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Everett, WA — Members of the Jackson High School cheerleading squad have been suspended after it was revealed that they were conducting initiation rituals that required the new members to wear diapers and then be squirted with squirt guns and hit with flying hot dogs.

Oh, the humanity.

The Everett School District suspended several cheerleaders, saying they violated the athletic code of conduct which prohibits hazing.

School officials released a statement that said, “When students make poor choices, it is disappointing to us, just as it is disappointing to parents. We hope, as parents do, that each action with appropriate consequences is a positive learning experience.”

Fellow students registered the expected outrage.

“No one’s died from getting hit in the face with a sausage,” one student said.

It was reported that several parents of the cheerleaders met with school officials on Thursday, but the suspensions were not overturned. This, of course, means that the suspended girls will be spending their next days at home, reflecting on their poor judgement and fielding cash offers from porn websites worldwide to recreate the scene.

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