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Elkton, MD — For those of you who missed it, Ethan Adam Younce, 22, was convicted for the drug-user-equivalent of dumpster diving. He went looking for drugs in the rectum of a friend using a old-style straight blade razor. This was done without his friend’s consent. To add insult to injury – quite literally – no drugs were found.

The particulars according to police and court documents are this… About 4AM one morning a bunch of people are at a party in the living room of a local house. One man has passed out. Younce and two others at the party believe that the man passed out has either drug money or drugs shoved up his ass. The assailants later put a value on the stash at about $50.

Fifty-bucks?!? Hell yeah… it’s time to do some digging!

Younce and his convicted accomplices, Eric Edward Allen, 27, and Maurice Helton, 18, wake the man. By “wake” I mean, of course, “beat.” Allen and Helton reportedly punched and kicked the victim while Younce repeatedly demanded money. When those actions failed to cause either drugs or money to come shooting out of the victim’s ass, Younce’s accomplices held him down while Younce stripped him, police said.

As Younce began cutting into the victim’s ass and anus looking for drugs, one of the bystanders to these crazy kids’ shenanigans ran shrieking to a neighbor to call 911.

“Upon entering, I observed Younce jump away from the victim, who was laying in a fetal position on the floor,” a responding officer from the Elkton Police Department wrote in a report of the incident. “Younce had a significant amount of blood on his shirt and shoes.”

The officer also noted that the victim was completely naked and bleeding severely from his mouth, nose, arms, legs and anus. Officers also found a bloody silver-and-black folding razor on the living room floor, according to court records.

The victim was rushed to the hospital for emergency butt reconstruction surgery. He survived and no drugs were found.

So in 2009, Younce pleaded guilty to first degree assault. In exchange for the plea, the state dropped attempted second-degree murder and numerous other charges. Younce was sentenced to 25 years in jail with 15 years suspended. His earliest opportunity for parole would have been after a minimum of 5 years was served.

End of story. Oh wait…

After serving a little over 2 years, Younce filed a request asking that he be transfered from prison to a drug rehabilitation center. Retired Cecil County Circuit Court Judge O. Robert Lidums – the original judge in the case – granted the request during a hearing last week. Youce will enter the treatment program when the first opening becomes available. The hitch is that drug rehabilitation is outside of the court system. Once the rehabilitation is “complete,” Younce is immediately released.

“If he successfully completes the program in six months, he’s out. One year, he’s out. Eighteen months, he’s out,” Assistant State’s Attorney Michael J. Halter said. “There’s no set time.”

While objecting to the request during last week’s hearing, Halter also stressed that Younce had committed a “heinous” crime.  …or did he say “anus?”

So there you have it… in Maryland you can decide to look for drugs in a drunk guy’s ass, carve his butt like a Christmas turkey, get charged with murder, plea it down to assault, get sentenced to 25 years in jail, have 15 years of it suspended, serve two-and-a-half years in jail, transfer to a rehab center, and be out in under 3.

Cool.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002039632692 William Clinton

    You don’t even need a good attorney any more. Just mention ‘drug addiction’ and everyone starts forgiving and forgetting. I’ve seen otherwise stable people commit crimes for drugs, but if you’re carving out someone’s asshole, drugs are NOT your only problem. Not by a long shot.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002039632692 William Clinton

    You don’t even need a good attorney any more. Just mention ‘drug addiction’ and everyone starts forgiving and forgetting. I’ve seen otherwise stable people commit crimes for drugs, but if you’re carving out someone’s asshole, drugs are NOT your only problem. Not by a long shot.

  • malq

    I am trying to wrap my head around the logistics of using a straight razor to get something out of an asshole.
    Was he trying to give an episiotomy so he could get his hand in there? Or, was he just recreating the sphincter  so it was the sice of a tea saucer and he could shine a flashlight right in there?

  • http://tothechest.com Pete Puma

    I think we’re missing the whole point of this story…THAT DUDE WAS GONNA DO DRUGS THAT CAME DIRECTLY OUT OF SOME OTHER DUDE’S ASS.

  • Anonymous

    Wait! Had that dude come out of that high when they took that pic cause he looks like he’ll be forever flying.

    What. A. Fucking. RETARD. Oh wait, retards are actually nice,  people.

  • guillotinegirl

    He could have at least tried tongs first, jeez!

  • http://twitter.com/AngelsMom0806 Angels Mom

    Maryland here I come! Woo hoo!!!

  • Anonymous

    Just another reason people no longer have any faith in our criminal justice system.  That judge is a bullshit muncher.

  • Gee

    I agree with ya WC!
    I have had my bout with partying and I can honestly say It never occurred to me to go ripping the asshole out of someone in hopes of finding mores drugs. Giving his propensity for drugs I see this guy relapsing (because most people do)  I mean if his starting point was this, it is a progressive disease,  and then whats next…..

  • http://www.facebook.com/jamesballard73 James Ballard

    I will not question the fact that he wanted drugs because he is a druggie and thats what they do, but I will question as to why he was willing to do them out out of his friends ass as Pete above mentioned.   I was in jail one time and an inmate on work detail keestered in some ciggarettes and he and his friends smoked them.  They looked at me like I was nuts to be disgusted as they smoked them when they were his ass.  Sorry once it touches your ass, you can have it I don;t want it.
    Also the whole anus slicign thing sounds so damn painful.  I’d rather be kicked in the nuts.

  • Anonymous

    All they would have had to do is give him a beerbongenema with 3 beers.  That would have dislodged the 50 dollars worth of anything,  But the problem is is drug users are stoopid.

  • LeaveMeBe

    Kniption, I think Halter said hee committed a “hineyous” crime.

  • Athena

    I don’t want to think about it. O.o

  • Athena

    “As Younce began cutting into the victim’s ass and anus looking for drugs, one of the bystanders to these crazy kids’ shenanigans ran shrieking to a neighbor to call 911.”

    Thank fucking God.  I would’ve been that guy.

  • Anonymous

    Butt he seems so nice!Geez! if this dude is that desperate for drugs , he would go and do a assectomy on a friend looking for drugs, whats next?He sees a woman with junk in her trunk and thinks he hit the mother lode?

  • Anonymous

    Maryland is one of my favorite states, but its politicians are about 50% fucked up and the judges are particularly bad.

    Let’s see, a guy’s sphincters are mutilated with what amounts to a fancy exacto blade. The victim probably now has waste passage problems now which affect every intimate relationship he will ever have.

    The judge who saw the severity of the crime with the original sentence now allows a drug rehabilitation program. I wonder if this decision can be reversed since it doesn’t appear to be a sentence or whether a caviate might have or can be added to this decision. All I can think is “WTF was this judge thinking?”

  • Anonymous

    Wow! Everything about this story is sick! That dude need to spend the whole 25 years in jail and let bubba check his booty for drugs every day while he’s in there. If someone is in jail for two years they shold no longer have a drug problem! Which just goes to show you that you can get drugs while your in jail and that’s why he still needs rehab. In my opinion, he needs rehab of a different sort! What in the world was those guys thinking? When I first read the story I thought it was something that happened in a prison somewhere. You know I thought someone stuck some drugs up their butt and brought in back in the prison and then didn’t want to give it up to some guys, so they just took it! Or that some guys just thought he brought drugs in and he really didn’t. That is believeable. Because that kinda stuff happens in prisons all the time. But how you just gonna be at a party and just think someone has drugs in their butt and your gonna get ‘em? And not just one person! Three people come to the conclusion that some random guy that just happened to pass out, has drugs in his butt? Come on now, I think there is more to this story. There has to be! It’s just to crazy!

  • Anonymous

    Wow! I never even thought about that! LMAO!

  • Anonymous

    Me too! I would have went running just as soon as they started cuttin on the guy! Man, I feel so bad for that guy! Could you even imagine?

  • Athena

    No, I can’t imagine. 

    Even though I haven’t used drugs in years, something horrific going down while I’m high remains a residual phobia. :P

  • Hekate

    HAHAHHAHAHAHHA!!!! point well taken…..   (shudder)

  • http://twitter.com/bloomingpsycho Blooming Psycho

    Silly, silly Nurse Psycho–here I’ve been using gloves and K.Y. jelly to examine patients’ rectums. Next time conditions warrant my playing Junior Proctologist, I will simply whip out my scalpel and start digging! If the patient tells me it hurts I’ll just tell them to man/woman up, I am a trained professional and I know what the hell is good for them!

  • HotReadingMama

    And now you know why I want to go back so bad, Morbid.

  • HotReadingMama

    And now you know why I want to go back so bad, Morbid.

  • HotReadingMama

    And now you know why I want to go back so bad, Morbid.

  • Anonymous

    OK…are everyone elses butt cheeks clentched up, in a defensive-type posture? Maybe my cheeks are just really over protective, but that story has me sitting cross legged & crooked.
     
    Hey Maryland, I have a simple solution to poor Ethan’s drug problem….and it doesn’t involve leaving prison at all!  Put him in SOLITARY CONFINEMENT for a couple of months! 

    Now I’m sure that detoxing in a rehab center would be much more comfortable for Ethan….but hey, he sliced & diced some guys anus….and now I have butt cramps!–LET HIM SUFFER!

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_WUSPJ56WM63ZAO7MYQGILWWWPM aliceinchainsboy

    lmaoz!

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_WUSPJ56WM63ZAO7MYQGILWWWPM aliceinchainsboy

    It is AssDuggery gone wrong!

  • Anonymous

    you know what they say, “birds of a feather flock together”, thats how 3 idiots came to the same conclusion. they’re of the same mind set.

  • Anonymous

    you know what they say, “birds of a feather flock together”, thats how 3 idiots came to the same conclusion. they’re of the same mind set.

  • http://www.newsvine.com/carmella75 Carmella

    Friggin ouch!!!!…..but what a shame…goes to show ya what u can do so sick and get away with though, not that I’d ever do it..lol…the fuckin shit scraper!!!!

  • http://www.newsvine.com/carmella75 Carmella

    Friggin ouch!!!!…..but what a shame…goes to show ya what u can do so sick and get away with though, not that I’d ever do it..lol…the fuckin shit scraper!!!!

  • Anonymous

    “emergency butt reconstruction surgery”

    I’m sorry.  This made me laugh loudly, and I was immediately ashamed of myself.  I’m sorry.

  • Anonymous

    Or a fork.

  • Anonymous

    I don’t get how the cigarettes stayed whole and intact…did the whole pack go up his butt, or have one of those old lady smoke cases?

  • http://twitter.com/Q_Jordon Quintin Jordon

    It was awful early to be practicing for pumpkin carving. Then again, I am not sure if carving a pumpkin’s ass for drugs is legal, either.

  • Anonymous

    Practice makes perfect!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Helen-Payne/1850169687 Helen Payne

    this guy needs to die for what he did

  • Christina Mazza

    um maybe you should all get a clue, thats my boyfriend your talking about and the newspapers and police and everyone else can say what they want to make it more appealing to the public but none of you were there…none of the “ass” stuff is relevant at all… it had nothing to do with any of it. all your fucused on is the victim and all the bullshit that everyone added, did it ever occur to anyone that another human being, ethan, was given another chance at life too…the victim forgave him, why dont all of you mind your business and understand that your angry bc he robbed a drug dealer, another peron who is greatly contributing to society huh?