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Drunk Driver Kills Five Amish

July 20, 2011 at 6:24 pm by  

Drunk Driver Kills Five AmishBenton, NY– 42 year-old Steven Eldridge is facing five counts of  criminally negligent homicide after he side-swiped a van, causing it to collide with the tractor he was impatiently (and illegally) trying to pass.

He’s also being charged with DUI, but that’s really a small turd in the huge pile of shit he landed himself in. According to reports, Eldridge attempted to pass a slow-driving tractor on a stretch of road where that exact thing is prohibited. Clearly demonstrating why it’s a good idea to obey traffic laws, Eldridge struck a van full of Amish farmers. The collision sent the van into the path of the tractor, resulting in this mess right here. While at first glance it looks like the results of one of the Transformers having had an abortion, you can clearly see one of the back doors of the van, which should help you make heads or tails of the accident. Apparently rescue crews were still trying to get people out four hours after the accident. Five  of the thirteen Amish farmers died, 10 other people were injured.

This isn’t the first time Eldridge has been in trouble with the law. Surprised? Me neither. In 2006 he was arrested for an incident that was infinitely more comical than this. During a traffic stop, Eldridge tried to back into the police cruiser, scuffled with the officer and made off with the police car. Police caught up to roughly 20 minutes later. He was handed 2 years time for his crime.

Apparently the Amish are allowed to use modern transportation if it’s driven by someone who isn’t Amish. They were on a tour of other farms in order to find more modern agricultural techniques they could utilize while still holding to the restrictions imposed by their religion, which basically outlaws anything fun, electrical or not conducive to the growing of epic beards. Something tells me the surviving members of their tribe will think twice about leaving their caves again.

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Comments


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  • AliceinChainsman =]

    ouch

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ZK3UXAGWBPO3AUVGHFRMK67W6U fn ln

    I hate drunk drivers so fucking much, I wish I could hate them to death…

  • Anonymous

    I was wondering how many horses it would take to pull a bus consisting of 13 amish. I guess cousine Hezekiah should have stayed behind because 13 amish seems pretty unlucky from the get go.

  • http://www.facebook.com/puggawugga Jackie Neumeier

    There are no excuses for drunk drivers, however I have no love for the amish either.  As a member of a dog rescue organization, I have dealt with the amish on several occasions.  I find them cold, cruel, and utterly inhumane.  Anyone that has dealt with them understand.  It brings me no joy to read this article.  I can not, however, state that it moves me.

  • Anonymous

    I’ve tried, it doesn’t work.

  • Anonymous

     No lulz even?

  • HotReadingMama

    Fuck that guy. I love Amish people. 

  • http://corncousinsqueezins.wordpress.com/ Wanna see my bozo baby?

    The Amish are good, god fearing people that like being left alone to their ways.
    Say goodbye Steve! Your going away and I’m not clownin’ around!

  • http://corncousinsqueezins.wordpress.com/ Wanna see my bozo baby?

    Looks like you got some nice boobs!

  • Anonymous

    My husband sometimes shaves his ‘stache & leaves the beard Amish style. Sexy but it still hurst when he muches on Rug Taco.

  • AliceinChainsman =]

    that link to the pic dont work.. :*/

  • AliceinChainsman =]

    work with us a little jackie

  • AliceinChainsman =]

    you got a neutron scanner there bozo? i cant zoom in that far

  • AliceinChainsman =]

    ?Tractor beats van every time..

  • Anonymous

    Which one?
     

  • Anonymous

    Yeah but what if he just quit munching ? Would you take the beard then.

  • Anonymous

    “[The amish] were on a tour of other farms in order to find more modern agricultural techniques…”
    Techniques that include PLOWING into a tractor?  Too soon?

    I wish the drunk was the only one that died. 

  • http://infowars.com Domino

    a slow moving tractor ………. wtf? guess they forgot to brake?

  • Anonymous

    Think about that for a second…

  • Hekate

    drunk drivers deserve their own special circle of hell… i have lost too many friends and loved ones to assholes like this dirtbag

  • AliceinChainsman =]

    this mess right here..  takes me to a google page

  • Anonymous

    No, actually, really I can’t. That wasn’t like me, and I’ll blame it on the heat.

  • Anonymous

    It’s been a long week already Knoxxxious, sorry about that.

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Jaded

    Works fine for me, AiC. 

  • Anonymous

    I get the Google page too

  • Anonymous

    Yeah I agree, I got that knock on the door just a little over 3 years now.

  • Anonymous

    That pic Is epic! Tractor> Van.

    Them able to ride in a van cuz a non Amish was driving would be like eating pork on Lent cuz someone else was holding the fork…

    I think…lol

  • Anonymous

     You’re probably having DNS issues. Or something

  • Anonymous

     Oh, I missed the Count? BUMMER

  • Miao Yu

    Drunk drivers are some of the most loathsome people on the planet.

  • Anonymous

    Awww…. on facebook you used more awesome words. Abhor and detest, I believe? 

  • http://www.facebook.com/rachel.a.prince Rachel Ann Prince

    Why don’t the asshole drunk drivers ever DIE?!?!?!?! Such an epic waste of space this douche hat is and I pray that I never have to lose a loved one to someone elses idiocy! Don’t drink and drive people its so much easier to just find someone sober to drive your ass around! Then again I think even sober this had a good chance of happening becoz this guy strikes me as the type who has the patience of a fucking two year old!

  • Anonymous

    Wow. Really? o.O

  • Anonymous

    I live in a rural area…where yeah, a tractor can and does cause traffic jams. Hey, I don’t mind at all. I love the country life. Fucking drunk ass piece of shit should have stayed the fuck home. Now he is alive and five decent fucking people are goddamn dead. Oh the insanity of it all. :)

  • AliceinChainsman =]

    weell said

  • AliceinChainsman =]

    undeed

  • Anonymous
  • AliceinChainsman =]

    it asks me to log in to my google account

  • AliceinChainsman =]

    i love it when it hurst//lol

  • AliceinChainsman =]

    hugs the wolfiy

  • AliceinChainsman =]

    Damn drunk drivers, makes me wonder why didnt the passengers notice?

    this guy was soo greedy that a  wait of a few minutes was too long, pull his nutz off with a Tractor, for a start of the agony he deserves..

  • Anonymous

    Let the amish bash his nuts in with a butter churn!

  • Anonymous

    I detest…drunk driving politicians are the worst…and pedos…rapists…oh the list would go on forever!

  • http://corncousinsqueezins.wordpress.com/ Wanna see my bozo baby?

    In prison the Amish Brootherhood will cut off his finger!

  • Anonymous

    The Lord works in mysterious ways. Apparently they’re having a Butter Festival in Heaven and they need some heavy duty churning done.

    That, or God needs himself a new barn.

  • Anonymous

    The Lord works in mysterious ways. Apparently they’re having a Butter Festival in Heaven and they need some heavy duty churning done.

    That, or God needs himself a new barn.

  • Anonymous

     thanks bud

  • AliceinChainsman =]

    Yea i understand, i have zero tolerance for english guys that say they have rockbands and like american girls..single dad at 35.

    also my fav cousin, she got killed back in 88 by a drunk driver,and one of my uncles in 83.

  • AliceinChainsman =]

    politicians saying SS is an entitlement are going to be flying from poles soon,then tractored..

  • AliceinChainsman =]

    hilarious mental pic..

  • AliceinChainsman =]

    /headdesk..

  • AliceinChainsman =]

    my votes on barn..

  • Hekate

    oh Mac i’m so sorry

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Frank-Walczak/503430455 Frank Walczak

    Rest in peace to the victims of one lousy excuse of a human being.

    Melvin Hershberger, 42
    Sarah Miller, 47
    Melvin Hostetler, 40
    Anna Mary Byler, 60
    Elizabeth Mast, 46

  • Anonymous

    I am so sorry Mac. Single mother at 27. I know it feels like having the wind knocked out of u for the rest of your life. *hug*.

  • Anonymous

    Oh, I can so totally relate to that.  That’s a very good way to put it, never thought of that…

  • Anonymous

    Oh God, Mackac, I am so sorry  :(  I haven’t had anything THAT bad happen, but enough that anyone selfish/stupid/assholish enough to drink and drive fills me with rage.

    *hugs*

  • Anonymous

    depends. Try to make love to a freaking cheese grater & see if you like it.

  • Count Rackula

    No shit! Guys, keep your facial hair under control, otherwise it really does feel like you’re just rubbing a fucking piece of meat with sandpaper all over it into our vaginas. And no, it does not give us pleasure.

  • Anonymous

    I call it The Tickler

  • Anonymous

    What’s the significance of the English Band-Guy thing?

  • http://twitter.com/AngelsMom0806 Angels Mom

    Nope, it hurts like heck and then your girly parts are sore the next day and not for the reasons that they should be.

  • http://twitter.com/AngelsMom0806 Angels Mom

    I may be wrong (nothing new) but I’m thinking that the floozy ran off with Spinal Tap and abandoned him and the child(ren).

  • http://twitter.com/Q_Jordon Quintin Jordon

    How many points are the Amish going for these days?  I liked jumping curbs and nailing elderly in wheelchairs, until I started realizing how much more fun it was to chase down people in their Hoverounds. Oh sure they are not as point accumulative as little crawling babies in a fenced-in yard, but watching them maneuver those motorized wheelchairs while in a panic attack always brings a smile to my face.

    * No Death Race 2000 flashbacks? Bummer.

  • Count Rackula

    I have a feeling you should be in big trouble right now… and I’m not sure why…

  • Count Rackula

    I have a feeling you should be in big trouble right now… and I’m not sure why…

  • LeaveMeBe

    *hugs*

  • LeaveMeBe

    *hugs*

  • Count Rackula

    I’m so sorry Mackie. :-( I don’t even know what to say…

    Hey Mack, you’re pretty awesome, you know that, right?

  • Count Rackula

    I’m so sorry Mackie. :-( I don’t even know what to say…

    Hey Mack, you’re pretty awesome, you know that, right?

  • AliceinChainsman =]

    that goes both ways..lol

  • AliceinChainsman =]

    field plow burn :)

  • AliceinChainsman =]

    she had this thing for england.. yet she was half irish.. he was ya know superior to me and her son, nothin like ditching your kid and 4 years of life for a chance to be a superstar/sit on his pole

  • Count Rackula

    Transformer babies have rights to life too! Life begins at the molding of the metal parts! …Or whatever the first step to making a fucking Transformer is…

  • Anonymous

     The first ten times I read that, I swore it said Aryan. Well played.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_PKSJ42VBXNAFJLOH54Y3K4KTXU Heather Habilatory

    I swear to God, I read “party parts” instead of girly parts. Obviously I need more sleep.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_PKSJ42VBXNAFJLOH54Y3K4KTXU Heather Habilatory

    Fuckin asshole. Drunken driving is so selfish. You don’t just accidentally get drunk. You know you’re going to drink. Get a damn DD… .who ISN’T 11 years old.

  • Anonymous

    You know, I don’t love the Amish – I think making kids choose between being Amish and never getting to see their families again is fucked up – but this guy is a goddamn piece of shit.

  • http://twitter.com/AngelsMom0806 Angels Mom

    A newborn will do that to you! She’s 6 weeks now right? I think you had her 2 weeks after mine was born.

  • Anonymous

    I use the two terms interchangeably when referring to my own.  ;-)

  • Anonymous

    Preach on, sister!!

  • AliceinChainsman =]

    go watch movie number 2 over..lol

  • AliceinChainsman =]

    she coulda done better than this asshole

  • Anonymous

    Thanks Count.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_PKSJ42VBXNAFJLOH54Y3K4KTXU Heather Habilatory

    Yup. Six weeks today (Friday here already.) And I had a boy.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_PKSJ42VBXNAFJLOH54Y3K4KTXU Heather Habilatory

    Yup. Six weeks today (Friday here already.) And I had a boy.

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