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Minneapolis, MN — 39-year-old Stacey Champion has been charged with animal cruelty after police and postal workers say she tried to air-mail a 4-month-old puppy to Atlanta in a sealed box.

Champion walked into a downtown Minneapolis post office last Tuesday and paid $22 to ship a box to Georgia. Before the transaction was finalized, she was asked the standard questions about the box’s contents: Anything perishable, liquid or hazardous? Champion reportedly answered no, but cautioned post office employees to be very careful while handling the package as the contents were very delicate. Oh, and if the contents made any noise, pay no mind…it was just a toy robot.

Employees grew suspicious when the box began moving and making panting noises. A call was made to the postal inspector and permission was given to open the box. Inside, without food or water, a 4-month-old schnauzer/poodle mix dubbed “Guess.” The schnoodle was panting hard when released from what could have been his cardboard coffin, and greedily sucked down the water given to him by post office employees. Had the humans not intervened, Guess most certainly would have been dead upon arrival in Georgia.

“It’s just crazy,” said Minneapolis Police Sgt. Angela Dodge. The air holes the woman punched in the box were covered up with mailing tape, and the priority mail trip would have taken at least two days, she said. “It was supposed to be a birthday gift for a family member. It would have been kind of traumatizing to get a dead puppy,” Dodge said. “If you don’t identify it so that it can be handled properly, it goes into the cargo hold of an airplane. It gets 40 below in those cargo planes that get up 40,000 feet. And there was no food or water. Puppies can’t go for long periods without food or water.”

Champion hasn’t yet told police why she decided to mail the puppy, but she did return to the post office to demand a refund on the $22 she paid to have the critter shipped. She also wanted a small amount of money she had attached to a makeshift dog collar returned to her. Her refund was denied. “We asked her, don’t you want to know about your puppy?” said Thompson Ojoyeyi, Loring Station post office supervisor. “But she said no. She just wanted her money back.”

When informed by postal workers that Guess more than likely would have died at some point during the journey, Champion reportedly just rolled her eyes. And at that point, I woulda just shoved a dull pencil directly into one of ’em.

She’s been charged with misdemeanor animal cruelty, but could face more serious federal charges of trying to ship live animals in the U.S. Mail. Guess is alive and healthy and in the custody of animal control. Video after the jump, yo.

Mailed Puppy Alive & Well at Minneapolis Animal Control: MyFoxTWINCITIES.com

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