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Dad Accused Of Drugging Kids To Pass Urine ScreeningJefferson, OH — A father-of-four has been charged with giving all four of his children Oxycodone in an attempt to trick a drug test and secure more of the drug.

Police said Lawrence E. Kirk Jr., 30, was required to submit a urine test before his Oxy prescription would be renewed. The urine test needed to show that he was not using illegal drugs. Apparently not believing he would pass the screening, he reportedly devised a plan to provide the urine that needed to be Oxy-tainted – but otherwise clean.

Police said Kirk diluted highly addictive Oxycodone in water and then had his 6, 7, 9 and 10 year old children drink the concoction. He then collected their urine and presented it to a doctor as his own. Lest anyone think that Kirk was off on his own in this endeavor… Kirk’s wife, Sarah, 31, who was also implicated in the scheme, has already pleaded guilty to four counts of endangering children.

According to the arrest affidavit, authorities discovered the scam when the children told a social worker that their parents would feed them crushed blue pills in water. The children have been placed in the care of the Children’s Services Department.

Kirk has been charged with four counts of corrupting another with drugs; endangering children; deception to obtain drugs, and aggravated trafficking in drugs. Kirk’s jury trial gets underway next week, but his D’D trial begins right … about … now.

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  • CT

    Way to put your drug habit before your children.  Two stupid people that were able to procreate but obviously are not parents.  Parents are people that put their children before themselves and will do anything possible to ensure that their kids are happy and healthy.  Stupid fucks. 

  • http://justiceforcaylee.synthasite.com/ shyloh

    Thank God for truthful children. Idiots…. if you are going to try something as dumb as that. YOU DON’T LET YOUR KIDS SEE YOU DOING IT!!! Sad people USE their children to try and cover their own asses when they get caught doing something illegal!

  • http://truecrimereport.com iLLusionS

    What a bunch of brainiacs!!! It’s really fucking sad when your kids don’t matter in the scheme of things, as long as you can keep popping your pills!

  • http://www.facebook.com/HamsterNinjaofDOOM Alecia Hendricks

    Kids ruin everything.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

    “but his D’D trial begins right … about … now.”  – And you know this man.

    I had to Google this drug,I had no idea that it was a prescription pain killer .
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oxycodone 

    This guy is a complete and total asshole,you don’t do kids like this … it might be an extreme example but Michael Jackson popped into my mind;mostly because of this :
    In high doses, overdoses, or in patients not tolerant to opiates, oxycodone can cause shallow breathing, bradycardia, cold, clammy skin, apnea, hypotension, miosis (pupil constriction), circulatory collapse, respiratory arrest, and death.

  • http://tothechest.com Pete Puma

    Do you think this oxycodone stuff has the ability to make kids sufferable?

  • CT

    You must have been at my house last week.

  • Sam

    Only if you feed them enough of it.

  • guillotinegirl

    It’s cheaper to use a steel-toed boot to the temple.

  • Anonymous

    I always joke to my friends that if they want their kids to go to bed at a decent time (mine go at 7pm) all the got to do is REALLY tire them out throught the day. But if the kid still has power, slip them a bit of Benadryl in their juice cups & that’ll put them out.

    I think I should shut up & stop telling that joke or they’ll start to call me Kirk.

  • Anonymous

    Wow, you’re 30 & you haven’t matured yet.

    I’m glad they took those kids away & now they might have a chance at being raised by a mature & responsible ROLE MODEL/PARENTAL FIGURE.

    White Xmas (Christmas song)

    I’m dreaming of blue pills prescripted
    but my doctor after checking my pee.
    But I can’t stop getting high
    and I have to get my Oxy high.
    Will the wifey help my endevour?Oh how I love my hoe!

    I’m mixing water with blue pillsand my kiddos will drink all of it.
    I just can’t afford Kool-Aid
    nor a can of some choco quick
    for my kids.
    I need pills.

  • Anonymous

    Parents will also become role models to the children.

    Way to make sure his kids all turn out junkies.

  • Anonymous

    Immature people BLAME OTHERS for shit they did. Immature/Selfish people use their children for illegal stuff.

  • Anonymous

    Like another poster on here once said: “You want to know the truth? Ask a child”.

  • Anonymous

    I hope the kids weren’t given enough to cause damage or have withdrawals. Oxy is marketed under several names, depending on whether it is mixed with tylenol, aspirin or ibuprofen. I know Percocet is a form of Oxycodone. I know adults that had withdrawal symptoms from Percocet.

  • Anonymous

    Usually the blue ones are a relatively high dosage (30 mg). The ones you’ll get for basic injuries are only 5-10 mg each, so 30 is quite high for anyone without a well developed tolerance, especially for a child. It’s easily enough to feel really sick. They’re usually made for long term suffering, such as cancer treatments. They sound like selfish bastards, so hopefully they only dissolved small portions so they could hoard the rest and screw up their own lives instead.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

    Now-a-days that would be a bad joke.

  • aka jas

    My mothers ex-husband has an addiction to this shit.  He has lost EVERYTHING material and emotional in his life and from what I hear is about to lose a foot.  He tried getting off that shit and had to go to the methadone clinic to get his meds.  My point is that this shit is just like heroin and so are the users.  Drug/substance addiction is a powerful thing.  And what is sad is that some of the smartest kindest people in the world will never be to their potential because of this nasty crutch. People that have never made it through addiction dont understand –Life is painful (and while its a just a way out) its easier and numbing to keep the cycle.  Once you alter your brain in a chemical depenancy way, pain takes on a whole new deffinition.  And most of the time, these drug addicts are products of drug addicts.  Its extremely hard to learn something more than what you know.

    These people are pieces of shit.  Cycles can be broken and people CAN change.

  • Smileypants

    And he woulda gotten away with it too…..if it weren’t for those meddeling kids.

  • Anonymous

    There are only two words.  F’ing asshole.

  • Anonymous

    Thats what i think happened to caylee

  • Anonymous

    It seems he was prob selling or trading them for the drugs he was really into, in order to get the oxy he has to prove he is taking them

  • Anonymous

    Seems like a lot of damn trouble to me just to score some drugs. If I had to lie, cheat, poison and steal AND expect my four kids to keep it all secret, I’d just walk out in front of a semi. That’ll surely get you some intravenous morphine for awhile.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XA4RDSRSUX3XRSCPRR7XNGSPUQ Joshua

    I hope you don’t mean to use it on the kids…

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Rebecca-Garcia/100000746322144 Rebecca Garcia

    something like that but not quite.

  • Anonymous

    silly, silly Kirk, don’t you know you tell the 6 and 7 year old the blue pills make their older siblings turn into drones who do nothing but let the young ones get away with what they want-then the 6 and 7 year old kids will on their own crush up pills and secretly feed to the older two and those intrusive CPS jerks will never be the wiser.  At least that’s how we do it at my house…….

  • Anonymous

    That and i think she kept her in the trunk at nite while she partied

  • Anonymous

    I used to get paid handsomely to hook a friend’s entire family up with strictly oxy-laced urine. They keep  a big bottle of it the freezer (and would go through it pretty regularly as this family was at least 5 + people). Every member of the family has several doctors hooking them up with pain meds and each doctor wanted monthly proof that’s all they’re doing (it’s wasn’t; plenty of weed, heroin and crack in the that mix). I would feel guilty but I wanted the money and how often can you say your got paid $60 a month for bottles of your neighbor’s piss? 

  • TheLadyDragon

    I was going to suggest that he should have asked his neighbours for Oxy-fied Piss… apparently by neighbour I meant you SnailFever.

  • Anonymous

    “Kirk’s jury trial gets underway next week, but his D’D trial begins right … about … now.”

    Heh.  Brilliant!

  • Anonymous

    Yes, but you have to take medically inadvisable quantities.  And the little savages will destroy the house while you’re passed out on the sofa.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1111040088 Kelly Durbin

    My parents didn’t love me.  They never did this for me LOL

  • Anonymous

    AHHH, our tax dollars at work, supporting scumbag predicate welfare offenders pill habits.

  • Anonymous

    I came here thinking this.
    I understand WHY he did it.  Obviously I don’t like it, but goddamn dad, use some friggin’ sense. Get ONE kid to do it, pick the one least likely to break under questioning, and probably bribe him with something too.
    If you’re breaking the law, at least break it well.

  • Anonymous

    You gotta take it a good while to get withdrawals.  And at pretty consistent levels.
    And hydrocodone/oxycodone/percocet are all opiates.