Brownhelm Township, OH - Around 2 a.m. Monday morning, a man crashed a stolen semi into an adult store to swipe a $800 sex toy.
After the smash-and-grab, the perpetrator was found by police, still in the truck. The man successfully eluded capture after jumping out and fleeing the scene. He has likely had an awesome week seeing as the toy was no where to be found.
The toy itself is described as a ‘life-size masturbator’ with ‘legs, buttocks and female genitalia.’ Other selling points not included on the box are ‘will not make you go apple-picking on Sunday’ and ‘will not make discouraging comments about the size of your wallet and/or penis.’
It’s also not the first time this store has went through this. Last year, a man drove a car into their store and stole a similar, yet less expensive toy.
The following news report is easily one of the most unprofessional pieces of ‘journalism’ I have ever witnessed in my life. Aside from the hysterical and witty ‘sex drive’ graphic that looks like it was made by a Saved by the Bell fan, you’ll notice that bloated douche, Harry Boomer, stoops to name-calling almost immediately and continues relentlessly throughout the story.
This is a propagandized perpetuation of a painful double-standard. While it is accepted and even expected for a woman to own a vibrator or dildo, there’s something wrong with any man who owns a Fleshlight or Belladonna’s Pocket Pussy.
The man is a criminal because he stole, sure, but labeling him as a pervert is no more accurate than claiming that a man who stole food has an eating disorder.Tags: Crime, Ohio, Robbery, Sex Toy, Theft