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Police: Man Invaded Homes, Demanded Beer, Got Stabby

October 31, 2011 at 4:07 am by  

Police: Man Invaded Homes, Demanded Beer, Got StabbyChicago, IL — Tim Snyder, 36, has been accused of stabbing a man with a corkscrew after he broke into two separate apartments in search of beer early Saturday morning.

Snyder reportedly forced his way into the first apartment at about 4:00 a.m., demanded beer and began rummaging through the refrigerator. Empty handed and angry, police say Snyder punched the apartment’s occupant before exiting the home and continuing with his quest.

Just moments later, Snyder entered another apartment in the building where he was immediately confronted by a male resident. The two scrapped for a bit before Snyder armed himself with a corkscrew and stabbed the man in the back. Other residents in the apartment were able to hold Snyder until police arrived. The guy who got corkscrewed ended up with about 22 stitches.

He apparently hadn’t calmed down any in the time it took for the police to get there. Snyder reportedly threatened one of the arresting officers, telling him, “I live in the district. I’m going to kill your ass – you can’t lock me up forever.” He then asked the officer if he wanted some AIDS and spat on him.

Snyder has been charged with two counts of home invasion, aggravated battery causing great bodily harm and aggravated battery to a police officer. He was ordered held on $250,000 bond. Past convictions include both aggravated and domestic battery.

Let’s say we put him and Ms. Henry in a cage together. He gets a bowl of potato salad and she gets a six pack of beer. Who do you think would come out on top? My five’s on Henry…

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27 Comments

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    • Anonymous

      IDK Jaded, this prick has anger management issues too.  He might just one up Ms. Henry with that mighty corkscrew of his.  My five is on him.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Andy-Staves/521875395 Andy Staves

      Beer and potato salad, sounds like their time will be a bit of a picnic to me lol (sorry!)

    • Anonymous

      ..Reminds me the scene in Very Bad Things where the security guard is stabbed and killed with a corkscrew. 
      I guess this clown thought his victim was a bottle of red wine or something, as desperate as he was for booze.

    • http://justiceforcaylee.synthasite.com/ shyloh

      UHM I don’t think it’s anger issues. I believe he’s a full blown (IDIOT) alcoholic! Breaking into homes now, tomorrow liquor store.. Well cept he’s behind bars now. Mr. Stabby left without a drinky bwaaaaa!!!

    • http://justiceforcaylee.synthasite.com/ shyloh

      That was cold! (Ice pick) get it. Cold! Ok it’s early… HAHAHAHAHA!!!

    • Anonymous

      Moron. Bringing a corkscrew to a beer fight.

      Since I usually enjoy a few cold ones at home the chances are pretty good that this dude would have gotten his beer had he opted for my place.

      Once I knocked his ass out with my handy dandy Louisville Slugger, I would have pissed on him.

      Hence….recycled beer.

    • http://tothechest.com Pete Puma

      Everybody knows that AIDS isn’t something you ASK if somebody wants. You just give it to them, like a bouquet of flowers.

    • Optimus_past_my_Prime

      My first thought on this was from Friday the 13th IV when Crispin Glover was yelling, “Hey Ted where’s the corkscrew?!” I miss the 80′s.

    • Anonymous

      You’re so romantic, Pete! <3

    • http://www.facebook.com/rachel.a.prince Rachel Ann Prince

      My money is on Henry she got the Devil on her side just look in her eyes. This dude is just a alcoholic dumb ass who obviously failed burglary 101. 
      Dearlord I need a shot of espresso I so fucking tired :/  

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

      ” I would have pissed on him.” Nasty.
      I didn’t know that you were into the whole Golden Shower thing Dirty;don’t try to deny it – your comment is clear.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

      LOL.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

      Wow … did you actually recall that – or did you recently re-watch it ?

    • Optimus_past_my_Prime

      Total recall. I’ve seen them all so many times it’s hard to forget. 

    • Anonymous

      Actually, I just like pissing on things.
      Marking my territory, if you will.

      But now that you brought it up….you seem to have connection to such things.
      I am seeing a pattern here, Golden Shower, Golden Corral…..hmmmm, lol.

    • LeaveMeBe

      It is just mind-boggling to me that he managed to get into two apartments around 4:30 in the morning. Why the hell don’t people lock their doors? Hellooooo, this is Ways-Not-To-Get-Your-Ass-Robbed-Killed-Or-Assaulted 101. Idiots.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

      Years,and years ago back when I was married (almost a year into the marriage),my doorbell rung at about 0200.The ringing woke me and my wife up.I got out of bed,and went to the door(because my wife was doing that woman thing – asking me “Who’s at the door?”,like “I” knew or something).

      I asked “Who is it ?” and a woman’s voice replied “It’s me,open the door.” I didn’t recognize the voice,but it sounded attractive,and non-threatening,so I opened the door to see who it was.Standing there when I opened the door was a very attractive, White woman of about 25 or so years of age;she was obviously drunk,by her unsteady balance.I had no idea who she was,I had never seen her before.

      “Move out the way and let me in.”She says.I replied” You’re at the wrong apartment.I don’t know you.” I was thinking about my wife and how I wished she was not at home(LOL) … actually,I was worried because I knew my wife was not going to believe that I did not know this woman (My wife had also got out of bed and was standing in the bedroom doorway watching.

      The lady pushed past me into my apartment living room saying “Stop lying.” She stumbled around drunkenly for about a minute or so looking around, finally seeing my wife standing there staring at her like “What the fuck ?” (My wife had that – I am about to kick her ass look, on her face.I’m sure she suspected at that point that I had something going with this girl.)

      And then without a word the woman  stumbled back past me,out the still open door and was gone.I closed the door,relocked it and went and climbed back into bed;trying to go back to sleep -tried to being the key word, because true to form my wife started the interrogation at that point.

      “Who was that Woman Cedric ? ” “I don’t know – she was at the wrong apartment,and she was drunk.” “I know you know her …” Women,you can’t live with them,and you can’t live without them …

    • Anonymous

      …. my friend drunkenly pissed on his mother’s feet and when she asked what the hell he was doing he replied “marking my territory”.

    • Anonymous

      Slow down on the caffenine there, Cedric. Looks like you were speed typing..lol

      “That was no lady…that was my ex-girlfriend!”

      How was the make-up sex?
      Did you throw the drunken white woman into the mix in you mind just fo fun?

      Inquiring minds need to know.

    • Anonymous

      Is this the reason why we didn’t hear from @Morbid:disqus since like Thursday????

      Pulled pork & Evan Williams my ass!

    • LeaveMeBe

      Yep, I see it too Dawg. Ced’s our “Golden Boy”. Haha!

    • Anonymous

      You should have told me you were married in the first place.

    • Anonymous

      He got set on fire for yelling “Oh Stacey!”

    • guillotinegirl

      My money is on Ms. Henry. She would just stick him with her proboscis and suck out his bodily fluids.

    • http://www.facebook.com/rachel.a.prince Rachel Ann Prince

      Ugh you’re making me think of Slither that movie is not for the squeamish! 

    • Anonymous

      Well yanno couldn’t resist a li’l Halloween black humor. 
      Seriously I hope dude is okay. I can’t imagine having 22 stitches over corkscrew wounds. Egads. 

    • Anonymous

      Quaid? Oh no that was Total Recall. n/m hehee