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Mataura, NZ — A 17-year-old has been convicted of bestiality after being seen by a neighbor having an “intimate moment” with the family cat in February.

The teen appeared in the Invercargill District Court before Judge Kevin Phillips on a charge of an act of bestiality. The summary of facts, which was not read out in court, says the teenager was sitting in his house when he started thinking about young girls, so he picked up the family cat and took it out to the backyard, where he was seen by a neighbor.

The teenager reportedly told police he knew it was wrong and that the cat was scared, but he had done it on 10 previous occasions in the past six months.

In addition to registering a solid “10” on the Gross-o-Meter, this news account prompts a number of valid questions concerning comparative anatomy, claws, and teeth. Sadly, as the details of the case are sealed, we are left only to speculate.

The teenager was ordered to remain in custody until his sentencing on June 9. No word yet on any punishment for that whore of a cat.

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