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Indianapolis, IN — A man caught fappin’ in the ladies’ room at an Indianapolis WalMart reportedly told store security he “had a sex problem” and went into the bathroom “to look at the women” while masturbating.

20-year-old Brandon Jelks was busted after a woman visiting the facility told a store employee she believed there was a man in one of the stalls. The employee then peered under one of the stall doors and spotted a pair of blue patterned boxers around the ankles of what appeared to be a man’s shoes. In addition, the woman reported hearing some moaning noises and the sound of someone masturbating. She asked another associate to confirm that the sounds were, indeed, fappish in nature. The second associate confirmed the first associate’s suspicions and alerted store security.

Enter store security…an off-duty police officer. She, too, heard the moanin’ and fappin’ and noticed the boxer laden ankles behind the stall door. She peeked through a crack in the door and could see a male sitting on the toilet, but couldn’t tell exactly what said male was up to in there. A few minutes later, Jelks exited the stall with his fly open. The officer said Jelks appeared to be startled to find an audience and immediately gave the old “Ooooh, is this the ladies room? My bad!” excuse. Though the officer claimed Jelks neither flushed nor washed, he was placed in handcuffs and marched to the loss prevention office.

Upon entering the office, Jelks was immediately recognized by yet another associate. That associate claimed Jelks had been banned from his church after allegedly “touching a little girl” inappropriately.

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While conducting a search of Jelks’ person, the off-duty officer discovered two boxes of condoms – one had been opened and was missing a couple sheaths. Jelks explained that he had used them to help him masturbate. When asked if he had purchased the condoms, Jelks admitted he had not. He then went on to tell the officer that he had entered the restroom to look at the women while he was masturbating. He also stated that he was viewing porn on his cell phone at the same time. The man with the mad multi-tasking skills then said he had a “sex problem” and needed help.

Jelks is now beatin’ it behind bars – he was charged with criminal trespass and public indecency. Because of the low dollar amount of the condoms, he was not charged with theft.

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  • I can always tell when I’m in the ladies’ room by the distinct lack of glory holes.

  • Anonymous

    WTF was he supposed to masturbate since being banned from church? Damn… a little compassion please.

    Good to know that if I steal condoms from a Walmart I won’t be charged with theft!

  • Anonymous

    First off I’ve seen uglier mofos here that get some pus. I see no reason why this dude should be jerkin’ d gerkin’ in a stall in walmart.

    Second, ugh! Walmart bathrooms are in the same level as fastfood restrooms.  I was pregnant with my daughter & was going to pee in Walmart (I know, I know I wanted to die!) & I got to the bathroom & felt incredibly hot & nauseated. I was gonna faint, so I did what any person would do. Took my coat off, laid it on the floor & sat down. In a Walmart Bathroom. Thank God it was the day of the month where someone was paid to clean the floors.

    Third: He looks like he’s 36, not freaking 20. That’s some hard 20’s right there. At least he didn’t shoot a kid or had a Pitbull that bit anyone. If he did indeed touch that little girl, his little cute pucker’s gonna be plugged & torn to pieces by Silverbacks. I hope they pass him around.

  • lmao @ his mugshot. I can hear him saying “oooh you nauuughty, huh?” in my head. Fucking freak.

    And WHO jerks off to women in the Wal-Mart bathroom? Have you seen the people that go to Wal-mart? yeeesh

  • Gee

    “She asked another associate to confirm that the sounds were, indeed, fappish in nature.”

    LMAO… I like to act is if I don’t know what that sounds like but…..  too funny

  • Anonymous

    Geez! the guy sounds desperate.I hope he was not waiting for a lone child to ernter the bathroom.

  • Well that is the last time I go into a Wal-Mart women’s bathroom – those puritans. Where else but the low place dive called Wally’s World can one go now? And for Jimeny Crickets, he used condoms, which should count for something. The nerve of those ASSociates.

  • Anonymous

    Condoms cheap? Since when! Or they just hide the cheap ones at my Wally world!

  • He should just went to a local park outhouse.At least he’d got a nobby from some old queer. Now he’s wackin’ in da joint!

  • AliceinChainsman =]

    in Indiana they wok yo asss hard fo sho’

  • AliceinChainsman =]

    in Indiana they wok yo asss hard fo sho’

  • AliceinChainsman =]

    Maybe you should write him in da county and outline how that works for him..

  • AliceinChainsman =]

    Maybe you should write him in da county and outline how that works for him..

  • guillotinegirl

    On tonight’s news: Jelks Jerks Gherkin, film at 11.

  • Anonymous

    If you’re going to walmart to look at some women, then you need to aim a little higher. I’m not a beauty queen by no means but seriously…walmart????

    LOOK AT SOME PORN AND DO IT IN YOUR OWN HOME

  • AliceinChainsman =]

    noo the cashiers are sooo sexy!!

  • Hekate

    HAHAHHAHAHAAHHAAHA!!!!! Guilo!!! awesome!!!

  • Wicked Smilee

    Walmart needs to stop “rolling back” them prices, if they want us to stop masterbating in their bathrooms, and isles.

  • Wicked Smilee

    Walmart needs to stop “rolling back” them prices, if they want us to stop masterbating in their bathrooms, and isles.

  • Anonymous

    It was probably more like “OMG, you’re never gonna believe this! Come here, check this out, you’ve gotta hear this- hahaha!” At least, that’s what my convo would have sounded like in this situation.

  • Anonymous

    This is one of the best “Who, me?!” mugshots I’ve ever seen. 

  • You laid down on the floor of a Walmart bathroom? That’s gotta be the sickest shit I’ve ever heard!!!! Every time I’ve entered a WM bathroom, it’s unusually warm and smells of 2 month old used-Kotex and ass. That delicious smell throws my body into  the “fight or flight” feeling completely eliminating my need to evacuate my bowels.

  • You laid down on the floor of a Walmart bathroom? That’s gotta be the sickest shit I’ve ever heard!!!! Every time I’ve entered a WM bathroom, it’s unusually warm and smells of 2 month old used-Kotex and ass. That delicious smell throws my body into  the “fight or flight” feeling completely eliminating my need to evacuate my bowels.

  • Anonymous

    Obviously he has been intranced with the http://thepeopleofwalmart.com/

    pictures.  I know quite a few of the women their get my safety glasses all steamed up to.  I can’t blame him much.

  • Anonymous

    He used condoms to whack it?  That’s pretty bad when YOU don’t even want to touch your own dick.

  • “Fappin’ in the ladies’ room”

    Sung to “Smokin’ in the boys’ room”

    >make the video
    >upload YouTube
    >viral
    >PROFIT!

  • I surfed to this http://thepeopleofwalmart.com/ page figuring on getting a good laugh. Did I get MUCH MORE than I bargained for! Scroll down to the bottom of the page, and there it is!!!

    >Make This Your Homepage

    omfg, lolololol….

  • Anonymous

    I SAT on my coat that was on the floor… otherwise I would’ve fallen face first onto it.

  • I’m starting to believe that we were separated at birth because I would have done the same thing. Plus timed him to see how long he could last. 

    Unless my babies were with me…

  • AliceinChainsman =]

    The restroom was his aphrodisiac..

  • Jacking off to the women of Walmart?  Does not compute.

  • Anonymous

    Timed him, huh? I would be torn between interrupting him and letting him finish. It would depend on which seemed more hilarious at the time.