ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — For the life of me I have no clue how this story slipped by me. A woman in New Mexico claims a Sunflower Market employee tricked her into eating sperm.
She claims that 31-year-old Anthony Garcia asked if she’d like to try a yogurt sample. Once in her mouth, she claims the sample tasted suspiciously like semen and like a woman I would never call back for a second date, promptly spit the “yogurt” out on the floor before calling police.
They were able to recover the sample and send it off to the crime lab for testing, but were not able to charge Garcia with a crime as he claimed there was nothing wrong with the yogurt. But turns out police were able to take him to jail for something else entirely.
Seems Garcia is wanted by police on two outstanding bench warrants. One for failure to appear for an arraignment on two counts of criminal sexual contact of a minor. No word on how long it will take for the test results to come back (heh), but if it does prove positive for any form of bodily fluid, Garcia could be facing battery charges.
I noticed that in the comment section of pretty much every news article out there about this, some idiots try to be clever by asking, “How did she know what semen taste like? Hmm?” Like it’s a shameful thing she’s cool enough to let a man shoot a wad in her mouth. Prudes.