Chilliwack – As you can imagine, we get a lot of spam. So when I saw someone had used our Contact Form with the subject “jacking off to me” I figured someone had gotten through our spam filter. Since I am a sucker for a “jacking off to me” subject line, I checked it out.
Surprisingly, it was actually from one of our Canadian fans. They told a quick story about waking up to find a man standing in her room jacking off while staring at her. When she inquired as to why he was masturbating while watching her sleep, he replied that he wanted to “cum on her face” before leaving out the back door.
At first I thought this person was just coming on to me with some sleepy-time facial erotica, but a day or so later she responded back with an actual news article of the incident. Since we love our fans, and Canadians, we felt it was our duty to post about them almost having a stranger cum on her face while she slept. It’s as creepy as it is mildly arousing.
Police in Chilliwack — a town with a name almost as kickass as Knockemstiff, Ohio or Goblintown, Virginia – need some help locating a man they say broke into a home and began masturbating next to a woman sleeping on a couch. The man fled the scene when the woman woke up and asked him what the hell he was doing.
He’s described as white, about 30 years old, with a possible goatee and wearing tan shorts. Anyone with information is asked to call police at 604-792-4611 or Crime Stoppers at 1-800-222-8477 (TIPS).
Tags: Burglary, Canada, Crime, masturbation
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