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Sex Offender Arrested Outside Jewish Community Center With Pants DownWest Hartford, CT - Four days after being let out of jail, a man on Connecticut’s sex offender list was arrested for getting high on spray paint and actin’  a fool.

Around 9am on Monday, 37-year-old Alexander Robles was outside the Jewish Community Center in Hartford with silver paint on his face.  Allegedly, he was knocking on car windows, pulling door handles and yelling at people. Other witnesses say he was standing with his pants pulled down. Police found him with two cans of spray paint in a plastic bag.

“He was not in a good frame of mind,” said Lt Jeremy Clark, which is funny to me since, when I get high on paint, I  generally carry on an aggressive yet civil debate on the intricacies of global politics while baking scones as part of my volunteer work with the elderly.

A nearby daycare was put on lock-down since they hadn’t booked ‘Skippy the Pickle-Swinging Clown’ that day. Robles told arresting officers he didn’t know how he ended up in the parking lot and was simply trying to ask for a ride. I won’t question his intentions; maybe he really was asking for a ride, but the noises that likely came out of him could have easily sounded like he was looking for children to eat.

Robles was on probation at the time of the arrest, which came just four days after he finished his time for a previous probation violation, which, so on and so forth, stems from a 2002 case involving burglary and sexual assault. This wasn’t his first inhalant-related arrest, either. Robles was picked up at a video store in 1999, harassing customers while high on paint.

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  • http://profiles.google.com/coldlogic HAL 9000

    Dude high on paint hitting up a Jewish Center with his pants down? Can you say ‘FUCKING AWESOME!’ I was all having a bad day at work and now I can’t stop laughing! I love the Demon!

  • http://www.facebook.com/rachel.a.prince Rachel Ann Prince

    Looking like a fool with your pants on the ground!
    Some people just never learn I guess. Only four days out of jail and he’s already fucking going back.

  • CT

    I’m so disappointed in the spray paint cans explanation.  I was really hope that he was going to say that he was going to use the paint to fancy up his balls in order to make them more enticing or something along those lines.  Huffing, been there, done that. 

  • Anonymous

    Wheres Jaded in all this?

  • Anonymous

    Yuk! Sounds like someone needs more then just jail time.

  • Anonymous

    Huff the Magic Dragon…..
    I guess he got so used to his pants around his ankles while in prison he forgot where he was.

  • Anonymous

    His face is all mushed up in the center of his head. He kinda looks like the evil gingerbread man from that dumb horror flick I can’t remember the name of.

  • LeaveMeBe

    Ahhhh Knoxxxious. I love your stories. They make me laugh so hard I cry. Can I keep you as my pet?

  • LeaveMeBe

    Pants on the ground, pants on the ground. Lookin like a fool wit your pants on the ground!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Trisha-Doran/1055147616 Trisha Doran

    Amen brother, AMEN!

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_5WYTW5UWWTGEKN4L2HBZ7I4E5E Zazen

    I dunno, I was just thinking that’s one helluva way to kick off Yom Kippur.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_PKSJ42VBXNAFJLOH54Y3K4KTXU Heather Habilatory

    I do not get huffing paint. I use spray paint a lot in home decor and arts and crafts and stuff, and I don’t like the feeling it gives me. Mostly headachey. Why intentionally make yourself feel like a bag of ass?

  • Hekate

    i’ll huff and i’ll huff aaaaaand i’ll blooooooooooooooooooooooow your synagogue doooooooooooown!!

  • http://twitter.com/Q_Jordon Quintin Jordon

    Alexander Robles, allegedly, was knocking on car windows, pulling door handles and yelling at people, “I need a circumcision. Where the fuck can I get a cheap circumcision?” Other witnesses say he was standing with his pants down and pulling on his burrito, showing the length of his foreskin.

  • Anonymous

    Get in line. I saw him first! Plus I hear he does some nose thing…

  • Anonymous

    Still don’t understand the reason for getting high at all.

    I feel a song coming on.

    I’m finishing dinner, walking the dog, putting the kids to sleep & I AM WRITING THAT DAMNED SONG!

  • Anonymous

    One thing before the song:

    Is this what the latino version of the Pillsbury Dough boy supposed to look like? Did he go ghetto & got braids?

  • Anonymous

     
    “Easy” by Westlife (The Commodores’ cover)
     
    I was lonelyand I just got out the pen.
    Got my hair done & gone
    to buy some paint.
    Got to have a good time, man.
    You see I was locked up
    for some months, yeah.
     
    The paint was silver,
    and I knock on car doors.
    The paint was silver,
    and I knock on car doors.
     
    Went to see God,
    but I found the Jews instead.
    I guess they want to see what I got.
    The jewels of my crown and my staff jingles for them.
    I just want a ride to my uncle Bob’s.
    Tom’s?
     
    The paint was silver,
    & no one opens their doors.
    The paint was silver,
    & now I can see the cops.
     
    I wanna be high, so high.
    Because I am free
    and I can smoke weed.
    Parole kiss my ass!
    I’m so fucking free!
    Where’s the weed?

  • http://musclegrown.jigsy.com Darrell FIne

    HEY!! I thought I was the only one allowed to be called SKIPPY THE PICKLE SWINGING CLOWN…. dammit. Now I have to figure out a new stage name….

  • Anonymous

    2nd verse: Paint cans on da ground, paint cans on da ground…actin’ like a fool wit paint cans all around!

  • Anonymous

    Fancy Balls! That made me giggle. Maybe guys should wax those things and coat them with glitter.

  • Anonymous

    I find Rustoleum to be the best spray paint high.  It quickly dulls reality and leads to a pleasant and nearly comatose state that is excellent for social situations.  Krylon is way too harsh; it sometimes causes vomiting at inappropriate moments (I once puked on a girl I was kissing after sharing a can of Vintage Metallic Copper).  Plasti-Kote is like near-beer; takes 2 full cans to achieve desired lethargy and I don’t recommend it unless trying to cut down on huffing…but really, who would want to stop bombarding their brain with caustic carcinogens?  

  • Anonymous

    ROFL!

  • Anonymous

    Silver bells, silver bells…it’s Christmastime in the city…oh no that’s not Jewish and it’s still Halloween time NEVER MIND.

  • http://profiles.google.com/coldlogic HAL 9000

    ‘Huff the Magic Dragon…’

    Hmmmm, it needs something. Aha!

    ‘Huff the Magic Krylon…’

    Peter Paul and Mary need to write that diddy.

  • Anonymous

    From the picture looks like a middle aged housekeeper…

  • pikeman

    I wonder if he spray painted his junk with silver too. I could just see some Jewish kid walking by.

    “Look, Mommy, it’s the Silver Surfer and he’s naked and even his wiener is silver. It looks like he needs a bris done to him, though. Can I keep his silver foreskin? Please, Mommy?!”

  • pikeman

    Apparently, there was no Rabbi around to perform a brit milah on him. 

  • LeaveMeBe

    I think we might be onto something here BD. Maybe we should try out for X Factor or American Idol.

  • Siobhan

    It’s just “Peter & Paul” now, Hal. Mary died in 2009 :/

  • LeaveMeBe

    Easy there PWB! I just wanted him as a pet. But you can have him as your boy toy with the whole nose thing. Maybe you’ll let me talk him for a walk now and then? ;)

  • Anonymous

    Word.

  • Sam

    What! As if pubes in your teeth aren’t enough? Now why would i want to do anything sexual with glittery balls leaving a trail of bling everywhere?? :)