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Man Accused Of Repeatedly Pooping On Classroom Stoop

October 11, 2011 at 4:13 am by  

Kenneth Sarsony Man Accused Of Repeatedly Pooping On Classroom Stoop Ocala, FL — Police have arrested a man who they believe has defecated on the stoop of a portable middle school classroom at least five times since early September. Rest easy tonight, Floridians…

The care packages began showing up outside the door of classroom 469 at Fort King Middle School on September 6th. On that day, he simply left behind a pile of poo. On his subsequent visits, Sept. 14, Sept. 19 and Sept. 27, the man not only left behind a pile of feces, but handwritten notes, too. On at least one occasion, a woman’s thong accompanied the steaming pile of excrement.

After the fourth incident, law enforcement officials set up a surveillance camera. The serial pooper did not disappoint.

Surveillance video shows a clean-cut white male approach the stoop at about 4:32 a.m. on Oct. 7. The man, armed with a roll of toilet paper, appeared to be a little spooked and left the area about three minutes later without making a deposit. But wait! What’s this? He reappears about a minute later and gets down to business, leaving behind a pile of crap and some sort of pamphlet. The video shows him leaving the area at about 4:41 a.m.

The suspect, 23-year-old Kenneth Sarsony, was busted at his place of employment just hours after police went public with the surveillance stills.

When questioned, Sarsony admitted to shitting on the stoop, telling police he did so because he was in “bad spirits.” Sarsony also reportedly stated he needs help…and maybe a little more fiber in his diet. He was booked into jail early Saturday morning, charged with five counts of trespassing on school property. Bond was set at $2,500 for each count. He was released just hours later.

Officials have not yet released the notes, saying the investigation is ongoing. Dammit.

After watching the attached video, which, by the way, may not be safe for work, I gotta ask – who the hell poops standing up? And while I can appreciate the little jiggle to loosen up any possible dingleberries, pooping while standing is just, I don’t know…weird? Oh, and I could just be imagining it, but it appears as if he is also pulling his pud a little about 10 seconds in. Issues…he got ‘em.

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56 Comments

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  • Siobhan

    “Rest easy tonight, Floridians…”

    Hallelujah!
    No more sleepless nights up worrying and watching for trespassing stoop poopers. O.o
    I knew this wasn’t Pete Puma’s handy work (or would that be “assy work”?), due to the lack of multiple splooge stains on the pooped stoop, but I must admit the thong panties had me wondering…

    Stay cl-assy Ocala!

  • malq

    I have never understood scat play in any form.
     Well, I crapped in my neighbors yard many years ago.
    But…That’s different.  I was paying him back for his incredible crapping dog who finally died right when I moved.  I know he got the message because he scooped it up with the shovel and left it on my driveway. Ain’t that a bitch.

  • http://justiceforcaylee.synthasite.com/ shyloh

    I swear people like that scream “Catch me if you can” Then when they get caught it’s like “OHSHIT”  Didn’t this dude have a clue that there are cameras in schools. Well there should be in this day and age anyway.

  • Anonymous

    What a strange little shithead.

    I personally take pinching a loaf as a period of tranquility, peace and relaxation.
    A time to reflect on the simpilar things in life, without care or concerns.
    Revisiting memories long surpressed by the hectic churn of day to day living.
    A few pleasurable moments to dump my worries away and flush into oblivion.
    Sure, the paperwork can be uninteresting. But the bottom end is; contentness.

    Ok, enough of that crap.

    Making dod-doo, standing up, at 4:41 in the morning, on school property, fearing capture, is far to stressful and just down right facetious feces!

  • malq

    http://www.facebook.com/people/Kenneth-S-Sarsony/100002728455360#!/people/Kenneth-S-Sarsony/100002728455360?sk=friends

    He looks like a normal guy on his Facebook. 
    Definitely some miniflappage going on there as well ten to 20 sec’s. How embarrassed can a human be? Uhh, this much.

  • http://tothechest.com Pete Puma

    Oh, lord…I can’t even crap when I’m on vacation, let alone on a school stoop before the sun comes up.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

    Well Pete that’s because you are not a vampire, or a werewolf … but they say that freaks come out at night – so I don’t know Pete …

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

    “Ain’t that a bitch.” Yep,sounds like it.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

    Friends (6) – I don’t consider that to be “normal.”

  • Anonymous

    6 friends lol .. oh my how funny this is..and yes i saw some extra curicular activity going on there…seriously who rubs one out while pooping?

  • Anonymous

    Well he just hasn’t added me yet.

  • Anonymous

    ooh i just saw the facebook and he is from jersey..figures..fucking shithead

  • Anonymous

    I’m in pretty bad spirits right now, too. I’ve just been drinking and smoking a lot of weed. Obviously I should be trying a different tactic…

    I hated middle school anyway, wouldn’t mind going back and pooping on it.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

    LOL.

  • Anonymous

    “Officials have not yet released the notes, saying the investigation is ongoing. Dammit.”

    No!!! The contents of that pamphlet will haunt me now. I must know what this lonely night pooper’s manifesto is.

  • Anonymous

    If he’s done it that many times, does that make him a serial shitter?

    I don’t get why he decides to do it at a school in the wee hours of the morning like that.  Well, anytime, actually.  Why a school? Was he bullied as a kid at the school and they did nothing to help him? Was he pissed b/c of something that happened with his kid at the school?

    Oh, never mind.  If he only has 6 friends on FB, there is no explanation.  He needs a new obsession, like social media or something, instead of shitting at a school. 

  • CT

    He is really working it hard to get that bad boy out.  I knew better than to watch that video, but damn it I did anyway. All of a sudden I have the urge to go to the beach and poop. Wonder why?

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

    Glad I’m not him … it’s not like he’s on video rescuing kittens or something … dudes got toilet paper in his hand his little dicky is exposed and he’s taking a dump.And to top it off – it’s clear video,not the usual crappy footage.How embarrasing … he should just shot himself in the head now.

  • Anonymous

    Right?  I am really disappointed that the contents of the notes were not released -All I could think of while reading the story is ‘I wonder what the notes said.” 

  • Anonymous

     I think the rule of thumb is after anything more than 3 random shits on a stoop makes you a serial shitter . . .

  • Anonymous

    ewe! It could be worse, the video could show him pllaying with the poo poo and then eating it.*gag*

  • Wicked Smilee

    I put up mirrors that covered one wall in my bathroom.  Big mistake.  I caught the expression I made during a crap session, and it scared the shit outta me.  Never used the downstairs bathroom again! 

    Good gawd, how do people crap without making fukt up faces?  And do it standing up!?  Outside?!!  wtf?!

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

    Your imagination is running wild … lol.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

     Zen training can help you with that issue.

  • Anonymous

    It looks like he got issues and tissues.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

    I remember when I was about 4 years old; I was at home walking around, happily
    eating a bag of chips.I wondered into my parent’s room, and was so engrossed in
    those chips that I didn’t focus on my Dad much at all. I knew that he was in the
    bathroom – because he had the door open … but those chips were just so damned
    good that my brain wasn’t thinking about him. I was having what could best be
    called a happy moment,and being lost inside that happy moment took me right to
    the open bathroom door;where I was still lost inside Chip Land. All of a sudden my
    Dad’s voice says “You just eating away; and I’m sitting right here shitting.” I looked
    at the potato chip that I was holding in my hand about to eat, then I looked at my
    Dad sitting there smiling at my sudden displeasure – all of a sudden I was not
    hungry anymore.I remember walking off, with my Dad still smiling behind me.
    My father never seemed to like for me to be happy; he always shit on my parade.

  • Anonymous

    And while I hate Ana Julia Bermiss (my 8th – 12th grade science teacher) & I’d love to do this in HER MOUTH for being such a horrid bitch, I managed to keep my shitting in the toilet & my panties in my drawer.

  • Sam

    Wait… you went to high school commando? :)

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

    We are all living,breathing serial shitters … the guy in the above article differs though because he has a specialty – he is a Serial School Stoop Shitter;now try saying that 3 times fast.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_5WYTW5UWWTGEKN4L2HBZ7I4E5E Zazen

    I think Super-duper Stoop Pooper has more of a ring to it.

  • Anonymous

    No shit, lol! no pun intended, but I just got back from vacation, 4 days, and that’s the first thing I did when i got home.

  • Anonymous

    The note read:

    I was here
    but now im gone
    I left this turd to carry on
    those who like it 
    like it well
    and all the rest can go to hell…….

  • Reen B

    I was thinking that too…Damn, they had no surveillance cameras until the fourth “deposit”?? What school doesn’t have cameras at each entrance these days?

  • Hekate

    not sure which is funnier… his nervous glancing about or the shake at the end…   well hope he enjoys his 15 minutes of fame!

  • Anonymous

    LMAO @ care packages-good one Jaded!

    What’s with the woman’s thong?? Is he trying to leave a message? Or frame someone?
    They can get DNA off the written notes. One has only to touch something to get it. I don’t know if the cops deem this serious enough for a DNA test but most citizens, parents and kids would-being that this occurred at a school. These things can escalate into bigger issues, besides it’s UNHEALTHY as hell, kiddies bringing this shit into their homes on their shoes.

  • Anonymous

    HELL NO! Although it was freaking hot enough in the summer to consider it.

    I meant that this dude’s resentment towards school is finally being let out now.And now that I have the opportunity to do so, I won’t.

    Plus I know she’s still a fat fugly hambeast & the best part is that not even her imaginary boyfriend she kept telling us about wants to marry her dirty fucking ass.

    Once an old maid always a fucking hambeast.

  • Anonymous

    Aww, Thats a sad boo boo story Ced :(

  • Anonymous

    *gives Cedric a can of pringles* Happy thoughts, dude.

  • Anonymous

    This would seem to be his dad’s FB profile, I’m guessing. Graduating from high school in ’78 would put him in the 51 year old range. The kid seated must be the 23 year old pooper. The FB profile belongs to Kenneth S Sarsony. The pooper is Kenneth M Sarsony.

    You can see Kenneth M’s photo here (looking very much like the guy seated in that FB profile):
    http://blogs.browardpalmbeach.com/pulp/2011/10/kenneth_martin_sarsony_poop_middle_school.php

  • http://twitter.com/SmileyVirus11 Smiley Virus

    A ha ha ha ha ha!!!

  • http://twitter.com/SmileyVirus11 Smiley Virus

    This facebook must be his dad’s same name but the guy is older. The younger man in the picture might be him.
    http://www.facebook.com/people/Kenneth-S-Sarsony/100002728455360?sk=info

  • http://twitter.com/SmileyVirus11 Smiley Virus

    Pooper sitting down on left.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

    Yep – that’s the nasty Bastard.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

    “These things can escalate into bigger issues” I agree – next he might start pissing all over the place too – or start bringing a chair with a big hole cut out in the middle, and a newspaper,or porn mag … 

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

     Thank you.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

     LOL.

  • http://truecrimereport.com iLLusionS

    LOL! This morning I had to run in the grocery store for bread…when I passed the frozen food section I had to do a double take because I saw three turds in the middle of the lane…………turned out to be 3 frozen sausages….. 
    Anyhow this is pretty gross…sounds like someone needs some help…and a baggie….. 

  • LeaveMeBe

    Haha! Charged with trespassing? I can’t wait to use that one. “I’ll be right back gang, I gotta go trespass.”

  • LeaveMeBe

    This must totally be a guy thing. My husband and son say they can poop no where but home.

  • LeaveMeBe

    Oh, this is crappy footage alright, it’s just amazingly clear.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1149551868 Elisabeth Christensen Morris

    Not a guy thing. I can’t go anywhere but at home and not when anyone’s in the house lol.

  • Wicked Smilee

    ahhh, to crap zen…  like gandhi did after 1 bean a day.

  • Anonymous

    okay, the shitting and wanking thing is just…well I have no words for it.
    Would this make him a mastershitbator?

  • BooBooKittyFuck

    OMG…this totally reminded me of when I used to work at this one department store back in the day…I was doing go backs, taking shit from the fitting room back onto the floor, and I get to the Juniors and Dress aisles and their is shit smeared all throughout both aisles, turds all over and shit on some of the clothes…It was so disgusting and a total WTF moment…there were kids running wild not being watched by their mothers in those aisles before and someone said maybe it was a dog…we never found out, but I think it was one of the kids that did it…nasty as hell…

  • Anonymous

    lmaoooo when I was in combat medic school, someone kept shitting on the floor in the showers! To this day, I only have one question; WHY?????????????????

  • Anonymous

    just when you thought you’d seen it all; this nerdy standing shit-dragon comes along and so eloquently deficates in front of your mobile classroom.

    :sigh: