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Woman Bites Off Mans Tongue During Attempted Sexual AssaultStamford, CT — Gerard Michael Landon, 46, was arrested Friday evening for sexually assaulting a woman who, in defense, bit off a “substantial” piece of his tongue.

According to police, the alleged attack occurred as the victim was exiting St. John’s Church at about 10:00 p.m. Thursday evening. Landon reportedly approached the woman, who is said to be in her mid-50′s, and asked for a hug. When the woman refused, police say Landon attacked, wrestling the woman to the ground and shoving his vile tongue in her mouth. The attack came to an abrupt halt, however, after the woman chomped down on Landon’s tongue.

“It was a substantial piece of his tongue,” said said Stamford Police Sgt. Paul Guzda. “About an inch worth.”

The offending hunk of meat was recovered at the scene and area hospitals were alerted to be on the lookout for a man with a serious tongue injury. In addition to the identifiable piece of tongue, police also recovered video surveillance recordings from the church that substantiated the woman’s story.

Landon apparently wandered around partially tongueless for hours. Police say he finally sought treatment at a massage and chiropractic clinic Friday afternoon, but was turned away.

“He walked in and asked if we could help with his tongue and he stuck his tongue out and it was really gross,” said Jessica, a receptionist at the clinic. “I was like, `no, we can’t.’ ”

Jessica kindly directed the man to the dentist’s office next door and alerted police after reading about the attack.

As officers were en route to the clinic, police got calls reporting that two additional women had been molestered in the same area. One woman said a man grabbed her breast, and another said she was poked in the butt with an umbrella. Police believe Landon is responsible for both of those incidents.

Police finally made contact with Landon, and after a brief struggle, he was taken into custody. After receiving treatment for the tongue injury and the injuries sustained while ‘rasslin with officers, Landon was transported to the pokey and booked on charges of criminal attempt at first-degree sexual assault, first-degree unlawful restraint and second-degree strangulation. Bond has been set at $500,000.

“The good news is the victim didn’t receive any substantial injuries,” Stamford police Capt. Richard Conklin said. “She fought like a tiger and prevailed in this situation.”

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  • pikeman

    Hopefully, she gave him some shit afterwards.

    “How come you’re not talking now, asshole? What’s wrong, you don’t have much to say? Cat got your tongue? A little tongue tied?” 

  • FrikkenFrak

    Talk about leaving a bad taste in someone’s mouth……

  • Anonymous

    “He walked in and asked if we could help with his tongue and he stuck his tongue out and it was really gross,” said Jessica, a receptionist at the clinic. “I was like, `no, we can’t.’ ”

    I read that statement and, hellooo, I knew then that she is white.

    Guess the attacker won’t have much to say in court. [yuka, yuka, hah, hah, hah]

  • Pyncky

    Good thing for him that he didn’t try sticking something else in her mouth.

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Jaded

    What, like, gave it away? ;)

  • Anonymous

    I hope she sits in the front row of every court hearing smirking at him, while the other victims point and laugh. 

    You have to wonder if the cops giggled when they read him his rights- “You have the right *snicker* to remain silent *hahaha*!”

  • Anonymous

    Ohmigod you guys, that is, like, soooo racist! 

  • guillotinegirl

    Good for her. When some jerk tried to rape me he made the mistake of shoving his thumb in my mouth. I bit it and didn’t let go until I could feel the meat starting come off the bone. I was screaming at him to get the fuck off me and trying to crush his windpipe when my schizophrenic aunt realized she wasn’t just hearing voices and that someone was being attacked. She came to my rescue, hauling ass down the side of the cliff with a machete and the guy took off. The best part was I got to ride in an ambulance without being really messed up so I could really enjoy it.

  • Anonymous

    Good for her!!! *applauds* now, if only she woulda taken lessons from ‘Jealous-Psycho-Bitch’ and used box cutters, pliers, and a baseball bat with THIS guy, and told HIM “Now u know how I feel.” That would make for an excellent story. I bet his tongue was naaaasty! Ech. And “poked in the butt with an umbrella.” Um…. creepy, hey atleast he didn’t get it inside of her and open it!

  • Anonymous

    I hope this guy is not HIV+.

  • Anonymous

    Yeah, like literally and surreal at the same time.

  • Anonymous

    Yeah. I don’t like white people. They’re evil.

  • WorldsTallestMidget

    Poked in the butt with an umbrella! Hahahahahaha!

  • Anonymous

    This was already pretty funny, but that quote really cracked me up.

  • Anonymous

    Well one things for certain, he will no longer be a cunning linguist.

  • Anonymous

    This is why you should skip the kissing and go straight to fornication.

  • Anonymous

    Nah, its us white women who r evil.

  • http://twitter.com/Q_Jordon Quintin Jordon

    Just when he was going to perform the Venus Butterfly, she bit him off. Well, I suppose he won’t be talking French anytime soon.

    So how about two in the pinky and one in the stinky?

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_WUSPJ56WM63ZAO7MYQGILWWWPM aliceinchainsboy

    I do my best

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_WUSPJ56WM63ZAO7MYQGILWWWPM aliceinchainsboy

    Ahh your beautiful when your evil :D

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_WUSPJ56WM63ZAO7MYQGILWWWPM aliceinchainsboy

    what were the GPS co ordinates i want a playback of this action

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_WUSPJ56WM63ZAO7MYQGILWWWPM aliceinchainsboy

    LMFAO

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_WUSPJ56WM63ZAO7MYQGILWWWPM aliceinchainsboy

    I just go straight for the titty grab. if she screams then  well.. :)

  • Anonymous

    Lol, I take it ur the glutton for punishment type? Lol

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_WUSPJ56WM63ZAO7MYQGILWWWPM aliceinchainsboy

    Where did this guy go to Rape School? Mcdonadls??

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_WUSPJ56WM63ZAO7MYQGILWWWPM aliceinchainsboy

    GroundHog’s got his tongue

  • guillotinegirl

    33.150789,-117.300754. You can google map it but I don’t believe there is video.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_WUSPJ56WM63ZAO7MYQGILWWWPM aliceinchainsboy

    You know it >:)

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_WUSPJ56WM63ZAO7MYQGILWWWPM aliceinchainsboy

    the sattelite surveilence is pretty extensive, in infrared, oops i need to stop drinking

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_WUSPJ56WM63ZAO7MYQGILWWWPM aliceinchainsboy

    Like he should give her the chance to bite other appendages off..lol..

    wtf was he thinking, here baahh bay gimmea kissy and  a hugggg

  • Anonymous

    You’re just so dreamy.

  • Anonymous

    You know you’re a pervert right, don’t get me wrong, I love it, but I just wanna make sure we’re on the same page.

  • Anonymous

    Well, but of course :-)

  • Canuck Gramz

    Thanks Jaded, now I have to pray I don’t go to hell for laughing my head off at this whole article and then when I thought I could calm myself and think seriously of what this poor woman went through , I had to go and read the comments! I think I might have to convert to Catholicism just so I can have a priest tell me how many hail mary’s I have to do to redeem myself. I’m trying to giggle quietly so as not to wake my family so now I’m snorting in a totally unladylike fashion and its all your fault.

  • Canuck Gramz

    Pretty sure this doorknob wasn’t stunning at anything. If he had hopes of getting into rap he’s done for. Pretty sure lisping would just get him beat up. Hopefull he’ll try that in jail with Bubba and Bubba’s Sumo Wrestler cell mate.

  • Canuck Gramz

    Dang it will spring be late again? We didn’t even GET Spring! One week of flowers and trees budding straight into rain alternating with seven circles of hell type heat. About two months of that and we’ll go back to snowstorms. Can we gather a donation to bribe the Groundhog for next year? Or any other animals that might influence weather?

  • Canuck Gramz

    Hope that place had a security camera, just so they can prove this guy is terminally stupid man along with being a digusting perv. The receptionist could put it on you tube and have it go viral. Without this tidbit , the story wouldn’t have been so massively funny, but this put it right over the top.

  • Canuck Gramz

    We’re only evil when it’s either fun or necessary. For example someone hurts a kid? Then we break out the evil stick and beat the guy ugly. I think black women have that stick too. Maybe it’s a women thing.

  • Canuck Gramz

    I LOVE the mind picture of your schizophrenic aunt “hauling ass down the side of the cliff with a machete.” And you trying to crush his windpipe, that rocks girl!!! Best story to tell at family dinners by far!!

    That all said, sorry you had to go through that!! And thank God you’re okay!!

  • Canuck Gramz

    I thought you were trying to google map the house where all the hot modes live?

  • Canuck Gramz

    What made a guy even think of poking someone in the butt with an umbrella??! Of course now I will reconsider my list of things umbrellas can be used for. Only I will only use this terrifying weapon and any perve who tries to mess with me or my loved ones.

  • Canuck Gramz

    I almost asked what is the Venus Butterfly and then decided I don’t want to know.

  • Anonymous

    I love that your story about being assaulted has a ‘best part’. You’re so cute.  <3 

  • Robert

    “Your comment was done all in “tongue and cheek” humor !!!!!

  • Count Rackula

    Unless the object of  your affection is wearing a Rape-aXe, then it’s straight to the hospital with a barbed thingy stuck to your shit.

  • Anonymous

    Thanks for todays Sesame Street learning opportunity, I had to go and look up Rape-aXe, and  all I can say is, ouch, and good for the fucker.

  • Count Rackula

    I usually link the image for what it is, but typically no one ever pays attention to it, so I didn’t bother this time. It’s good shit though, I would imagine it would probably fuck someone’s shit up pretty good if they tried getting all rapey.

  • Anonymous

    DId you and SB design this ? Or is this someone else’s work ? TOT.

  • Anonymous

    Hmmm…. I dunno… I have a problem getting any kind of pleasure from being in pain, causing pain, or witnessing the pain of any person.

  • Wildheart

    Oh that thing is fucking awesome!

  • Wildheart
  • Anonymous

    How stupid do you have to be?  Even overlooking the whole rape thing,
    why in the fuck would you want to put ANY part of your body near the
    teeth of something that hates you?

    Once, a dentist fucked up royally and drilled a tiny hole in my tongue.  That shit hurt.  A LOT.  And it kept hurting.  It still feels something like stretching pain when I move it a certain way.  Losing an entire goddamn inch of tongue would have to be mind-destroyingly painful.

  • Anonymous

    Awesome. Ambulance rides are fun when youre not writhing in agony. And I know from experience that living with a schizophrenic relative can be a scream.This guy is one ugly motherfucker. I shall pray for the flesh eating virus to attack his newly stitched tongue.

  • Anonymous

    You rock. lol

  • Anonymous

    Sorry you went through that, guillotinegirl.I take it the bastard was’nt caught?

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_BILYTKZ4WC23H7VU2M56P7344U Nik

    Good work :) Hope your teeth are fine too!

  • Pingback: Fighting Back: Question for this week’s cockroach: Whatsa Matter?? Cat got yer tongue? « Uppity Woman

  • pikeman

    This link shows in awesome computer detail how that “barbed thingy” works. I had no idea what a Rape-aXe was. A dick trap that lies in wait in the pussy. Ouch! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cr9yNiHz9Zc

  • pikeman

    One, two, three…

    Don’t Rape-aXe me!

  • pikeman

    Top comment on that link.

    “So if a guy gets sent to prison, he could have a Rape aXe inserted in his ass.”

    LMFAO!

  • guillotinegirl

    No, he wasn’t caught, but he more than likely lost his thumb after that, which is good enough for me. If anything, it would have been nice for him to pay to replace my favorite sweater, which he ruined by bleeding all over it.

  • Anonymous

    I take great pride in being evil and Im Maltese.

  • Anonymous

    And it shows!  ;)

  • http://twitter.com/leaftheweed Leaf Evans

    I’m guessing he probably didn’t show it to medical professionals since they’d know a people bite when they saw it. If so, there’s a good chance he also got a nice infection too.