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Wisconsin Rapids, WI — Four members of Lincoln High School’s state championship wrestling team are facing disorderly conduct charges after being accused of repeatedly sexually harassing a fellow wrestler in the locker room.

According to the criminal complaint, the accused, Zachary Benitz, 18; Kasey Einerson, 17; Rylan Lubeck, 17; and Devin Peterson, 17, reportedly made one freshman wrestler’s season a living hell full of wins towards their 20th state championship as well as their naked penises being placed on various parts of his body.

The 15-year-old victim claims that on about 5 to 10 separate occasions, the accused would dance around him while they were naked, swinging their penises at him. He described an incident in the shower where he says one of the accused placed their penis on his butt. He was unable to get away from the offending member because he was “boxed in by two other wrestlers.” On another occasion, the victim said that he “had to climb into a locker” to prevent a penis from hitting him in the face.

What the hell was going on in this locker room? It sounds like a penis hurricane going on in there. It’s almost like if you were a wrestler on that team and were not keen on having another boy’s penis on or in your body somewhere, you’d have to walk in wearing a suit of armor and listen to all the flying penises slapping against it like hail on a tin roof.

Police began investigating the sexual harassment claims after the victim told his mother why he did not want to go to the team banquet. After six other witnesses confirmed the victim’s claims, the four accused were charged with misdemeanor disorderly conduct and help strengthen some’s perception that wrestling is of the gayest activities ever created, designed purely for repressed homosexuals to get their rocks off. Well, aside from fraternity hazing.

This post has received the Andrew Clark Seal of Approval.

 

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  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Morbid

    I purposely used the word “penis” continually throughout this article to ensure Jaded couldn’t read through it without giggling like a loon.

  • Anonymous

    “It sounds like a penis hurricane going on in there.”

    I almost died

  • Anonymous

    Six words: Where the fuck was the coach?

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Morbid

    Too busy catching all the penises with a net?

  • Anonymous

    Morbid, was it too soon for ‘penis tornado’?
     

  • Anonymous

    haha lol penis hurricane! hilarious..and i’m glad they give out their names…i mean did they say “no homo” before slapping this poor kid with their penis’ or would it be peni?

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Morbid

    lol, no, not at all. I am not of the “too soon” mentality. Penis hurricane just sounded funnier at the time. :P 

  • wyrosjr

    Unfortunately, hazing like this is extremely common in sports locker rooms. Although this is certainly way too “gay”, must be because of its association to wrestling? I can remember lots of crazy stuff from football locker room:1.guys urinating in a bucket and pouring it over a wall onto a retarded players’ head 2. guys frequently putting atomic heat into jock straps 3. guys getting stuffed into lockers 4. towel slaps, some of which could draw blood.
    Much like college hazing was such a big issue in the past, perhaps sports locker rooms will be the next big thing?

  • hookerpie

    I’d be horrified too.  The penis is not a pretty thing to look at.

  • Gee

    “you’d have to walk in wearing a suit of armor and listen to all the
    flying penises slapping against it like hail on a tin roof.” 

    This is the statement that made me spit coffee every where! Thanks morbid very funny write up.

  • Anonymous

    OK, if I were the kid I’d just open my mouth.

    Sorry, but i got a ton of them & I’m posting everyone of them separatedly.

  • Anonymous

    OK, if I were the kid I’d just open my mouth.

    Sorry, but i got a ton of them & I’m posting everyone of them separatedly.

  • Anonymous

    The wrestlers accused: GAY.

  • Anonymous

    The wrestlers accused: GAY.

  • Anonymous

    I’d love to be in that hurricane of penises. I just don’t wanna be rained on by the hurricane’s eye.

  • Anonymous

    I’d love to be in that hurricane of penises. I just don’t wanna be rained on by the hurricane’s eye.

  • Anonymous

    BTW, you don’t get dickslapped IF YOU’RE NOT ON YOUR KNEES.

  • Anonymous

    Id’ love to have my cave destruced & torn down by that dick hurricane.

  • Anonymous

    I’d love to be a cat-at-large in that cock hurricane.

  • Anonymous

    This could be a new segment in American Gladiators: DICK DOCKING!

  • Anonymous

    Well, we all know he’s not gay cause if he was why would he turn down dicks big enough to slap you into a locker?

  • Anonymous

    But they’re wrestlers, THEY ARE RIPPED… unlike the husband.

  • Anonymous

    Ok, ok one last one:

    I keep asking my husband to dick slap me cause I’m such a dirty whore but he just wants to lick my ass, am I gonna have to call these guys to teach him how to do it? Do they offer seminars on wrestling “victims to the ground” and proceed to show them how to fuck someone up with penetration????

    I’ll pay $300 for the hubby to assist. I’m just hoping I get my money’s worth & then they call me Hare Lip JGo, cause my mouth got busted.

  • Anonymous

    Notice that none of your stories involved being hit in the face or butt by penises, though. 

  • pikeman

    This is not surprising. The Swinging Penis Dance is an ancient wrestling tradition. It is a combination of Native American and ancient Greco Roman dancing.

    “Hi ya hi ya hi ya *schwang* Hey ya hey ya hey ya *schwang*”

  • pikeman

    You’re a very bad parrot!

  • http://profiles.google.com/dreamer103107 Tonya Whitston

    I am not shocked by this. I live one town over and Wis. Rapids is known for f*cked up people.

  • http://www.facebook.com/andycarpenterjr Andy Carpenter

    Disorderly conduct? So, in other words. I can pull out my cock, dance around like a queer, slap someone with it, and get the same charge as I would if I cursed someone out at the DMV? Sorry, maybe I’m a little confused here.

  • Count Rackula

    Thanks for making me feel better about some of the shit I leave up. :P <3

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Trisha-Doran/1055147616 Trisha Doran

    Well and I am also giggling like a loon – or a 12-year-old schoolgirl (okay, same thing).

  • Count Rackula

    Maybe if you did that at the DMV, they’d give you service faster.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Trisha-Doran/1055147616 Trisha Doran

    I think queers are better dancers.  Snicker.

  • http://www.facebook.com/andycarpenterjr Andy Carpenter

    lol, you’re probably right.

     Side note: My wife just pointed out that his ball sack was rubbing against the other guys face and it looks like he’s quite happy about it. lol

  • Anonymous

    “Hi ya hi ya hi ya *schwang* Hey ya hey ya hey ya *schwang*”

    I know that tune, they played it at the last bar mitzvah I went to.

  • Count Rackula

    LOL It looks like he’s seeing an old friend. :P

  • Anonymous

    How did the bris go?

  • Anonymous

    A ton of what? ,,,penises? :P

  • Anonymous

    Is there video?

  • Anonymous

    Lmao morbid, glad iam not drinking anything while reading this.

  • WorldsTallestMidget

    I don’t know what’s funnier… the term ‘penis hurricane’ on the picture that goes with the story!

  • http://www.facebook.com/edward.hickey Edward Hickey

    I wrestled a lot in high school & collage never was assaulted by penises that guy must of had animal magnetism. They were just screwing around everyone a tight ass these days, they haze u , u haze the next generation but remember how u felt and don’t go too far. Extreme hazing is bad but school cracking down so hard is overkill. In the end don’t fear the penis man its your friend lol.

  • Anonymous

    I wish. I’d be a madam & I’d make them call me: Madam Cock

  • Anonymous

    I wish. I’d be a madam & I’d make them call me: Madam Cock

  • Anonymous

    I’m game!

  • Anonymous

    That’s what I’m here for.

  • Anonymous

    Say that to my beak… come close REAL CLOSE to the beak & say it. I DARE YOU!

  • Anonymous

    OMG… *dies laughing*

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_PKSJ42VBXNAFJLOH54Y3K4KTXU Heather Habilatory

    Well, that’s doing nothing to help the “wrestling is gay” stereotype.

  • http://musclegrown.jigsy.com Darrell FIne

    Are you fucking kidding me? Schools NEED to crack down hard on hazing. I wrestled in high school too. Anybody ever started swinging a cock in my direction I’d have caught an assault charge. I would literally beat a mofo half to fucking death.

  • Anonymous

    “They were just Screwing around everyone a Tight Ass these days”  LMFAO!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/dukerichards Duke Richards

    Those guys sound like a bunch of dicks