Illinois – Police arrested an 18-year-old drunk chick who crashed her car on Saturday because, according to police, she was upset over her boyfriend not taking her to see that crappy Twilight movie.
Olivia Ornelas, 18, was charged with drunken driving and unlawful consumption of alcohol by a minor after her car was found in a ditch at 12:04 a.m. Saturday morning. The car she was trying to drive while “extremely intoxicated” was missing a front right tire.
She reportedly told deputies that she had ended up in the roadside ditch because her boyfriend had upset her when he didn’t take her to see the new Twilight movie as planned.
I gotta commend the boyfriend if he bailed on this loopy broad on purpose as sometimes the vagina just isn’t worth the hassle. Hell, Sofía Vergara could ask me to go to the new Twilight movie and my immediate response would be me telling her to go f*ck herself.
I know, I know… it’s almost cliche to hate on Twilight. But I’m dead serious. Not just because of the silly plot, the sparkling vampires, or the grown women here at work who clamor to see the movies, soaking the theater seats over Edward and Jacob. No, it’s because of Kristen Stewart.
Admittedly, I thought she was ok in Panic Room when she played a little girl with diabetes having seizures from lack of Glucagon, but then you find out that’s pretty much her full range of emotion… a little girl with diabetes having seizures from lack of Glucagon. To paraphrase Robert Shaw from Jaws: “Ever seen Kristen Stewart’s eyes? Lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Doll’s eyes.” Whenever I see her on screen, I feel like I’m sightseeing in Uncanny Valley.
Regardless of my feelings towards the movies, let’s hear it from you. ‘Fess up. Who, over the age of 25, likes the Twilight series and why?Tags: alcohol, Crime, Drunk Driving, DUI, Illinois, movie, Olivia Ornelas, Twilight