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Vallejo, CA – No crime was committed in this story, but the visuals had me laughing my ass off this morning.

A 21-year-old was in Blue Rock Springs Park Friday night with friends when he bet $100 he could fit his ass into a child’s swing. You know, the plastic ones made for toddlers that are equipped with leg holes.

The man lubed himself up with some laundry detergent and successfully squeezed himself into the swing, winning the $100. Unfortunately, his winning will barely cover the costs of having to be rescued by Vallejo fighters. See, the man got stuck in the swing. Even worse, the man has douchebag friends who did what I would have done when they left him stuck in the swing.

He would not be found until 9 hours later after a park employee arrived and called police upon hearing the man’s screams for help. Ok, up to this point the story is kind of humorous to me. But what happened next is the hilarious part.

When responding firefighters arrived, the first thing they did was to cut the chains holding the swing’s seat. They then transported the man to the hospital, still wearing the swing. I swear I laugh every time I think about this guy doing a shuffle-walk while wearing a bright kid’s swing like a large, plastic diaper.

The man was transported to the hospital where firefighters used a cast cutter to remove the swing. While reports are that he suffered non-life threatening injuries, I am sure the same can not be said about the man’s pride and dignity.

Anyone else ever pull something dumb like this on a dare? The stupidest one I can remember is jumping a ramp with a friend’s sister’s bike complete with a front basket and a bell on the handlebars. I remember ringing the bell when I got air, then that’s about it. I still have a scar on my leg from that one.

BTW, if you are work, make sure your Safe Search is on if you ever plan on searching for “adult in swing.” I haven’t cleared a search history that fast since the time I searched for the seemingly innocent “bed intruder album cover.”

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  • Anonymous

    I read the headline and assumed this was going to be a blog post about Morbid’s weekend…

    Turns out this one is local to me. Keep it classy, V-Town!

  • Anonymous

    *snort* My daughter did this when she was 9; differences were that she was able to get out herself, and her friends weren’t douchabags who left her there.  We still get a good laugh out of it.  :)

    And your last comment?  Reminds me of when I wanted to see if my gym shoes were on sale at Dick’s Sporting Goods, so went online and typed in dicks.com.  Oops.  O.O

  • Anonymous

    This is the up and coming generation that will be running our country soon.  Nice. 

    On a dare we went ringing door bells and running one night.  I know, it ranks up there with the same excitement as making prank phone calls.  It was my turn and I pushed the button, turned to run and my forehead met up with the mail box that was attached to the house and cut a huge gash requiring 27 stitches.

  • LuvsHorror

    I doubt he had any pride and dignity to begin with. What a dope.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_D7B67ACW7RYKF6HLVNZYB7H2I4 Miss Kitty

    I did the same thing with Dicks! hahaha so glad the kids weren’t in the room lol

  • Anonymous

    All that and nobody took any pictures?  Ah, come on, people!  What’s the point of luring a moron into a toddler’s swing if you’re not even gonna take pictures! 

    Kids these days, they just don’t think.

  • Anonymous

    I don’t think I would have been able to leave the guy in the swing, that way I’d have pictures and video of the rescue. Our dares were often about eating something gross (grasshopper legs taste like strawberry incidentally). I once went to a 7-11 to buy ice cream with nothing on but a trench coat. I think that was the dumbest dare I ever got talked into.

  • Anonymous

    Well usually it’s the males of our species that do dumbass stuff like this. Some friends this guy has.I would not have left him in the swing.

  • guillotinegirl

    If this guy has friends like me there are already pics and video uploaded to the internet.

  • Anonymous

    If I could just bottle “common sense” and “empathy” in a bottle, I’d be so fucking rich right now.

  • Anonymous

    Me either.

  • AliceinChainsman =]

    I would gladly help…lol

  • Anonymous

    I used to be the one that did dares, too. I ate a worm= tastes like dirt. Ate a fire fly= tastes bitter and poisonous. Got stuck in a toddler swing at 11, my friends got my step dad who pulled me out. Kissed a girl on on school bus (it was great kiss). I swear, we are all a bunch of misfits on here…

  • Anonymous

    I was always told the yellow light up thing was poisonous on a Firefly so we never ate them when me and my brothers were little.

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  • http://truecrimereport.com iLLusionS

    I did witness some friends leaving a friend at a house down the street from his REAL house…and watching his drunk ass belly “crawl” up the steps to attempt to ring a doorbell that was not his own…..BUT they ended up going to get him. What are friends for? The visual of this is pretty hilarious..But I don’t know if I could have left the poor shmoe there either….Then again they were probably all drunk here..the blind leading the blind :D

  • Anonymous

    I believe it. It was so bitter…I was nauseated afterwords, maybe it was the poison, maybe because it tasted so bad?

  • Anonymous

    You know that reminds me of the ear wax competitions we use to have then we graduated to whole mouths full of play dough.  We would count 1001 1002 1003….. to see who could hold it in their mouths the longest.  The multi color spittle that would run down the chin was remarkable and the flavor last sssssssoooooooooooooo long.

  • Anonymous

    Ugggg!!!

  • http://justiceforcaylee.synthasite.com/ shyloh

    I could help but think of the song

    John Anderson

    There’s a little girl in our neighborhood,

    her name is Charlotte Johnson and she’s really lookin’ good.

    I had to go and see her, so I called her on the phone.

    I walked over to her house and this was going on:

    Her brother was on the sofa, eatin’ chocolate pie,

    her Mama was in the kitchen cuttin’ chicken up to fry.

    Her daddy was in the backyard rollin’ up a garden hose,

    I was on the porch with Charlotte, feelin’ love down to my toes…

    and we were Swingin’, yes we were Swingin’…

    Little Charlotte she’s as pretty as the angels when they sing,

    I can’t believe I’m out here on her front porch in this swing,

    just-a-swingin,

    Yeah, and we’ll be swingin, yes, we’ll be swinging.

    Little Charlotte she’s as pretty as the angels when they sang,

    I can’t believe I’m out here on the front porch in the swang,

    just-a-swangin.

    Now Charlotte she’s the darlin’, she’s the apple of my eye,

    and when I’m on the swang with her it makes me almost high.

    And Charlotte is my lover and she has been since the sprang,

    I just can’t believe it started on her front porch in this swang.

    Just a swangin, well just a swangin,

    Little Charlotte she’s as pretty as the angels when they sang,

    I can’t believe I’m out here on the front porch in the swang,

    just-a-swangin.

    I said, Little Charlotte she’s as pretty as the angels when they sang,

    I can’t believe I’m out here on her front porch in the swang,

    just-a-swangin.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_PKSJ42VBXNAFJLOH54Y3K4KTXU Heather Habilatory

    hahaha! That is pretty damned funny!

    I think the dumbest dare I ever did was jump off the trolley bridge into the Heart River. It’s a small, shallow river. No clue how we survived that shit!

  • Anonymous

    “his guy doing a shuffle-walk while wearing a bright kid’s swing like a large, plastic diaper” was the line that got me snorting coffee through my nose. 

  • malq

    I was just wonder if the guy had to piss or shit himself and he couldn’ because the seat is so tight.

    Probably the dumbest thing I ever did was tie a steeltip dart onto a the end of my fishng pole and cast it into my friends kneecap from about 25 feet. It stuck so fucking hard in his bone,  I had to jerk it out like it was a snag. It flew right back at me and buried in my shoulder. It hurt all last week, just now feeling better.

  • http://www.facebook.com/rachel.a.prince Rachel Ann Prince

    With friends like these who the fuck needs enemies? I mean wow I think I would have left him there for a laugh but after awhile I would have come back to check on the dumbass.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

    “BTW, if you are work, make sure your Safe Search is on if you ever plan on searching for “adult in swing.” You already know Morbid that when you make statements like this you force people to do these things – I am not at work,so I had to … you must have already corrupted your Google searches previously … this looks fine, and very family friendly to me.Bunch of pics similar to the attached popped up.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

    They were probably all drunk,and this guys most likely a hose.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

    Link us to the video – I for one would like to see that SuzanneBa.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

    WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU ??? (LOL).

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

    I suddenly feel normal … thank you for sharing.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

    I have made many a small yellow river in my time on this earth … never thought to have anyone jump into one though … oh,you said – shallow,my bad.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

    You kinda stepped on JGo555′s turf with that … but I liked it anyways.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

    You and your friends had issues my friend.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

    Maybe it was the fact that you were eating an insects shit … just a thought (LOL).

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

    Reads annagg’s list of deeds … ( moves bar stool away from annagg ).
    “I swear, we are all a bunch of misfits on here” – “No Bartender, I don’t know that person.”

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

    You were told correct.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

    Fireflies contain toxic substances,lucibufagins,which are self-defense compounds.It is suspected that the bitter taste you describe is a self defense mechanism,most creatures would spit out the fly,not continue to make a meal of it.Apparently, you would need to eat a shit load of lucibufagins for it to kill a human,but it does not take much at all to kill certain animals.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

    WOW.
    I really like you – so all ima say is – WOW (LOL).

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

    I totally agree with you.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

    “Well usually it’s the males of our species that do dumbass stuff like this.” Hey,that is a vicious stereotype … soon as I get out of this swing I will prove you wrong.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

    Actually you would be bankrupt … the people who you are thinking would be your customers are all too fucking stupid to realize they need those bottles.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

    By the way the chick on the swing is kinda hot …

  • http://twitter.com/LaylaLolly Hibbidywhoblah

    A true friend woulda let him sweat for a bit….but come back with a sawzall eventually.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_TQLUHRWAN7ZBKSAE7FKDVHBKSM Christina

    i grew up in vallejo, funny that he got stuck in that particular park. out of the way, isolated and dark as hell. which of course makes it funnier :)

  • Anonymous

    Dude, it was a TRIPLE DOG DARE, you don’t take that shit lightly when you’re 15.

  • Anonymous

    That’s not that half of, it. I started smoking when I was 8, I used to staple myself and pierced my own nipples with safety pins when i was 13, slept with grown men and got a tattoo when i was 14, stole a car when I was 15 (I wrecked it, never got caught) I gave people tattoos for cigarettes when i was 16, hitch hiked 400 miles when i was 17…I burglarized a Chinese restaurant with my brother when i was 14, we got busted though, I went to juvey over it. I was even a lesbian for a while. Shaved my head when I was 18 (my hair was to my waist when I did it). I made home made porn before Paris Hilton and Pam Anderson. You would be effing THRILLED to know me, lol. Just kidding, now I am a suburban mom of 4 with my own business, 4 kids and 2 mini vans. The white picket fence goes up next spring.

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  • Anonymous

    Lmao Cedric :)

  • Anonymous

    I do too, after reading all this stuff.

  • Anonymous

    Geez! shyloh, all these years, I did not know her name was Charlotte. I had thought he was saying shorty all this time *giggle*

  • Anonymous

    Once I have my web cam up and running I’ll be a thing of nightmares.  Threatening to Skype my daughter everymorning with my ugly mug.

  • Anonymous

    Not if the government buys my shit to give instead of those so called: “anger management classes” it seems to dish out to every criminal that ends up doing something criminal AFTER taking the classes.

  • LeaveMeBe

    My brother is a firefighter and he tells stories like this all the time! Stupidest thing I ever did on a dare was when I was 14 at church camp. A group of girls snuck out of our cabin and went to the river where someone from the group dared us to skinny dip. Four did, two didn’t, and the two that didn’t grabbed all of our clothers and ran back to the cabins which were a good 3/4 of a mile away! I ended up walking back by myself and gathering up clothes and towels for us. Good times.

  • Anonymous

    Story of my life, Cedric. Everytime I have ever done something wrong, even just playing a practical joke on someone, I ALWAYS end up with something crazy happening me.  A few years back a colleague bought a carton of cigarettes and sat them on her desk and left.  I got the brilliant idea of hiding them in a cabinet with the full intention of putting them back after she tripped out looking for them.  I totally forgot about them for 3 weeks. One Sunday afternoon I remembered them while I was watering my roses.  Went to work the next day and asked her asst if she’d ever said anything about her cigs.  OMG, this woman reported the “theft” to security.  So, I had to go to security and our boss and tell them what happened.  Then we went   and found the cigs, where I hid them.  I don’t screw with people anymore. Even as a joke.  

  • Anonymous

    I think I know you. LOL. Impressed that you didn’t get caught. I took my Grandfather’s patrol car once. Wouldn’t have gotten caught except for my stupid ass cousin insisting I turn the siren on.

  • Anonymous

    He had some big balls to take on that bet.

    But now he has crushed grapes and will wine about the forthcoming medical bills.

  • Anonymous

    That is awesome! I was tempted one time to take a patrol car that the cop was out of, door hanging open, keys in the ignition, engine running….I almost passed out from the adrenaline rush just *thinking* about it…It would not have been good if I took it, lol! You think you know me, for real? or know someone like me?

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_GZO7NJALDY5TMYWW54O3DD5KJA Karebu72

    I don’t think they are poisonous….when my cat was a kitten, he managed to slip out the door unseen one night and must have filled up on lightening bugs. When I brought him back inside, he threw up at least four piles of glow-in-the-dark vomit. Due to the amount of fire-flies he at and the size of his small body, if they were poisonous, I imagine he would have been a lot sicker and need to go to the vet.  After he threw up everything in his stomach, he wanted food, ate it and kept it down.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_GZO7NJALDY5TMYWW54O3DD5KJA Karebu72

    Really?  When my cat was a kitten, he snuck out the door and must have filled up on fireflies before I discovered he was missing.  I was amazed at the amount of fireflies he vomited all over the floor…after he vomited them, he wanted his supper, ate it, and seemed none worst for the wear. I called the vet when they opened the following morning. He said as long as Courage was  acting like his normal self and eating, not to worry about it. 

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

    I looked it up and a lot of animals have died from eating firefly’s;apparently zoos are concerned because a bunch of those animals were exotic. 

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

    You don’t happen to still have some of that old porn laying around somewhere do you ? I fancy myself an amateur video judge, and I would like the opportunity to rate your work.

  • Anonymous

    I was just kidding about knowing you but I definitely have a friend like you.  She lives in Kentucky with 4 step children, and you have a few other things in common.  She doesn’t have a brother though, just a sister.  She is wild like that and made her own porn too.  Town she lives in is so small that her dad even got a hold of a copy of her porn debut. We laughed our asses off about that.  She has a strange fetish….she loves to lick eyeballs.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

    You were just crazy – that is all.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

    Good thing he threw that mess up, or you may have had a dead cat.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

    Ask her if I can get a copy of her work to rate.

  • Anonymous

    I’ll do it.  I am sure she still has it. 

    You know one thing I have always wanted to do….to drive through a police barricade.  Of course I don’t want to die doing it but I could totally get a rush fantasizing about it.  Annagg and I don’t need to get together.  Ever.

  • Anonymous

    That is so cute! I can imagine little kitty frolicking in the grass, swiping and batting at fireflies, practicing his pounce. I almost want a kitty, too bad they grow up to be cats! Then they OWN you.

  • Anonymous

    I drove on the wrong side of cones last night. It was 3 am and the new side of the road looked so smooth. It was nice ;-)

  • Anonymous

    LMAO. I can’t reply below but….I am so jealous!!  At my age I shouldn’t even be thinking about such things.  

  • Anonymous

    I will be 32 in 2 months…I think that is WHY I did did, lol.

  • Anonymous

     An insects shit is just grass and pollen and such. No biggie.

  • Anonymous

    Oh, so maybe that explains my thrill seeking desires….age.

  • Anonymous

    It sucks to start getting old, but better than dying young, I suppose.

  • Anonymous

    Hey, I have heard of that fetish, I joke about it all the time with my husband. We pretend to be totally into it and fall all over ourselves laughing.

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  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ABXDJDNKUCHMI2TQDRWBJDQAMI Ultraman

    Hmmmm. Somehow I have a suspicious that copious amounts of alcohol was involved!

  • Anonymous

    Goose poop is just wet grass. I am sure it is full of veggie vitamins.

  • Anonymous

    Have you ever read the book A thousand things to do with a dad cat. Are you familiar with a sail cat?

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