Police: Elderly Man Attacked Neighbor For “Staring At Him”

We criminally attractive people have grown used to this. I splash starers with the beaker of semen I carry with me at all times.

Well that’s a twist to marking of territory;)

Yep my neighbor threatened to call the law because my 3 year old girls was throwing rocks in the ditch that we didn’t dig.  The nerve of my twins.  I told her to call them.  Then they put her in a home and she broke another patients arm I am sure it was justified knowing her as well as I do,  Now she is in a maximum security rest home in her on little padded room

See how that works?

I’d say this is a big fat WTF-er but I’ve actually known of people who did this kind of stuff.  There used to be a neighbor across the street from my mother in law who I swear was dealing with undiagnosed Alzheimer’s or dementia or something.  Maybe it was all the booze.  She drank a bottle of whiskey every day (I swear it.  My MIL did her shopping for her sometimes and she’d have nothing but 7 bottles and 2 cartons of cigarettes on the list)  and smoked like a freight train. 

She used to sit out in her yard on a bench and say to every person who walked past or approached her, “What the fuck are you lookin at?”  When her husband was alive he sat with her and pinched all the woman’s asses after she asked them “WTF?”  I guess that was his way of making amends?

If I lived next door to the Kentucky Crypt Keeper I’d probably stare too.

Yo Pete – can I get a case of your semen ? I’m poor so it has to be free of charge.I think you have a great idea there,problem is that I could never get myself to waste “my” semen like you describe – my women would never allow that,but I could totally see myself hurling your semen at my haters.I can hear them now saying : “What tha … ? ” as the slimy liquid slides down the side of their heads. And me telling them ” That’s Pete Puma’s semen,you Prick !!!”

Careful they are definately double the trouble.  Twins put Parris Island to shame.  My oldest jumped off the back of the couch onto the cushion up in the air and landed on my stomach.  I let out a inadvertant yell and had a hernia that required surgery!  3000 dollars out of pocket later I learned a valuable lesson protect yourself at all times.  Don’t lay on said floor.

Just yesterday Samantha jumped off the Washing Machine from 5 foot away into my arms and kneed me in my jewels I yelled for 10 minutes while sitting in the recliner in mind numbing pain but I love her and would take nothing for her.

All that jumping off of stuff should not be allowed in the Corps;next time make em drop and give you twenty.

Sorry.  I don’t sell my semen by the case.  You’ll have to take it in a 50 gallon drum.

You know how dad’s break out the cigars when the baby is born? Someone should give the father a sports cup when the kid is born.

My daughter has plastic hollow golf clubs & she practices with her pitching wedge hitting daddy’s thingamagiggers.

My new neighbors on the renting side are quiet, reserved & by default nice. My other side neighbors are old, bad mouthed ex Air Force couple who own various guns, love my children & give me lots of tomatoes, fruits & keep my house if I’m on vacation.

As soon as they turn sick & nasty I’m calling the cops on them cause I love them but also CAUSE THEY HAVE GUNS!

Something very similar happened to me.  Someone thought I was staring at them, so they shouted at me to stop and shoved me.

..of course, I was in 1st grade at the time.

I guess he just had that cup of coffee handy.

LMFAO! My husband is always saying he is looking forward to being a grumpy and crochety old man. His plan is coming along fine. The kids and I are just waiting for him to get old so it’s not quite as embarassing.

The Neighbor staring at Mr. Handy just prior to the incident claims  – You know Mr. Handy, You look mighty fine in those bid overalls. And I bet you got some really good coffee there – with the cream floating on top.