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Scranton, PA – A 27-year-old woman detained by police following a car accident last weekend was jailed after a cavity search yielded 54 bags of heroin, 31 empty bags used to package heroin, 8.5 generic Xanax pills and $51.22.

During the initial pat down, an officer found three bags of heroin in Karin Mackaliunas’ jacket pocket and placed her under arrest. Once Mackaliunas arrived at the cop shop, female officers attempted to make a more thorough search, and after a brief struggle, the over-packed princess admitted to having more drugs stashed in her snatch.

Mackaliunas was then transported to a local hospital where the goodies were removed piece by piece. She’s now being held on $25,000 bail, charged with possession with intent to deliver a controlled substance, possession of drug paraphernalia and possession of a controlled substance.

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  • Jury

    The only thing I can think of is that there was enough room for the $51.22.

  • http://www.youtube.com/user/BrentHamm?feature=mhum Spiderman

    Wow. Not even going to say anything more than wow.

  • Boughtthefarm

    Ok, why the .22?? Seriously???

    Screw renting a Uhaul next time I have to move. I’m just gonna call this female warehouse. Damn, I bet if they kept looking they’d find DB Cooper too. LMFAO!

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Jaded

    All I can think of is paper cut….

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Jaded

    All I can think of is paper cut….

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Jaded

    All I can think of is paper cut….

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Jaded

    All I can think of is paper cut….

  • Anonymous

    Can you imagine the dr’s face during that excvation??? O_o

  • Anonymous

    excavation even….

  • Anonymous

    excavation even….

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_6JCX5ADTMRYYI3PQVP6QVWKME4 Amy

    Perhaps Mike Rowe with “DirtyJobs” would like to try being an ER doc for the day.

  • Anonymous

    Spiderman, I swear that is the same exact comment I was going to make.

  • Anonymous

    Spiderman, I swear that is the same exact comment I was going to make.

  • Anonymous

    Whenever I do heroin, I always fantasize that it has spent at least a few hours up some skank’s rank twat.

  • Boughtthefarm

    I hate to take up more bandwidth on this but I can’t quit thinking about it. Can’t help but wonder how deep my vag cavity is. I mean, I’m not curious enough to start stashing shit to find out but by damn, next time I visit my Gyno I’m gonna get my measurements. F*ck!

  • Boughtthefarm

    I hate to take up more bandwidth on this but I can’t quit thinking about it. Can’t help but wonder how deep my vag cavity is. I mean, I’m not curious enough to start stashing shit to find out but by damn, next time I visit my Gyno I’m gonna get my measurements. F*ck!

  • http://www.youtube.com/user/BrentHamm?feature=mhum Spiderman

    I was going to say something like “from my personal experiences..i am not surprised” jk

  • Jury

    Try the Grand Canyon or better yet Atlantis.

  • Jury

    Try the Grand Canyon or better yet Atlantis.

  • Jury

    Try the Grand Canyon or better yet Atlantis.

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Jaded

    I heart you, Pete Puma.

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Jaded

    I heart you, Pete Puma.

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Jaded

    I heart you, Pete Puma.

  • Anonymous

    Kiss, kiss, my lovely…I like my Facebook comment better…but I’m pretty sure only faggots will see it.

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Jaded

    ;)

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Jaded

    ;)

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Jaded

    ;)

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Jaded

    ;)

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Jaded

    ;)

  • Anonymous

    I understand the filled heroin bags, but why keep the empty bags at all; and why would you put $51.22 in the hole (unless that was her white trash 401K unsecured bank) and the 8.5 generic Xanax would not have been much of a problem if she kept them in a pill bottle/case in her purse.

    Oh yeah! I forgot that she is a mess.

  • Anonymous

    I understand the filled heroin bags, but why keep the empty bags at all; and why would you put $51.22 in the hole (unless that was her white trash 401K unsecured bank) and the 8.5 generic Xanax would not have been much of a problem if she kept them in a pill bottle/case in her purse.

    Oh yeah! I forgot that she is a mess.

  • MM222

    WTF! when did people start putting empty drug bags and fifty dollars in their vag…. what was the purpose of that… maybe she was trying to enlarge the cavity for the next big shipment… cause there is just no logical explanation for the empty bags and the money… sure that wasn’t generic acid they found on her, LOL!

  • MM222

    WTF! when did people start putting empty drug bags and fifty dollars in their vag…. what was the purpose of that… maybe she was trying to enlarge the cavity for the next big shipment… cause there is just no logical explanation for the empty bags and the money… sure that wasn’t generic acid they found on her, LOL!

  • MM222

    WTF! when did people start putting empty drug bags and fifty dollars in their vag…. what was the purpose of that… maybe she was trying to enlarge the cavity for the next big shipment… cause there is just no logical explanation for the empty bags and the money… sure that wasn’t generic acid they found on her, LOL!

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Jaded

    Ya know, most people stuff themselves with these kind of provisions when they know they are facing time. Why this woman was just walking around with that crap stashed in her cooter is beyond my comprehension. I’m picturing her standing at the counter at 7-11 and having to reach into her “purse” for a couple of bucks to pay for her nachos. And then I gag a little…..

  • Anonymous

    YOWCH!! *wince*

  • Anonymous

    YOWCH!! *wince*

  • http://www.facebook.com/streetdigest Street Digest

    Cmon guys, we’ve had this at Street Digest for over a week. Theres already been a guy trying to beat her record.

    http://www.streetdigest.com/2011/03/earl-lee-vogt-really-packed-for-his-four-year-prison-stay-cellphone-mp3-player-marijuana-tobacco-and-cash-all-smuggled-via-his-rectum/

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Morbid

    Can’t say that in our six years of operation, that we ever painted ourselves as a breaking news site. We also have never cared about being the first to post a news story…especially not enough to go to another crime site to point out if we broke a duplicate story first. That’s just weird and spammy, and why we will always remain cool as fuck — no matter when we decide to post a story.

  • Smileypants

    I wish I had known that a vagina can also double as a duffel bag…it would’ve helped me out last night trying to carry in groceries alone and having the bags split. I could have just put the canned goods and frozen veggies (YOW!) up my snatch, maybe got my coffee creamer in there too before it broke hitting the ground. DD is entertaining AND educational =)

  • Smileypants

    I wish I had known that a vagina can also double as a duffel bag…it would’ve helped me out last night trying to carry in groceries alone and having the bags split. I could have just put the canned goods and frozen veggies (YOW!) up my snatch, maybe got my coffee creamer in there too before it broke hitting the ground. DD is entertaining AND educational =)

  • Anonymous

    To the sound of quiet dignified applause, I say, well done sir.

  • Anonymous

    To the sound of quiet dignified applause, I say, well done sir.

  • Anonymous

    To the sound of quiet dignified applause, I say, well done sir.

  • Anonymous

    To the sound of quiet dignified applause, I say, well done sir.

  • Anonymous

    To the sound of quiet dignified applause, I say, well done sir.

  • Anonymous

    To the sound of quiet dignified applause, I say, well done sir.

  • Anonymous

    To the sound of quiet dignified applause, I say, well done sir.

  • LeaveMeBe

    Hehe. Jaded said “loose” change so I keep imagining the 22 cents jangling and trying to fall out. I mean, c’mon if it was stretched enough to hold everything else you know the change was not gonna stay. Put it in the ashtray or something.

  • LeaveMeBe

    Hehe. Jaded said “loose” change so I keep imagining the 22 cents jangling and trying to fall out. I mean, c’mon if it was stretched enough to hold everything else you know the change was not gonna stay. Put it in the ashtray or something.

  • LeaveMeBe

    Hehe. Jaded said “loose” change so I keep imagining the 22 cents jangling and trying to fall out. I mean, c’mon if it was stretched enough to hold everything else you know the change was not gonna stay. Put it in the ashtray or something.

  • LeaveMeBe

    Hehe. Jaded said “loose” change so I keep imagining the 22 cents jangling and trying to fall out. I mean, c’mon if it was stretched enough to hold everything else you know the change was not gonna stay. Put it in the ashtray or something.

  • LeaveMeBe

    Me too! In fact all of us women should and then we can post it as our status on facebook and have everyone wondering what the measurements mean, kinda like the color of your bra thing. :)

  • LeaveMeBe

    Me too! In fact all of us women should and then we can post it as our status on facebook and have everyone wondering what the measurements mean, kinda like the color of your bra thing. :)

  • Anonymous

    Well she looks like she’s an addict already, although she just may be all shook up from the accident. & the extra durgs were for selling in jail…

  • Anonymous

    And in entertainment news, Mike Rowe has just announced he’s resigning from the hit show “Dirty Jobs” effective immediately.

  • Anonymous

    And in entertainment news, Mike Rowe has just announced he’s resigning from the hit show “Dirty Jobs” effective immediately.

  • Boughtthefarm

    The might find Atlantis, but I think this broad already has the Grand CAnyon.

  • Boughtthefarm

    LMAO. And who needs to lug around diaper bags anymore??

  • http://profiles.google.com/gl92008 Grace Leon

    She had her bag packed and ready for a little R R in Jail…. Loose change is crack up though

  • Anonymous

    Well if she trys to dig her way out of the pen at least we know where she is going to put the dirt.

  • Anonymous

    after reading a couple of your articles, I’ve come to the conclusion that you guys try WAY too hard. and your website is ugly.

  • Anonymous

    after reading a couple of your articles, I’ve come to the conclusion that you guys try WAY too hard. and your website is ugly.

  • Anonymous

    I feel like I have to be caught up on the latest in ebonics just to decipher anything on your site homie. http://www.bellalagosalonspa.com/images/Homey_the_Clown.png

  • DamagedGoods

    Well la dee dah…

  • DamagedGoods

    Well la dee dah…

  • DamagedGoods

    Well la dee dah…

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_PKSJ42VBXNAFJLOH54Y3K4KTXU Heather Habilatory

    Learn how to properly wield a firearm. That stance will only earn you pain in the head from the kickback. But hey. It’s not like it’s gonna hurt you any, now, is it?

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_PKSJ42VBXNAFJLOH54Y3K4KTXU Heather Habilatory

    Learn how to properly wield a firearm. That stance will only earn you pain in the head from the kickback. But hey. It’s not like it’s gonna hurt you any, now, is it?

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_JLGIQVKUB6LVPQ45SYGLDLKDTQ Jennifer

    its an unique taste. now im twisted so i find the shit they put on here funny as hell. love the sarcasm :)

  • LeaveMeBe

    What’s wrong with your neck? And your face?

  • Count Rackula

    Why did the comment have to be edited! Now I wanna know what kind of dirty shit was in that comment. Perhaps the world will never know… except you of course. Sigh.

  • Count Rackula

    Why did the comment have to be edited! Now I wanna know what kind of dirty shit was in that comment. Perhaps the world will never know… except you of course. Sigh.

  • dixiegirl3179

    I read this comment and thought “She had a GUN up there too? How did I miss that?” I even scrolled back up and re-read the inventory of her cooter before realizing that you were talking about the 22 cents. lol…Go ahead and laugh at me.

  • http://infowars.com Domino

    lmao.

  • http://infowars.com Domino

    lmao.

  • http://infowars.com Domino

    lmao.

  • Parrot Toes

    I just spend an agonizing ten minutes checking out your site. It sucks. It’s so blah and le yawn. In fact, I think I need to go take a nap now. My brain feels numb.

  • Parrot Toes

    I just spend an agonizing ten minutes checking out your site. It sucks. It’s so blah and le yawn. In fact, I think I need to go take a nap now. My brain feels numb.

  • Parrot Toes

    I just spend an agonizing ten minutes checking out your site. It sucks. It’s so blah and le yawn. In fact, I think I need to go take a nap now. My brain feels numb.

  • Boughtthefarm

    OMG. That is priceless. And it made my day. Sounds like something I would do. LMAO.

  • Boughtthefarm

    OMG. That is priceless. And it made my day. Sounds like something I would do. LMAO.

  • Boughtthefarm

    OMG. That is priceless. And it made my day. Sounds like something I would do. LMAO.

  • Boughtthefarm

    OMG. That is priceless. And it made my day. Sounds like something I would do. LMAO.

  • Boughtthefarm

    OMG. That is priceless. And it made my day. Sounds like something I would do. LMAO.

  • Parrot Toes

    Another thing, you’re not nearly as sexay as Morbid. I wouldn’t send you my nekkid photos if you paid me. Morbid rules, you drool. :P

  • Anonymous

    It’s probably the ashtray as well.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/September-A-Lukic/1489375367 September A Lukic

    Your site sucks a bag full of dicks, and your writing is crap compared to DD

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/September-A-Lukic/1489375367 September A Lukic

    Please tell me, what did you edit out of the street digest post? I am dieing to know.

  • Anonymous

    Kinda gives a whole new meaning to “you could drive a Mac truck up in there,” doesn’t it?

  • Anonymous

    Your site doesn’t earn the Starkenburg Seal of Approval.

  • Athena

    If the site is even half as retarded as the chosen avatar (I mean, is MySpace hosting “Street Digest”?), you won’t be seeing me drive by for so much as a peek. I’ve got a pretty strict anti-douchebag policy. So, thanks for defiling yourself to confirm my suspicions. Your sacrifice will not be forgotten.

  • Anonymous

    I find it hard to take any site seriously that uses “could of” several times in their articles. Yikes.

  • Boughtthefarm

    SD is just looking for a little mileage on their site. That’s all.

  • Parrot Toes

    Yeah, I was going to leave almost instantly, but I figured that I should give it at least a half decent fair shot. Thanks for your appreciation of my lost time I’ll never be able to recover. I did it for DD.

  • Anonymous

    My guess is it was a link to the site. I wonder if they have some cheap viagra or a way I can make money at home while in my pajamas.

  • Anonymous

    LOL! I had the same thought. She might have a firearm stashed in her left fallopian tube for all we know. Bitch has a fucking U-Stor-It for a vagina forchrissakes. How do you stuff 54 of ANYTHING up your cooch, anyway? That has to show somehow. Did she look pregnant?

  • Anonymous

    So, do you think the look of horror would break into a resigned disgust after the 30th bag of smack, the first handful of empty bags, or after having to count all the pennies?

  • Anonymous

    Shes seems to have gotten her vajayjay and her storage locker mixed up

  • Anonymous

    I’ve had the unfortunate experience of going to your web site to see what all the hub-bub was all about. I just glanced at one of your stories, one paragraph with an attempt at wit thrown in. No follow-up on what happens afterwards, no list of charges shown. Just a link so we can see what you missed.

    Stop trolling and concentrate on your site, because it needs a lot more work to even come close to what The Dreamin’ Demon has always given us on a daily basis.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_YT3XCVN3MHW2XXYB3OWU2A7GBU Patti

    WTF…. buzzkill. I was enjoying this article until you came along and ruined my enjoyment….SPEED ON FUCKERS!
    I will not even lower my standards enough to scroll up to see the name of your lame ass web site.

    “over packed princess”……”stashed in her snatch” Nobody else on earth has this kind of humor!!

  • Zibarro aka Kryssa

    Y’all made my day with your comments! Even “Street Trash” up there ;) In the midst of all the crime, chaos and crap… there is still great humor to be found! I <3 DD!

  • Anonymous

    It would have to be after the pennies. You know how dirty they are….then to pull them out of that deep hole……Nasty! LOL

  • http://infowars.com Domino

    well street digest, after yesterday and today’s evaluation in my humble opinion – i have to say you do have potential. it most certainly is refreshing and it isn’t a blatant rip off of these types of sites. your stories are different and a change of pace. and i absolutely love the whole “urban warfare” theme.

    i have no loyalties, so i can guarantee my opinion comes from honesty. i like your site, there’s a few minor details that i personally would like to see change – like the writing, it could be a bit more in depth (but maybe that’s just your style so whatever), the font (i thought I was an i and not a period – i’m a big on font), the pending comments from a moderator – i really enjoy seeing what everyone likes to say in real time…. minor stuff really, but i’ll pass your site along to friends and family.

  • Anonymous

    Impressive kegel control is all I can say . . . unless she coughed and it all fell out! lmao!

    Did they find Jimmy Hoffa too?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/John-House/1011555524 John House

    Hot damn, it IS fugly. At least DD has an awesome color scheme.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/John-House/1011555524 John House

    TRAITOR. GTFO!

  • Athena

    I’m aware. Precisely why I won’t help them. ;)

  • hershey

    I wonder if it was 51 dollar bills or 51 dollar coins! I hope the money was in a bag and not all loose in there. I would hate to think the money I hand over to my grandkids was from someone’s snatch. (I’m going to start sniffing all my money.)

    Must have used the snack size bags and not the sandwich bags. ;)

    Finally, no one buys heroin for $xx.22. They need to check her rectum, there may be overflow in there, we are missing 78 cents.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_LIO6HZXYEMW6DRGEIMWLQV635Y amberjade11

    Wow. I don’t know what’s is more crazy, the fact that she had to put $51.22 up there (why the change?) or the irony that if she didn’t have the bags of heroine in her pocket then she more than likely wouldn’t of got caught. If she hadn’t put the change up there, maybe she would of had room for the other 3 bags of heroine.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_LIO6HZXYEMW6DRGEIMWLQV635Y amberjade11

    I wonder if she meant to put the $51.22 in her pocket and the 3 bags of heroine in her junk but was so doped up she didn’t know one hole from the other.

  • Pingback: The Pulpit of DOOM – Episode Two | CrimeCrawlers!

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_U5MNWM46AIMXHBH5576SJO546I John

    hey you are a piece of shit…. you already have a place in hell saved for you, hope you enjoy…. stop judging people and start trying to figure your own life out bitch

  • Anonymous

    This really gives me second thoughts about where the cash in my pockets been.
    AND
    I’m gonna think of this story every time I see some clown snortin coke.

    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!

  • DamagedGoods

    Of all the comments trashing this… umm… walking twatpurse… you choose to rant at this?

    Of all the assholes in the world, you figure Zibarro needs to be informed of her imminent place in hell? (Not saying you’re an asshole Zibarro!)

  • Zibarro aka Kryssa

    Wow, John… I feel so … special! Of all the comments on here… you chose MINE to bitch about. Aww. Good to know I can still rile fucktards like you up – even when I don’t comment directly on the subject at hand. LOL

    Exactly *what* part of my comment caused you to get your panties in a wad? Where I called the bitch from “Street Digest” “Street Trash”? Where I complimented my fellow DD’ers on *their* humor?

    Go away.

  • Zibarro aka Kryssa

    Thanks DG. Sometimes I am … but as you’ve pointed out… this wasn’t one of them! lol

    John has issues.

  • Skitz O’Frennick

    So this is the only comment you have ever left on DD trashing Zibarro. Aren’t you too busy writing articles in Street Digest to be posting here anyway?

  • Anonymous

    What does one do with the vaginally removed pennies anyhow….return them? Or is there a box for items removed from vagina like the all too famous “ass box?” Is the ass box even real?

  • Anonymous

    I would watch it

  • Anonymous

    From a member of medical field- the cervix is generally 4-6″ in length….that shit had to be all stretched out to put that much cargo in it

  • Anonymous

    From a member of medical field- the cervix is generally 4-6″ in length….that shit had to be all stretched out to put that much cargo in it

  • Anonymous

    Good point///Why would she keep the empties? Are heroin junkies like cokeheads where they save the bags/vials, and when they have no more coke- they scrape them out? Fuck I just don’t know enough junkies to have the answer…

  • Anonymous

    Shit this started a month ago…its the hip, socially conscious, and economic way to stow your drugs and money…where have you been? All the environmentalist crack whores are doing it. Sure beats a leather wallet.

  • Anonymous

    Shit this started a month ago…its the hip, socially conscious, and economic way to stow your drugs and money…where have you been? All the environmentalist crack whores are doing it. Sure beats a leather wallet.

  • Anonymous

    Or overnight bags? Toss a curling iron, hair dryer, shampoo, and a change of clothes up that thang and girl you are ready to jet set.

  • Anonymous

    Or overnight bags? Toss a curling iron, hair dryer, shampoo, and a change of clothes up that thang and girl you are ready to jet set.

  • Anonymous

    Or overnight bags? Toss a curling iron, hair dryer, shampoo, and a change of clothes up that thang and girl you are ready to jet set.

  • Anonymous

    Yeah with 500 Pall Mall Unfiltered butts in it. You know this white trash bitch smokes some hard core cigarettes as well while washing down her Pabst Blue Ribbon in between snorting/shooting bags of dope that she pulls from her box.

  • Anonymous

    Oh no that comment got me thinking…Did they check her asshole too? You never know there might be a druglord, his family, and a street gang up there.

  • Anonymous

    We’re both pretty lucky not to have firsthand knowledge!

  • Anonymous

    We’re both pretty lucky not to have firsthand knowledge!

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_5WYTW5UWWTGEKN4L2HBZ7I4E5E Zazen

    She kept the empties because it pays to recycle, duh! =D

  • http://profiles.google.com/ceisdsgil ceisd sgil

    I don’t understand, does she not have any sensation down there? I mean I dunno how the rest of the ladies feel about this, but c’mon ffs.. it’s a vagina, not a purse. It’s not meant to ‘stash your cash’.

    ~shadow