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Ukiah, CA - Clarence Christmas, 39, was arrested after police reportedly found him in the corner of a Curves Fitness Center, nude from the waist down, and masturbating.

Police were responding to a call from a Curves employee expressing how much they had not liked Christmas showing up unannounced and fapping his junk for all to see.

The Curves employee had originally told Christmas to leave or she would call police, but instead he grabbed her by the shoulder, police said.  According to police, Christmas ‘grabbed her buttocks’ when she turned away to get a phone to call police. He also is accused of touching a Curves patron while masturbating, police said.

You may be surprised to learn that this is not Chistimas’ first offense.  Christmas had been arrested in May 2010 when he was found without pants or underwear masturbating while watching a California Department of Corrections crew eradicating weeds and brush along the railroad tracks in Ukiah, police said.

For that incident, he was arrested for indecent exposure, possession of a methamphetamine smoking pipe and parole violation. Before you condemn him for that, please consider the hawtness of weed eradication as a mitigating factor.

Christmas is, in fact, still on parole.  For the Curves gig, he was arrested on suspicion of indecent exposure, sexual battery and another parole violation.

Police said anyone who encounters someone displaying bizarre sexual behavior or aggression should call police rather than approach the subject.  Good advice.

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  • http://twitter.com/Q_Jordon Quintin Jordon

    Guess what I am getting you for Christmas?

    Relax don’t do it When you want to go to
    it Relax don’t do it When you want to come
    Relax don’t do it. . . When
    you want to come. . .When you want to come. . .

  • http://twitter.com/Q_Jordon Quintin Jordon

    Guess what I am getting you for Christmas?

    Relax don’t do it When you want to go to
    it Relax don’t do it When you want to come
    Relax don’t do it. . . When
    you want to come. . .When you want to come. . .

  • Gee

    “watching a California Department of Corrections crew eradicating weeds and brush along the railroad tracks”

    I  always have to fight the urge to rub one out while driving the freeways in LA!

  • Gee

    “watching a California Department of Corrections crew eradicating weeds and brush along the railroad tracks”

    I  always have to fight the urge to rub one out while driving the freeways in LA!

  • Anonymous

    Was the crew a crew of females or a crew of males?

  • Anonymous

    Lighten up people! It’s the 21st century all ready! Duh!

  • Anonymous

    Well, what else was he supposed to do at a woman’s only gym?

    He should be commended for having the commitment to go totally pantless while doing it. None of that half-assed bullshit for him!

  • Anonymous

    “Ho ho hoes & bitches, come and workout on the Christmas yule log.”

    This guy gives those of us that just want to peep through holes in the wall a bad name.

  • Anonymous

    Butters Christmas has “something in my front pocket for yooooo… why don’t you reach on in my pocket and see what it is”…..*tap dances*  

  • Anonymous

    Christmas came early this year!

  • Gee

     does it matter with those orange jump suits…. LOL

  • Anonymous

    lol haha .. seriously what is wrong with people..and btw where were his pants? did he walk there pantsless or drive there? umm both times no pants mentioned

  • Anonymous

    He just went there with a bow tied on his candy cane.

  • Anonymous

    Well ask a straight man who advertises on Craigslist for a blow job from a female and a guy shows up. Yeah it matters. ;)

  • Gee

     Sounds like you have experience with this…

  • Anonymous

    Well well well…  It was only a matter of time before my home town showed up on here.  Never met this guy personally but I have seen him around.  Quite the creeper! 

  • Anonymous

    “suspicion of indecent exposure”.. really? Pants around the ankles only qualifies as suspicion?It’s one thing to get hot and heavy with your mate in public for the thrill of getting caught but when you are flying solo it is just creepy.

  • Anonymous

    Awww, c’mon, give the guy a break!  After all, Christmas only comes once a year… gotta make the best of it…  :)

  • Hekate

    ooooooh come all ye faithfuuuuuuuuuuuuul, joyful and triumphant!!!!

  • Pyncky

    “Police said anyone who encounters someone displaying bizarre sexual
    behavior or aggression should call police rather than approach the
    subject.  Good advice.”

    Yep, cuz that shit might put an eye out.

  • Anonymous

    Oh come ye Oh come ye to CurvesUkiah!

  • Hekate

    HAAHHAHAHAHAAHA!!!!

    there has to be a parody of the 12 days of christmas in here somewhere…..

  • Hekate

    HAAHHAHAHAHAAHA!!!!

    there has to be a parody of the 12 days of christmas in here somewhere…..

  • Anonymous

    Iam dreaming of a white Christmas…Chestnuts boasting on an open Gym, jackoff nipping at your toes…..

  • Anonymous

    ok, so I can be a little naive, can you really put that on Craiglist’s?  and seriously, did this happen and if so what did your little new friend who wanted to give you a happy ending do?

  • Anonymous

    Naughty girl you seen your present too early! Now I’m going to have to deck your halls with cheer. Oh and trust me it’s going to be a very white christmas.

  • Anonymous

    mmmm chocolate mint…  *swills mouthwash*

  • Anonymous

    Twelve 911 calls,
    Eleven panicked patrons,
    Ten fingers fapping,
    Nine ways to milk it,
    Eight maids a-screaming,
    Seven dumbbells hurl’d,
    Six minutes fleeing,
    Five angry cops,
    Four K-9 dogs,
    Three felonies,
    (only) Two inches “hard”,
    And a Christmas in a jail cell!

  • Anonymous

    Lmao too funny :P

  • Hekate

    KITTY!!!! you are the BEST!!!  ZOMG this is hilarious!!!!  
    gods i’m laughing so hard i fell outta my chair!!!

  • Hekate

    lol

  • Anonymous

    “You may be surprised to learn that this is not Chistimas’ first offense.”
     
    I lold. kniption wins The Internet today.

  • Anonymous

    I don`t kno why ya`ll gettin` up in his grill. It`s the best place to watch those old ladies & easy fat girls & choke the chicken.

    I know, I was in one trying to lose baby weight. They suck.

  • Anonymous

    I think I’ll forward it to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir….  :-D

  • Anonymous

    My little friend is not a friend. I read it in a gay publication (Metro Weekly? Blade? Advocate? not sure) about a guy stupid enough to do this and got beat up as a result.

    I personally think it was stupid. People do advertise for everything except for drugs on Craigslist. And I wouldn’t be turned on if a woman preformed any sex act on me or if I tried one on a woman. I assume this works the same for straight men. For bisexuals, all bets are off. ;)

  • shannie

    This guy is lucky that he didn’t get lumped up by women who resemble the “Omega Mu’s”.
    Tossing off at a ladies gym with no pants on like its his bedroom. I just want to know where these people come from and who the eff raised them?

  • Anonymous

    Lmao, good one kitty

  • http://www.facebook.com/rachel.a.prince Rachel Ann Prince

    I would beat the unholy hell out of this guy if I had caught his ass wanking off!

  • Anonymous

    You know if there we a masked vigilante out there that called him or her self The Peener Puncher we would hear alot less stories like this. I could only imagine the costume and gadgets.

  • Anonymous

    well ya know, Michelle Bachmann’s husband can take care of that “life-style choice” for you.  Just go in and see one of his therapist and he will be glad to tell you that men are SUPPOSED to like women’s parts and all…..BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    WHAT IDIOT’S THEY ARE!!!!   

    But thanks for answering my question.  Now off to put an ad on Craiglist for some hot sex!!  :)

  • LeaveMeBe

    I bet he was hoping they would mistake him for a piece of equipment and include him in the rotation.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_WUSPJ56WM63ZAO7MYQGILWWWPM aliceinchainsboy

    Wth//LMAo

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_WUSPJ56WM63ZAO7MYQGILWWWPM aliceinchainsboy

    Ukiah is full of whackerdoodles

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_WUSPJ56WM63ZAO7MYQGILWWWPM aliceinchainsboy

    I’ve done repair work in a Curves.. lol he had to be like the Flash..