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Idiot Charged With Animal Cruelty After Trying To Air Mail Puppy In Sealed BoxMinneapolis, MN – 39-year-old Stacey Champion has been charged with animal cruelty after police and postal workers say she tried to air-mail a 4-month-old puppy to Atlanta in a sealed box.

Champion walked into a downtown Minneapolis post office last Tuesday and paid $22 to ship a box to Georgia. Before the transaction was finalized, she was asked the standard questions about the box’s contents: Anything perishable, liquid or hazardous? Champion reportedly answered no, but cautioned post office employees to be very careful while handling the package as the contents were very delicate. Oh, and if the contents made any noise, pay no mind…it was just a toy robot.

Employees grew suspicious when the box began moving and making panting noises. A call was made to the postal inspector and permission was given to open the box. Inside, without food or water, a 4-month-old schnauzer/poodle mix dubbed “Guess.” The schnoodle was panting hard when released from what could have been his cardboard coffin, and greedily sucked down the water given to him by post office employees. Had the humans not intervened, Guess most certainly would have been dead upon arrival in Georgia.

“It’s just crazy,” said Minneapolis Police Sgt. Angela Dodge. The air holes the woman punched in the box were covered up with mailing tape, and the priority mail trip would have taken at least two days, she said. “It was supposed to be a birthday gift for a family member. It would have been kind of traumatizing to get a dead puppy,” Dodge said. “If you don’t identify it so that it can be handled properly, it goes into the cargo hold of an airplane. It gets 40 below in those cargo planes that get up 40,000 feet. And there was no food or water. Puppies can’t go for long periods without food or water.”

Champion hasn’t yet told police why she decided to mail the puppy, but she did return to the post office to demand a refund on the $22 she paid to have the critter shipped. She also wanted a small amount of money she had attached to a makeshift dog collar returned to her. Her refund was denied. “We asked her, don’t you want to know about your puppy?” said Thompson Ojoyeyi, Loring Station post office supervisor. “But she said no. She just wanted her money back.”

When informed by postal workers that Guess more than likely would have died at some point during the journey, Champion reportedly just rolled her eyes. And at that point, I woulda just shoved a dull pencil directly into one of ‘em.

She’s been charged with misdemeanor animal cruelty, but could face more serious federal charges of trying to ship live animals in the U.S. Mail. Guess is alive and healthy and in the custody of animal control. Video after the jump, yo.

Mailed Puppy Alive & Well at Minneapolis Animal Control: MyFoxTWINCITIES.com

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  • Anonymous

    thank God those people working at the post office noticed the box moving and saved that little puppy. the woman will only get a slap on the wrist

  • Pingback: Tweets that mention Idiot Charged With Animal Cruelty After Trying To Air-Mail Puppy In Sealed Box - The Dreamin Demon -- Topsy.com

  • http://www.facebook.com/dre.mosley Dre Mosley

    Wow. Unbelievable. The recipient would have received a box containing a dog carcass, piss, and dogshit. Happy Birthday!

    She gets caught doing something really stupid, and then turns into this cold bitch over it. Amazing.

  • Anonymous

    Got up this morning, got some coffee, showered, got more coffee, and thought I’d spend some quality time with DD. I gotta say (ONLY because the dog is completely unharmed) that this is hysterical. The woman’s complete indifference (beginning, middle, ending) is just so amazing that if this were fiction it couldn’t be sold. WOW!

    I guess there are two lessons here:
    1. Don’t let this woman be near any animals not on the dinner plate.
    2. Don’t open any gifts from this woman around the kids.

    I think the USPS laws when enforced will make her feel alot of compassion, but probably only because she is being unfairly picked on.

  • Anonymous

    What a friggin’ idiot.

  • Anonymous

    Jesus tapdancing Christ. Please let me punch the living shit out of this dumbass.

  • Eracsurfer

    Only if you promise to punch her squarely in the throat. Then pack her in a box and mail her to me so I can do the same.

  • Anonymous

    Oh.My.God. New levels of stupidity have been reached by the human race.

  • Anonymous

    If you think this level is new, then there is a need for a historical crime DD.

  • Anonymous

    Sigh…you know, if euthanizing the chroniclly stupid was legal it would help our overall gene pool and decrease the surplus population. In other news…I would have choked that twatmuffin with my bare hands!!!

  • http://twitter.com/e2ika Erika

    What a moron! Glad the puppy is safe now.
    I laughed at 1:58 in the video.

  • http://infowars.com Domino

    <3 the army of anon's. now if only they could get the right person.

  • Jury

    What a cheap bitch!

  • guillotinegirl

    I would suggest she mail cockroaches instead next time, as I’m pretty sure they would make it alive. Not sure the recipient would be very happy, though.

  • Farce_scape

    Well, IDK…
    Maybe if she springs for the fancy “hissing” variety of cockroach, it’ll kick the gift up a notch or two?
    Oh. wait.
    Hissing cockroaches make noise inside sealed boxes…
    Better remind her to quiet em’ down with a shot of ‘Raid’ before mailing.

  • Anonymous

    and then to me, i ll forward her to whoever wants “it” next! and i promise i wont put any water, food or even a breath hole!

  • Anonymous

    and then to me, i ll forward her to whoever wants “it” next! and i promise i wont put any water, food or even a breath hole!

  • Anonymous

    and then to me, i ll forward her to whoever wants “it” next! and i promise i wont put any water, food or even a breath hole!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/John-House/1011555524 John House

    This reminds me of a story one of my friends told me about working at UPS. A sad story…

    …so one day she was working the boxes to move them down the line and there was one box that was 1) awkwardly heavy and 2) stank to high Hell, so they took it off the line and since it seemed to also be leaking, they opened it. Inside? A litter of lab puppies. All dead. Because some fucktarded asshole moron like the cunt in this story thought that they could ship puppies in a sealed box without consequences.

    This happened at least ten years ago, so it’s nice to see that some fucktarded asshole morons have yet to evolve past drooling on themselves….

  • Anonymous

    Hahahahahaha I laughed so hard at 1:58 too!

  • Anonymous

    I feel awful for the other Stacy. Good thing my last name isn’t common (even though I found it once on this site *gulp*).

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Jaded

    She apparently wants the puppy back….

    “In the four years that I’ve been here, we never had a person appeal after an animal was impounded because of animal cruelty,” said Dan Niziolek, manager for Minneapolis’ Animal Care and Control. Of course, city officials can’t remember ever handling a case in which someone tried to send a puppy through the mail, either.

    In appealing the case, Champion had to pay about $250 in fees for the city to kennel and care for the puppy. If she loses her case before the administrative hearing officer, the puppy would be put up for adoption or she could take her case to the Court of Appeals, Niziolek said. But Champion would have to pay the city $15 a day for the puppy’s care until her case was resolved.

    Champion also needs to resolve the criminal case for animal cruelty in Hennepin County District Court. Even if she wins the puppy back during her appeal, a judge could restrict her ownership of animals, Niziolek said.

    http://www.startribune.com/local/115244019.html?elr=KArksLckD8EQDUoaEyqyP4O:DW3ckUiD3aPc:_Yyc:aUac8HEaDiaMDCinchO7DUs

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Jaded

    She apparently wants the puppy back….

    “In the four years that I’ve been here, we never had a person appeal after an animal was impounded because of animal cruelty,” said Dan Niziolek, manager for Minneapolis’ Animal Care and Control. Of course, city officials can’t remember ever handling a case in which someone tried to send a puppy through the mail, either.

    In appealing the case, Champion had to pay about $250 in fees for the city to kennel and care for the puppy. If she loses her case before the administrative hearing officer, the puppy would be put up for adoption or she could take her case to the Court of Appeals, Niziolek said. But Champion would have to pay the city $15 a day for the puppy’s care until her case was resolved.

    Champion also needs to resolve the criminal case for animal cruelty in Hennepin County District Court. Even if she wins the puppy back during her appeal, a judge could restrict her ownership of animals, Niziolek said.

    http://www.startribune.com/local/115244019.html?elr=KArksLckD8EQDUoaEyqyP4O:DW3ckUiD3aPc:_Yyc:aUac8HEaDiaMDCinchO7DUs

  • Wildheart

    I hope they tell her to go suck a dick!

  • Wildheart

    I hope they tell her to go suck a dick!

  • Wildheart

    She’s not going to get the dog back thank god….

    The Minneapolis woman cited for attempting to mail a puppy will not get the animal back despite her determined appeal, a city administrative hearing officer decided Monday in a case that has received national attention.

    When handing down his decision, Administrative Hearing Officer Fabian Hoffner told Champion that her actions were “disgraceful. You cannot tell me you thought you were doing the right thing.”

    Earlier in the proceedings, Champion admitted to the hearing officer that she did try to send the puppy via the U.S. Postal Service.

    “Yes, I mailed a puppy to my son,” Champion said. “I wanted to surprise him really, really good.”

    Champion was asked what made her think it was acceptable to ship a puppy through the mail. She said there was no sign at the post office telling her what can or cannot be shipped.

    “I ship, and they deliver,” she told Hoffner.

    http://www.azcentral.com/offbeat/articles/2011/02/07/20110207minneapolis-mailed-puppy-woman.html

    There’s no sign telling you not to mail people either, idiot, would you think that’s ok to do too?!? No wonder her son doesn’t live with her!

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