Good day, sickos. I want to thank all of you for your calls and emails inquiring about my well-being and offering sex at various public parks. But fear not, I am just on a much-deserved, much-needed vacation. Although I am off this week, I will be writing up some stuff off and on while finally being able to focus on some DD house cleaning. I'll also have time to respond to some of you interested in writing. In the meantime, be sure to check out the forums for the latest in terrible news.


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Miami Beach, FL — Shirley Jean, 27, is facing two counts of premeditated attempted murder after police say she tried to drown herself and her two children in Biscayne Bay Thursday evening.

Witnesses told police they watched as Jean drove her car off the road and into the bay. As one witness was dialing 911, he told police he saw Jean exit the partially submerged vehicle and try to drown her 7-year-old child. As she was pushing the child’s head into the water, the witness says she was telling another child, age 2, to get out of the car and join them in the water.

“The car took a sharp turn right into the water,” said witness Rafael Abraeu. “She got out in the water and was pushing the little girl’s head under and threw her body on top of her.”

Three men who were fishing nearby told police they tried to rescue Jean and the children, but Jean wouldn’t allow them anywhere near the child. One of the men said Jean tried to bite him when he reached for the kid.

Police finally arrived on scene and all three were eventually rescued from the water. Each was transported to a local hospital for treatment of minor injuries.

Those close to the family claim Jean is a good mother who has never shown signs of suicidal tendencies or depression. Jean, however, reportedly admitted to the watery late-term abortion attempt. So far, though, we don’t know why.

At a hearing in juvenile court Friday, a judge listened as Jean’s family members begged to keep the children in their home – a home they once shared with Jean. Another judge had previously ordered Jean to keep her distance from the children, and her brother, Nervens Lublin, tried to assure the juvenile court judge they would have her moved out when and if she is released on bond.

“We have her stuff packed,” Nervens said, “so whenever she gets out, she has to leave. She’s not allowed in the house or around her kids.”

The placement of the children is pending background checks on the family.

Jean remains behind bars on $44,000 bond. If she makes bond, she’ll be placed under house arrest.

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  • Inconsiderate @ pikeman

    She didn’t do a very good job blow drying her hair after the incident. That shit is seriously askew.

  • Anonymous

    Well she is surely showing those suicidal tendencies now, so they should’ve brought her stuff to jail & drop them off there so the judge would’ve believe them.

    That whore. She deserves to be beaten with a bat for trying to kill her children instead of herself ONLY.

  • Jaime

    ok so when she bonds out she will be on house arrest… but her current residence is with the family trying to get custody of the kids? and the family claims she isn’t allowed to live there when she gets out. so ummm where is she going to stay? how does this work then? she has no place to stay but will be on house arrest.

  • guillotinegirl

    Nice eyebrows, but if she wants them to appear more level she should tilt her head the other way.

  • LeaveMeBe

    I’m thinking nothing will help those eyebrows. Or that face. Or that hair. Nothing. Except maybe a shroud.

  • Anonymous

    bad hair day, bad face day, looks like a man day…

  • Anonymous

    The fishermen might have used fish hooks on a line to rip her flesh and get her off the kids!  

    (The fishermen were good samaritans who probably distracted the “mother” just long enough to not to  allow her to drown the girl until police came)

  • Anonymous

    OMG.  She should have just offed herself and gave the babies to the fisherman.

  • Anonymous

    That would be difficult to explain to the wifey. “Honey, I didn’t catch any fish, but I brought back a 2 and 7yr old…They are not mine, I swear.”

  • Anonymous

    LOL! ya got me!

  • Heather Habilatory

    Those fisherman should have drowned the mom when she didn’t allow the kid to get to safety.

  • Anonymous

    Or cut her up and used her for bait.

  • Heather Habilatory

    I’m fine with either plan.

  • aliceinchainsboy

    what an evil witch…. yeesh