Good day, sickos. I want to thank all of you for your calls and emails inquiring about my well-being and offering sex at various public parks. But fear not, I am just on a much-deserved, much-needed vacation. Although I am off this week, I will be writing up some stuff off and on while finally being able to focus on some DD house cleaning. I'll also have time to respond to some of you interested in writing. In the meantime, be sure to check out the forums for the latest in terrible news.

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Mataura, NZ – A 17-year-old has been convicted of bestiality after being seen by a neighbor having an “intimate moment” with the family cat in February.

The teen appeared in the Invercargill District Court before Judge Kevin Phillips on a charge of an act of bestiality. The summary of facts, which was not read out in court, says the teenager was sitting in his house when he started thinking about young girls, so he picked up the family cat and took it out to the backyard, where he was seen by a neighbor.

The teenager reportedly told police he knew it was wrong and that the cat was scared, but he had done it on 10 previous occasions in the past six months.

In addition to registering a solid “10” on the Gross-o-Meter, this news account prompts a number of valid questions concerning comparative anatomy, claws, and teeth. Sadly, as the details of the case are sealed, we are left only to speculate.

The teenager was ordered to remain in custody until his sentencing on June 9. No word yet on any punishment for that whore of a cat.

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Comments


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  • pikeman

    Dude, when your buddies were talking about “getting some pussy” they weren’t referring to cats.

  • Canuck Gramz

    “No word yet on any punishment for that whore of a cat.” You crack me up!!

    That poor cat, I’ll bet he has serious internal injuries. Horrible.

  • Anonymous

    sick perverted animal abuser , if it is not a child its some animal those deranged sex offenders get their kicks with. its not what has happened to cities, towns, states with all this sex abusive idiots its what has happen to their minds.

  • Parrot Toes

    OK Kniption or Morbid, whoever added that cat picture. You were totally there in the room when it happened weren’t you. You had to have been there to get that great pic of that cat that looks exactly like I would imagine it would look like while being screwed by a 17 year old.

    Set up! Set up I say!

    :P

  • Anonymous

    Cat was asking for it. Strutting around with it’s butt all up in the air and such.

  • Anonymous

    Cat was asking for it. Strutting around with it’s butt all up in the air and such.

  • Anonymous

    i no longer think that the cat is a whore. i read that the teenager had been grooming it for years.

  • Anonymous

    i no longer think that the cat is a whore. i read that the teenager had been grooming it for years.

  • Anonymous

    morbid’s cat. oddly, it makes that face every time he says the word “podcast.”

  • Anonymous

    morbid’s cat. oddly, it makes that face every time he says the word “podcast.”

  • Anonymous

    morbid’s cat. oddly, it makes that face every time he says the word “podcast.”

  • Anonymous

    Oh, he’s 17 for pete’s sake, go ahead, and name him and shame him, New Zealand. Maybe a little public humiliation will teach him not to fuck cats.

  • Anonymous

    Not disagreeing with you on naming him, but I’m pretty sure not screwing cats is up there on the list of things you shouldn’t have to teach.

  • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/BTYN5SIVHWNRENFLKYBXYNVYVE Avie

    Interestingly enough, several centuries ago, animals were executed along with humans for various crimes, including those of a sexual nature. It wasn’t unusual for a dog, horse, cow or sheep to be tried and executed in a court of law for the “crime” of being the target of a human’s perverse intentions. Animals were tried and executed for other crimes, too. Murder, stealing, assault…I’m glad we’re past that. Executing animals for human crimes, that is.

    As for the poor little baby in this article (I’m referring to the cat, of course,) I hope she’s doing okay. Poor little thing didn’t deserve what this bastard did to her:( I hope she tried to scratch and/or bite his wiener off. I can’t imagine any normal-sized human being able to fit any part of his anatomy in one. *shiver* He must either be diminutive (like the photo of the guy’s wiener in Scary Movie) or, ugh, I don’t even want to consider the alternative…poor baby cat:( I’m going to go hug my kitties now.

  • Anonymous

    I can just say – ewwww. I wonder what made him think “jeez, I know doing kids would be wrong, I wonder about cats?” What a creep!

  • FrikkenFrak

    Omg…..lmao

  • Ebolter

    How small of a weeter do you have to have for fornicating a cat ? just wondering .

  • Parrot Toes

    They didn’t just put animals on trial, they would also put insects on trial. If no insect representing the type in question showed up, the case would be dismissed. How stupid were we then?

  • FrikkenFrak

    “..this news account prompts a number of valid questions concerning comparative anatomy, claws, and teeth.”

    No shit…..that’s what I was thinking. Like I told my daughter once “in the game of cat claw vs human skin, cat will always win”.

  • Mamma

    I bet he just folded it in half and rubbed it on his skin like a really soft happy sock

  • Pyncky

    Cats reproductive organs are tiny. Even if he tried to anal rape the cat it would either mean he has a tiny weeter (I like that word) or the cat would be ripped and injured.

  • Anonymous

    How do you figure, A tin of friskies, some lube and a pinky?

  • jordundirskrift

    this is nasty. what a creepo.
    i feel bad for the kitty.
    :O

  • Anonymous

    I hear that pussy got knocked up. It’ll never recover it’s original shape……yeah yeah I know Booooooooooooo :P

  • Anonymous

    C’mon PT, the more things change, the more they stay the same. A person is smart, people are stupid, crazy, animal humping panicky abominations

  • Anonymous

    LMAO

  • Anonymous

    Sure he doesn’t say “Podcat”?

  • Anonymous

    Sure he doesn’t say “Podcat”?

  • Anonymous

    yeah he’ll elevate himself from pussy to bitches

  • Anonymous

    yeah he’ll elevate himself from pussy to bitches

  • Anonymous

    Creep is like a small scratch. This requires a word that’s akin to the gaping hole of hell.

  • Anonymous

    I bet the truly sick little weeter got the cat “ripped” before the incident. Maybe he used Ruffies.

  • Anonymous

    I bet the truly sick little weeter got the cat “ripped” before the incident. Maybe he used Ruffies.

  • Wicked Smilee

    I guess it’s true, all pussy IS pink, in the inside,…

  • Anonymous

    Ew.
    What in the world gave him the idea to use a cat for masturbation purposes? What about fake fur?

  • Anonymous

    TEN times? That is one resilient cat. Poor kitty.

  • hookerpie

    I blame the cat!!! Them fuckers are always walking around putting their ass in the air. They are asking for it. They paw at you and make them soft meows. Who wouldnt take the opportunity to beast-out on a cute little pussy.

    Just Kidding. This guy is a disgusting piece of shit. They should put him in a cage with a lion or a tiger. See what happens then.

  • Anonymous

    Ok considering the state of public education these days I can see how the Stupid Fuck got confused with the getting some pussy and chasing Some Tail thing.

    But the Backyard?? didn’t it cross his mind Someone could see him?
    Just how Dumb is this Guy???????

  • Anonymous

    Ok considering the state of public education these days I can see how the Stupid Fuck got confused with the getting some pussy and chasing Some Tail thing.

    But the Backyard?? didn’t it cross his mind Someone could see him?
    Just how Dumb is this Guy???????

  • Anonymous

    I saw this show: 1,000 Ways To Die & some dude put some plugs into the wall & then connected them to a cow’s heart & started boinking it & then got zapped because he was supposed to do it with a car battery not the wall..

    Someone should tell this kid about that. Oh & they sell, online fake vaginas too.

  • Anonymous

    Too bad the cat didn’t scratch up his junk and give him a massive infection that would require him to get certain things cut off.

  • Anonymous

    Too bad the cat didn’t scratch up his junk and give him a massive infection that would require him to get certain things cut off.

  • UniqueMommy1984

    Poor, poor, Mr Whiskers :-(

  • UniqueMommy1984

    I saw that episode, I was like “WTF?”

  • UniqueMommy1984

    I saw that episode, I was like “WTF?”

  • Anonymous

    the weirdest thing is that supposedly this teen did this about 10 times already..umm and no damage to the cat..he must be very very very small..i mean like microscopic or something

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/John-House/1011555524 John House

    I’m betting there was no insertion. He likely just shoved it in between kitty’s legs for soft, furry friction…just because, cat’s vagine or ass + human penis penetration = death from internal injuries after the first try (not to mention the cat would’ve fought back fro that kind of pain).

  • Anonymous

    maybe he had something else entirely going on…

    [IMG]http://i55.tinypic.com/egyayt.jpg[/IMG]

  • Anonymous

    umm lol where on earth did you did that up lol haha

  • Anonymous

    umm lol where on earth did you did that up lol haha

  • Anonymous

    umm lol where on earth did you did that up lol haha

  • Anonymous

    umm lol where on earth did you did that up lol haha

  • Anonymous

    umm lol where on earth did you did that up lol haha

  • Anonymous

    umm lol where on earth did you did that up lol haha

  • Anonymous

    umm lol where on earth did you did that up lol haha

  • Anonymous

    umm lol where on earth did you did that up lol haha

  • Anonymous

    umm lol where on earth did you did that up lol haha

  • Anonymous

    umm lol where on earth did you did that up lol haha

  • Anonymous

    umm lol where on earth did you did that up lol haha

  • Anonymous

    umm lol where on earth did you did that up lol haha

  • Anonymous

    umm lol where on earth did you did that up lol haha

  • Anonymous

    umm lol where on earth did you did that up lol haha

  • aka jas

    Pussy is the enemy of many men……….

  • Anonymous

    damn and i thought that i was small

  • Anonymous

    damn and i thought that i was small

  • malq

    Just keep that a secret,k?k

  • malq

    Just keep that a secret,k?k

  • malq

    I thought everyone did that…Ohhh

  • malq

    I thought everyone did that…Ohhh

  • malq

    I thought everyone did that…Ohhh

  • malq

    I thought everyone did that…Ohhh

  • malq

    I thought everyone did that…Ohhh

  • malq

    I thought everyone did that…Ohhh

  • malq

    I heard the cat was a boy

  • malq

    I heard the cat was a boy

  • malq

    I heard the cat was a boy

  • malq

    I heard the cat was a boy

  • malq

    I heard the cat was a boy

  • malq

    I heard the cat was a boy

  • malq

    I heard the cat was a boy

  • malq

    I heard the cat was a boy

  • Wicked Smilee

    a Man-gina?

  • Wicked Smilee

    a Man-gina?

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_WUSPJ56WM63ZAO7MYQGILWWWPM aliceinchainsboy

    holy fuck, i like pussy but this was goin a bit tttoooo far..lololol

  • KBunnie

    This kid needs a crack upside the head. WIJHHH!?!???!

  • Anonymous

    Yhe also were executed for rimes such as witchcraft and if it was a black colored animal, everything from the plague to babies dying were blamed on it, animals had it hard, there was a movie out about it named “The Advocate” with Colin Ferrel on Netflix, he is able to save animals lives but not humans…. interesting film…