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Man Choked To Death Over Pack Of Crackers

October 10, 2011 at 2:54 pm by  

Man Choked To Death Over Pack Of CrackersLEE COUNTY, Va. – My daddy always told me there are only a few things in life worth killin’ fer; your freedom, your family and your goddamn crackers.

Louis Lindsey, 50, must have felt the same way as my daddy, ’cause he got himself arrested and charged with murderin’ 40-year-old Emery Freeman after fighting over a pack of ‘em.

Police found ol’ Lindsey on the side of the road lookin’ a little busted up and asked him the what fer. Lindsey told ‘em he’d been in a scrape with Freeman over yonder a ways.

Police checked out Lindsey’s story and found poor Freeman on the back porch, deader than a beaver hat. Lindsey tolt ‘em he choked Freeman after gettin’ into it over a pack of delicious crackers.

After gettin’ himself nussed up at the hospital, Lindsey was put in the county jail.

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31 Comments

    Comments


    V2 Cigs electronic cigarettes - Break Free From The Pack!

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    • Hekate

      Must have been Ritz!  those are worth a dust-up!

    • guillotinegirl

      I had no idea white people were available for purchase in bulk.

    • reapre

      You beat me too it.  I’m kinda jealous though, no ones killed anyone over my deliciousness :( .

    • Anonymous

      Crackers, say “cheese’ and whine. (DISCALIMER…this is not the racial “cracker” being referenced. It’s the delicious crunchy kind that is implied).

      I had an argument once with a girlfriend about eating crackers in bed….she didn’t understand why I named my junk “crackers”.

    • reapre

      I tell you what though, if I have a bowl of some delicious clam chowder in front of me, and you take one of my 2 little packets of saltines they give you at Skipper’s, you may get shanked repeatedly with my chowder spoon.

      That shit’s like gold there.

    • Anonymous

      Morbid, Love that you pulled out the southern accent for this one ;)

    • Anonymous

      Luvs me some Nusses and Nabs.

    • Anonymous

      that  Louis, he’s just crackers for crackers.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Trisha-Doran/1055147616 Trisha Doran

      Giggle – guess you wouldn’t kick her out of bed, huh?

    • Jemimabean

      *YAHTZEE!* Fuck, I win!- whoops, wrong game.

    • Anonymous

      Hi Lauren, long time lurker on this site, I recognised you straight away when you mentioned ET (far right asshole one) in a post.

      Nice to bump into you on the internetz.

    • Anonymous

      BINGO…

    • Reen B

      Cheezitz Christ!!!

    • Anonymous

      I have no idea what either of those things are.

    • LeaveMeBe

      Not sure I want to know…

    • LeaveMeBe

      Must’ve been the cream cheese and chive flavor because those are the only ones worth killin’ for.

    • Anonymous

      What? You are clearly crazy. The had to have been Tomato & Olive Oil Triscuits.

    • Anonymous

      If those were Premium Plus crackers then……yeah!!

    • Anonymous

      Am I the only one who noticed that it it looks like he’s going to sprout a horn at any moment?

    • http://twitter.com/AngelsMom0806 Angels Mom

      If you read my comment in the other “cracker” story Ritz choke the hell out of people…not the other way around. 

    • http://twitter.com/AngelsMom0806 Angels Mom

      If that’s you in the pic I might choke a few people for you. ;-)

    • http://twitter.com/AngelsMom0806 Angels Mom

      I just kept hearing my family members from Black Mountain, NC when I was reading this. Suddenly I have a hankerin’ for crawdads.

    • http://justiceforcaylee.synthasite.com/ shyloh

      SORRY all of you are wrong. It was “ANIMAL” crackers. Someone wanted the monkey!

    • Anonymous

      Good God, lets hope it was at least cheese nips…

    • Anonymous

      Lmao

    • Anonymous

      Nusses = Nurses
      Nabs = Nikot Peanut Butter Crackers

    • Anonymous

      Chris Rock: “Cracker ass, cracker!”

      I’m not a big fan of crackers in general but when my daughter was born all I could “cook” for dinner was Soda crackers & cheddar cheese.

      We sat & ate this quite a few times while watching Mike Holmes.

    • reapre

      Sorry hun, pics like 5 years old in my drill and kill days.  Weighed 180 there, 210 now.  Don’t have a 6-er anymore, but I do have a keg for the house party ;) .

    • Anonymous

      Definitely one that needs to be read aloud. I did, my boyfriend was cracking up.

      Then we tussled over the last sleeve of Ritz.

    • http://www.facebook.com/rachel.a.prince Rachel Ann Prince

      I’d shank someone for a pack of them  Doritos crackers. They are like crack lol

    • Jemimabean

      I see we’re all migrating! It’s a good thing, I miss Max but damn, I need to vent about crazy people! How are you doing girl?