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Zimbabwe Man Claims Prostitute Turned Into A Donkey OvernightS. Africa — A man busted in the act of diddling a donkey told a judge the animal was actually a prostitute who somehow transformed into a donkey overnight.

I know, I know…we don’t usually cover stories from this region, and Morbid will probably have my head for it, but dammit! I found an awesome pic of a smiling donkey to accompany the story, so I’m running with it.

Sunday Moyo, 28, was found by police officers performing a sex act on the donkey, who was lying on the ground tied to a tree, early Sunday morning. At his court hearing earlier this week, Moyo admitted to the doinking, but explained to the judge that the donkey was really a hooker he had hired at a nightclub the night before.

“Your worship, I only came to know that I was being intimate with a donkey when I got arrested. I had hired a prostitute and paid US$20 for the service at Down Town nightclub, and I don’t know how she then became a donkey.”

Don’t you just hate when that happens? And the bitches never want to refund your money afterwards, either.

Anyway, Moyo reportedly went on to say that he is now in love with the animal, telling the court, “I think I am also a donkey. I do not know what happened when I left the bar, but I am seriously in love with [the] donkey.” D’awwwww!! I’m verklempt…seriously.

Moyo was charged with bestiality and ordered to undergo a psychiatric evaluation. And the donkey? Rumor has it the commitment fearing vixen hopped the last train out of Zvishavane and hasn’t been seen since.

Thanks, guillotinegirl.

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Comments


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  • guillotinegirl

    Twenty bucks is the cheapest rate ever for a shape-shifting prostitute (and to clarify, I don’t mean the “Oh-my-God-you’re-a-man!” kind).

    p.s. Jaded, always a pleasure.

  • http://justiceforcaylee.synthasite.com/ shyloh

    What an “ASS” she turned out to be… HUH! I bet a lot of men……… Oh nevermind…

  • Jemimabean

    Fucking donkey- raping Zimbabweans. Is no- one safe from them anymore? :P

  • Optimus_past_my_Prime

    Sunday Moyo, “AKA Shrek” was obviously the victim of a cruel trick played by, none other than, the shape shifting donkey hooker. Seems likely.

  • Anonymous

    “we don’t usually cover stories from this region, and Morbid will probably have my head for it, but dammit! I found an awesome pic of a smiling donkey to accompany the story, so I’m running with it.”

    While the cats away… I like the picture too so there.

  • Prominent Prozac

    Man, the Animorphs have been busy since the 90s

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Jaded

    A smiling donkey. With the internet, anything is possible.

  • http://truecrimereport.com iLLusionS

    Wonder if it talked to him in Eddie Murphy’s voice…? Hmmmmm

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Jaded

    Now that would just be creepy.

  • http://truecrimereport.com iLLusionS

    A sure turn off Jaded…

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com/forums/ Dakota Valkyrie

    I hate it when I get so drunk I forget what species I’m attracted to.

  • http://www.facebook.com/MountainsMakeMeNauseous Jean

    When I said I needed some ass, this wasn’t what I had in mind…

  • Anonymous

    This would make a great SHREK porno.

  • Anonymous

    Dude was sporting some serious beer-goggles. And now he’s in love? Must’ve been a good piece of ass.

  • Anonymous

    And this time it let me edit. WTF is up with this shit?

  • Anonymous

    So true, the Internet has truly enriched our lives. Now I know what every cat alive on the planet looks like, what comes out of a boil, and that hookers sometimes turn into donkeys.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

    “found by police officers performing a sex act on the donkey, who was lying on the ground”
    I can hear the Donkey yelling at the police officers now ” COCK BLOCKERS !!!”

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

    ” I bet that Donkey was like ” Slap that Ass.”
    and “Slow down you puny human,you gon make a Donkey cum too fast.”

  • EveryVillainIsLemons

    Did she ask for parfait?

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Jaded

    I still don’t know what comes out of a boil and will die happy if I never find out.

  • LeaveMeBe

    If this had happened in Haiti I would totally believe this dude.

  • LeaveMeBe

    Zimbabweans. I don’t know why, but I love saying that and I know it will be running through my head all day. :)

  • Anonymous

    Ya’ll know that some idiot’s gonna say it was VooDoo or witchcraft & that he’s been cursed & he’s gonna be free & not go to jail at all, right?

    *Shakes head*

    I am glad he’s trying to reproduce with a donkey & not a human. Can ya’ll imagine how dumb the cum by-product of his and any human would be if he were to pass on genetics???

    And it wasn’t a club he went to. The idiot went TO A FUCKING PETTING ZOO! Of course you paid $20 for fucking a “prostitute”!!!

  • Coyote

    Don’t you know, the donkey’s name is Kinky Kelly and Moyo’s the Sexy Stud.  People pay good money to see that. 

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_R7EKXOMLBJQ6YPSBV42ZCYHQOM Andrea

    Twenty dollars? Sounds like a steal… He could double his money if he sold the donkey meat, once he was done tenderizing it.

  • Anonymous

    “If he had eaten an onion while boneing the donkey he would have had a piece of ass that brought tears to his eyes.”

  • Anonymous

    The voice is what gets you huh? Not the whole donkey thing then?

  • Jemimabean

    Well, what more do you expect from a nation that has collectively kept Bob Mugabe in power for decades (she says as she ignores the fact that Julius Malema is running amok in her own country, for the sake of the snarky remark about backwards old Zimbabwe…) :P

  • Anonymous

    Ok you totally lost me on the political comment part. I thought you were gonna rank on that woman that said AIDS was cured with some lemon root crap & garlic but you went for the hardcore politics.

    I’m sorry I’m stupid. But I pressed the “LIKE” button!

  • Anonymous

    Bwahaaahhhh lol

  • Anonymous

    Oh “donkey ____” Cedric lol

  • Anonymous

    Apparently raping babies cures aids

  • Anonymous

    you should have looked a little further and found a donkey smoking a cigarette.  :)

  • Anonymous

     “I think I am also a donkey. I do not know what happened when I left the bar, but I am seriously in love with [the] donkey.”  This almost made me spit out my beer from laughing! Thanks Jaded!

  • Anonymous

    The belief in magic is so strong around those parts, the judges actually take those excuses seriously. Not sure how in this day and age.
    See link-
    ‘Nigerian police hold ‘magic’ goat over attempted car theft’
     http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/africaandindianocean/nigeria/4325377/Nigerian-police-hold-magic-goat-over-attempted-car-theft.html

  • Anonymous

    WHAT!? Where’d you heard that!???

  • http://truecrimereport.com iLLusionS

    :D Snark  I wondered if someone would fill in that blank..Donkeys in general don’t turn me on…………;P But I was sensing this connection with Eddie Murphy=prostitutes Eddie Murphy=Donkeys….and it just was so fitting…;)

  • Jemimabean

    Yip. Southern Africa is home to a horrible “superstition” (frankly, my opinion is that it’s just bullshit to “account” for paedophilic tendencies) that if you have sex with a virgin, your AIDS will vanish. And since we have THE HIGHEST rate of child rape ON THE PLANET, it stands to reason that your chances of finding a virgin are better if said virgin is a baby. I was volunteering at a haven for discarded and neglected little children until we moved, and the most horrific thing is NOT the malnourished children, it is NOT the babies who are born HIV+, it is simply the vast number of toddlers and preschoolers who are battling HIV and AIDS when THEY WERE NOT BORN WITH IT. I mean, aside from the horror of changing the diaper of a baby who has been brutally raped (even  after they have healed) that is the single most horrible thing we have to deal with here. And the scope of people who are able to protect these kids is drastically dwindling- and of course you cannot re- educate the perpetrators because in this country because they are so pig- headed.

  • Anonymous

    I thought you lived in England! Your accent came across as English because of the internet. *Shakes fist* DAMN YOU INTERNET!

    Then again, I learned English as a second language so everyone sounds English for a few minutes until I can process the accent & then relocate their accent to a different country.

    And thank you for caring for kids. Doesn’t matter where you do it, as long as you do it.

  • Anonymous

    This guy thinks he mayne a donkey? More likely just an ass.

  • Jemimabean

    Cool, I’ll take that as a compliment, thank- you! (It’s all the OUs instead of just Os in the spelling!) What’s your first language?

  • Anonymous

    Spanish as I live in the other side of the world & it has more countries that speak it than any other language.

  • http://www.newsvine.com/carmella75 Carmella

    Damn shame!!!!…lol

  • pikeman

    Bob Mugwhobe? I can’t even believe you know this shit about Zimbabwe. I never hear anything about Zimbabwe except guys who get donkeys for hookers on DD. 

  • pikeman

    I think the Zimbabwe police force needs to question the donkey about this.

    “Donkey, are you a hooker?”

    “NEIGGGHHHH!”

  • Jemimabean

    Do you mean the late and not- so- great Manto? That chick was an alcoholic (she had cirrosis of the liver) and jumped the transplant queue TWICE in less than three years. Minister of Health she certainly was not- she went around trying to convince the nation that ARVs are toxic and that we could all rely on a diet of sweet potatoes and beetroot to combat AIDS.

  • Anonymous

    That same one.

    You know, I always thought that someone that was Minister of Health in any country should be AT LEAST a general physician (as in a regular family DOCTOR).

    That title should be given to someone who earns a degree in medicine & can actually prescribe medication & has actually practiced medicine without having ANY malpractice suits against them.

  • Jemimabean

    I think she was a gynaecologist- but still, somebody with a lack of common sense should not be entrusted with major decisions concerning the health of millions. Point is, whether or not she had a degree, she was an alcoholic who lived to almost 70 years of age- which is much, much longer than many tiny children desperately clinging to life while they legitimately wait for a donor organ to become available. It’s just sickening.

  • Laura_RT

    I was always assuming European too. ‘You know what they sat about what happens when you assume’… Hey, maybe that’s what happened to this guy! I’ve got it all figured out now…

  • Anonymous

    *Doinking* LOL ! Jaded you have such a way with words. :)

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

    LOL.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

    LOL.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

    I was wondering too …

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

    “haven for discarded and neglected little children” WTF ???
    Are you seriously telling me that people over there are actively fucking babies ? That is disgusting.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

    LMAO.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

     Yep,guy just couldn’t get the taste of those Donkey nuts out of his mouth.Now every time he sees a Donkey his Dick is going to get hard in his pants … either that of his asshole is going to pucker …

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

    The extent of some ignorance amazes me.