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Vallejo, CA — No crime was committed in this story, but the visuals had me laughing my ass off this morning.

A 21-year-old was in Blue Rock Springs Park Friday night with friends when he bet $100 he could fit his ass into a child’s swing. You know, the plastic ones made for toddlers that are equipped with leg holes.

The man lubed himself up with some laundry detergent and successfully squeezed himself into the swing, winning the $100. Unfortunately, his winning will barely cover the costs of having to be rescued by Vallejo fighters. See, the man got stuck in the swing. Even worse, the man has douchebag friends who did what I would have done when they left him stuck in the swing.

He would not be found until 9 hours later after a park employee arrived and called police upon hearing the man’s screams for help. Ok, up to this point the story is kind of humorous to me. But what happened next is the hilarious part.

When responding firefighters arrived, the first thing they did was to cut the chains holding the swing’s seat. They then transported the man to the hospital, still wearing the swing. I swear I laugh every time I think about this guy doing a shuffle-walk while wearing a bright kid’s swing like a large, plastic diaper.

The man was transported to the hospital where firefighters used a cast cutter to remove the swing. While reports are that he suffered non-life threatening injuries, I am sure the same can not be said about the man’s pride and dignity.

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Anyone else ever pull something dumb like this on a dare? The stupidest one I can remember is jumping a ramp with a friend’s sister’s bike complete with a front basket and a bell on the handlebars. I remember ringing the bell when I got air, then that’s about it. I still have a scar on my leg from that one.

BTW, if you are work, make sure your Safe Search is on if you ever plan on searching for “adult in swing.” I haven’t cleared a search history that fast since the time I searched for the seemingly innocent “bed intruder album cover.”

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