what arguement could you possibly have that is worth lighting yourself on fire. 

I worked at a Schepps Dairy once upon a time;they bottled,and packaged juice,and milk.Guess what I learned while temping at that location ? Borden brand milk,and the store brand milk (off brand) are in fact the same milk.The assembly line would be running that high priced Borden milk,and then every so often we would stop the line – change the labels on the jugs and start back running the same milk into the off brand labeled jugs.All the major brands fall under this rule – including the ones which do their own packaging – the basic milk is the same.

I live in Louisville and we have two Ford manufacturing plants here. At one of them they made the Ford Ranger and also the Mazda small truck. Same exact truck. Would stop the line and change the stamping machines to slap a Mazda emblem on some of the trucks coming down the line. Then the Ford employees would criticize anyone that drove a foreign car, even though they were building them on their line. Go figure.

The only processed food I buy is canned beans and the store brand is actually better than the name brands. The Bush’s low sodium pinto and black beans have way more salt then the Publix organic brand. I buy the deli peanut butter as well because all the shelf brands have sugar in them, the Publix deli only uses peanuts and salt. I won’t be generic toilet paper or foil though.

@Jaded I suggest you change “… burned himself to a Quisp…” to: “burned himself to a COOKIE CRISP”.

Also, isn’t this a SELF IMMOLATION as a tag? I mean the kid had a point to prove.

And I can answer a few questions: The answer is it was over the last bit of cereal, the lack of marshmallows in it & the fact that she left 10cc’s of milk for him to have with his “cereal”.

Oh & BACON rounds out ANY MEAL.

Girl, you were born with the vag, you were BORN RIGHT!

Oh Jaded you are so Funny, Amazing and I love you…. LOL  (mark that in the column of Gee 1 for jaded ass kiss)   

Seriously this story had me spitting coffee up, Do think he over reacts much? Well I guess not any more. Do you think mom wishes she would have sided with the more stable of the two siblings now?

How can this be new? 

Yeah, eating it now might destroy other unrelated fond memories of our youth.  Best to not fuck with those.  And maybe, just maybe the cereal wasn’t all that good anyway.  It would be like playing Donkey Kong again after being spoiled by Skyrim.

<3

The cereal had to be Cap’n Crunch. I am convinced they put something highly addictive in that shit. I would definitely fight someone for it.

Cookie Crisp!  I loved having little chocolate chip cookies for breakfast!  I don’t know, there has to be more going on than a fight over cereal.  Maybe a long standing sibling rivalry problem gone awry?

you’d better put some damn water on that shit (friday reference)

“Got cereal, ain’t got no milk, got kool-aid, ain’t got no sugar”… love it.

There is bacon popcorn? Oooh! I was just sitting here thinking about trying to make bacon tamales.

Awww…. come on.  Don’t trash the Froot Loops.  They’re my fav.

Now… Cheerios? I’d definitely let them go.

Seriously, though.  I think there’s more to it.  The guy had to be one fry short of a Happy Meal or something.  (All these food references… I’m hungry now.  Pass the Froot Loops)

Rice Krispies? No way. Not cornflakes either. Possibly Captain Crunch.

Yep, cheapy toilet paper is like wiping your butt with napkins you borrowed from your last food food dinner. ( and don’t tell me none of you have had to resort to that)

Yep I once again have to do six the Lord’s Prayer and burn several colors of prayer candles while asking God to please forgive me for once again laughing at a story involving a horrible tragic death. First I start reading the story and glance over to see a picture of ” Crazy Flakes”. I get to the end of the story and I am laugh-snorting pepsi out of my nose. Hubby wants to know what I’m laughing at. Since I already am repenting , I add on a lie to my list of sins, seeing as there is no way in Halifax that I’m telling my husband ” Oh it’s a write up over a story about a young man setting himself on fire after an argument with his sister.” And then add ” Over cereal”. And explaining that some of my pop snorting laughter was probably to a slight case of hysteria over the state of this world, would not help my case.This poor family. How horrible to experience this!! They’ll never live a normal life after this. Poor kid, burning is an extremely painful way to go. Did he perhaps not think it through? Maybe didn’t think his whole body would catch fire or how ferocious the fire would be?

I have a metric shit ton of bacon related products – mints, toothpicks, toothpaste, gumballs, soap, air freshener, etc. And yes, I have sampled a little of each. (Just know that bacon gumballs are absotively fucking vile). I have eaten my fair share of bacon popcorn and it is actually quite good. Leaves your mouth feeling a little funky, but tasty! 

When I was a kid, I was obsessed with the cheese pizza lunchables. 
Well, there’s a Walgreens across the street from my office, and one day I
didn’t have time to pack lunch, so I ran in to Walgreens, saw the
lunchable, *excitably* grabbed it, and went to work.  Come lunch time, I
happily started on my lunchable, and come to find out, I would have
been better off eating the cardboard box that it came in.  DON’T RUIN A
CHILDHOOD MEMORY!!!

It’s so funny that you said that because I just saw those earlier this week sometime and I came sooooo close to grabbing them. You saved me haha.

Can you say the same for mothers milk since the the jugs are all different and have different style caps.