Home > Burglary > Police: X-rays Reveal Stolen Items ‘Deep Inside Anal Cavity’

Police: X-rays Reveal Stolen Items ‘Deep Inside Anal Cavity’

May 2, 2011 at 2:43 am by kniption

Albuquerque, NM — A friend of David Chavez, 27, caught Chavez in his back yard last week reportedly making off with a video game system, jewelry and prescription medication.

The friend and Chavez started to scuffle with the friend getting a firm hold of Chavez’ pants. Undeterred, Chavez simply worked his way out of the pants and made his way over a fence.

Police reported locating Chavez later ‘bleeding and disoriented.’ Chavez was taken to the hospital and an x-ray showed the stolen prescription medication to be deep inside his anal cavity.

Chavez is charged with burglary and evidence-tampering.

…and I am glad to now know that police-speak for shoving something really far up your ass is “evidence tampering.”

Tags: Burglary, David Chavez, evidence tampering, rectum

67 Comments

Comments

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http://www.dreamindemon.com Jaded

I’d have been more impressed had he shoved the game system up there…
malq

I wondered how he planned to get them out. My sister worked in trauma for many years. Always the same story with the guy who shows at ER ,septic and complaining he has not shit for a week.
“I have no idea whats going on”

They always march him to xray while the anxious family wrings hands in the waiting room. She has done hundreds of these.

Apparently, once something gets past that precious muscle the sphincter, it’s gone baby. Coke bottle,yams,lightbulbs and hairbrushes all require lower intestine surgery to get them out.
Word to the mutha, don’t play with your asshole.
guillotinegirl

..and then played it using only his abdominal muscles.
Tundratot

Well, isn’t that special.
Parrot Toes

What about animals, such as hamsters? If you bend over and get a friend to hold a flashlight up to the orifice, would the hamster walk into the light? Would a pair of tongs be helpful to separate the opening so the hamster doesn’t need to experience rebirth again? C’mon, curious minds want to know……….
Anonymous

I have heard that on the ER in some towns keep a light fittting on hand which they can sometimes screw the lightbulbs back into so they can pull them out.

And bottles usually get stuck because they somehow manage to form a vacuum, so drilling a small hold in the bottom of it can sometimes help release it.
Anonymous

I have heard that on the ER in some towns keep a light fittting on hand which they can sometimes screw the lightbulbs back into so they can pull them out.

And bottles usually get stuck because they somehow manage to form a vacuum, so drilling a small hold in the bottom of it can sometimes help release it.
Parrot Toes

Drill + anus = *shudder*

Though, if someone is gonna stick a bottle up in there, they’ll probably enjoy the thrill of the drill.
Anonymous

Holy shit. Is this the new “murse”?
Parrot Toes

Possibly, but it ain’t new……
pikeman

What is it with everyone sticking shit up their asses and twats today? Hopefully he didn’t slide any game disks up there. They don’t work very well when they get shit smeared on them.
pikeman

Check out Mario Bros. new game “Fudgepacker”.
pikeman

Check out Mario Bros. new game “Fudgepacker”.
Anonymous

Yeah remember the old school nintendo cartridges? If they even had a slight
spec of dust on them you could not play. I could only imagine what fecal
matter would do…
Anonymous

Yeah remember the old school nintendo cartridges? If they even had a slight
spec of dust on them you could not play. I could only imagine what fecal
matter would do…
http://www.dreamindemon.com Jaded

I kinda like to call it a fanny pack…
Anonymous

Sure by now everyone has heard prisoners have illegal cell phones they hide up their butts along with the chargers, I would find it hilarious if it started ringing at the wrong time…
Anonymous

Sure by now everyone has heard prisoners have illegal cell phones they hide up their butts along with the chargers, I would find it hilarious if it started ringing at the wrong time…
Anonymous

Yeah that woman that shoved all those stuff in her leather pussre (I misspelled it correctly) was better than this guy.
Anonymous

I just wanna know WHY!? Why do they think it’s a good idea to put stuff up your ass that WOULD NEVER BE APPLIED ANALLY!?

I betcha all these people doing that enjoyed getting supositories & thermometers up their asses as kids.
Anonymous

I thought you were only suppossed to put dicks in there!

I know I do.
Anonymous

I thought you were only suppossed to put dicks in there!

I know I do.
Anonymous

I believe they use special tools for it. You wouldn’t want the glass to break, after all……. :-S
Anonymous

I believe they use special tools for it. You wouldn’t want the glass to break, after all……. :-S
Anonymous

I believe they use special tools for it. You wouldn’t want the glass to break, after all……. :-S
Anonymous

I believe they use special tools for it. You wouldn’t want the glass to break, after all……. :-S
Anonymous

Surely you would keep them on silent setting if you were going to keep a clandestine cell phone (or should that be a clandestine phone in your cell?)? Though obviously the vibrate might have an unwanted side-effect……
Parrot Toes

There’s a name for that………..

Oh yes……..

1 man, 1 cup.

Well, the cup was actually a glass jar and well, the glass did break (for those who haven’t seen the video).
Anonymous

oooooh… good one!
pikeman

You could pull a gang train
If you would just lay down your skid tracks
You could have your anus gaping
If you push your asshole back

All you do is call me
I’ll shove anything up there you need

You could have oxycotins
going up and down, all around the bends
you could have a dildo bumping
the amusement never ends

I want to be your fudgepacker
Why don’t you call my name
Oh let me be your fudgepacker
This will be my testimony
Show me around your asshole
I’ll stick anything up your hiney free
Open up your asshole
Where the dingleberries are stinky as can be

I want to be your fudgepacker
And you will yell my name
You better call the fudgepacker
Put your ass at rest
I’m going to be the fudgepacker
This can be my testimony
I’m your fudgepacker

Let there be no doubt about it

fudge fudge fudgepacker

I’ve stuffed the rectum
stretched that skin
shoved in some new stuff
It goes sliding in, it goes sliding in
Oh wont you push for me and I will push for you
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. yeah. yeah, I do mean you, only you.
It’s been sliding through
going to build that power
build build up that power, hey
I’ve been feeding the rectum
I’ve been feeding the rectum
Going to feel that power build in you
come on. come on, help me do
I’ve been feeding the rectum
I’ve been feeding the rectum
thats what were doing
doing all day and night

(I hope you guys realize I have to put a lot of thought into this shit.)
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

Yea David,come on man … you will never come out on top in a shove it up your ass contest if that’s all you can push up in there .. you are obviously too up tight … the boys in the pen will help you loosen up a bit though … just tell them about your hiding place and that should get the balls and sticks pumpin.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

I am going to report your owner for bestiality … you are a parrot … what the hell is going on with this world ?
Anonymous

Light bulb??? What if it broke in there, OMG *shudder*
Anonymous

Light bulb??? What if it broke in there, OMG *shudder*
pikeman

Little Johnny goes to school and says to his teacher, “Did you hear about that David Chavez guy who got caught shoving stuff up his asshole?”

The teacher looks at Johnny. “Now Johnny, it’s not nice to say ‘asshole’, say ‘rectum’”

Johnny says back to the teacher, “wrecked ‘em? shit it damn near killed ‘em!”
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

Fecal matter … well that would make for a shitty game at the very least … although I did once own a Nintendo cartridge game called “Booger Man” … the game was great … even by today’s standards … I miss that game … wonder if David might have an extra one crammed up his ass somewhere ?
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

Fecal matter … well that would make for a shitty game at the very least … although I did once own a Nintendo cartridge game called “Booger Man” … the game was great … even by today’s standards … I miss that game … wonder if David might have an extra one crammed up his ass somewhere ?
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

Fecal matter … well that would make for a shitty game at the very least … although I did once own a Nintendo cartridge game called “Booger Man” … the game was great … even by today’s standards … I miss that game … wonder if David might have an extra one crammed up his ass somewhere ?
pikeman

LOL
pikeman

LOL
pikeman

LOL
pikeman

LOL
Anonymous

Sounds like this guy knew his sphincters well, but didn’t know things can get a little out of hand (get it? get it?) when the inserted object is not attached the pelvis of another man.
Count Rackula

That exact scenario happens more often than anyone would like to think about…
Count Rackula

Yeah, but what do you do when you want it on the go like this guy? Have your hubs walk around hanging out of your ass?

I would also think that that might hinder your walking capabilities.
Count Rackula

Stories about things being shoved in assholes and/or vaginas always yield the best comments.
malq

Here’s a sweet little list of foreign oblects removed by an RN, who is apparently immune to this shit.
LOL at the frozen pigs tail.

an antenna rod
a live, shaved, declawed gerbil
an axe handle
a Coke bottle
a plastic spatula
a 9-inch zucchini
a 150-watt light bulb
72 jewelers’ saws
a screwdriver
an apple
four rubber balls
a 10-inch length of broomstick
a frozen pig’s tail
a banana encased in a condom
a whisky bottle with a cord attached
an 18-inch umbrella handle
an oil can
a 6-inch by 5-inch tool box weighing 22 ounces
a peanut butter jar
a flashlight
several tumblers and glasses
a file
a Carbonundum grindstone with handle
concrete and a ping-pong ball

http://www.examiner.com/sexual-health-in-national/the-strangest-things-surgically-removed-from-sensitive-places
malq

Do ya think?
Count Rackula

*blink*

*vomit*

*blink blink*
Count Rackula

*blink*

*vomit*

*blink blink*
Anonymous

Can u perform it and put it on you-tube…pleeeeeaaaassse? It will be the
next you tube sensation I swear!
Anonymous

Whoa (said in Joey Lawrence voice) batman, was this all from ONE ass?
pikeman

I don’t know. It is not getting good ratings like my kittyama song by Lady Gaga.
pikeman

I don’t know. It is not getting good ratings like my kittyama song by Lady Gaga.
pikeman

HOLY STRETCHED ORFACES ROBIN, LET’S HOPE NOT!!!
pikeman

HOLY STRETCHED ORFACES ROBIN, LET’S HOPE NOT!!!
pikeman

HOLY STRETCHED ORFACES ROBIN, LET’S HOPE NOT!!!
pikeman

Hello people? Assholes were not meant to be used as storage units.
pikeman

Hello people? Assholes were not meant to be used as storage units.
guillotinegirl

I’m partial to biological pocket, which is a term I first heard on this site. Learning is fun!
guillotinegirl

You’ve obviously never been to jail, heh.
guillotinegirl

You’ve obviously never been to jail, heh.
Anonymous

ow!
Anonymous

I asked this on another post and got no response and inquiring minds want to know: Is there really an “ass box” at the ER filled with items recovered from unsuspecting anuses (ani?), or is this an urban legend?
Anonymous

You have now been appointed the DD resident ass expert due to your technical knowledge and prowess on the subject. We have some important questions listed below that need your assistance.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XA4RDSRSUX3XRSCPRR7XNGSPUQ Joshua

Clearly he has experience packing things up there. He’ll be happy in prison.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XA4RDSRSUX3XRSCPRR7XNGSPUQ Joshua

Clearly he has experience packing things up there. He’ll be happy in prison.