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Seattle, WA — Duane Starkenburg admits that he goes to the park every day to watch women run – he likes to watch them “jiggle and bounce.” What’s more, according to authorities, he kinda likes to rub his nose in their asses, too.

The first incident happened way back in August. A woman told police she was jogging with her dog in the park near Coleman Pool when a man she had just passed tripped, grabbing her hips as he fell. “He did a face plant in my butt,” she told detectives. “And lingered for a few moments.” When she broke free of the man, she looked back and saw him staring at his hands in confusion. “It was an act. He was like, ‘What just happened,” the woman said.

Another victim told police that on December 8, she was walking up the stairs to reach the parking lot of the park when a man appeared at the foot of the stairs “out of nowhere.” As he passed her on the stairs, he pleaded for help, claiming he had been injured while running or something. The woman offered to help him to the top of the stairs, and as she was doing so, the man got behind her, grabbed her hips and buried his head in her butt. “I screamed,” the woman told investigators. “His nose was up in my butt. I was very shocked.” After she broke free and started to run off, she saw the man laying face down on the ground, saying, “Oh my God, I can’t believe I did that. I’m sorry.” Again, he acted like the whole thing was an accident.

In the latest incident, a woman claims she was attacked in a similar fashion while jogging through the park last Tuesday. The victim told police a man ran up from behind her and tried to tackle her by throwing his arms around her legs, allegedly grabbing the front of her thighs and sliding down to her ankles. She kicked herself free and fled, as did the alleged booty bandit…but he didn’t get far.

Starkenburg was apprehended at the park and was later identified by all three women as being the man who invaded their personal space. When questioned, he reportedly told detectives that the latest incident was just an accident – he slipped and fell, see? When questioned about the incident that occurred in December, well, he slipped and fell into her, too. “It’s not like I drag the women into the bushes and rape them” Starkenburg said. He denies having a “balance” problem and when one detective asked why he gets so close to women in the park, he reportedly replied, “I can’t answer that.”

In court on Wednesday, Starkenburg pleaded not guilty to misdemeanor assault for the latest incident. He’s facing additional charges of indecent liberties and attempted indecent liberties in the previous incidents. His parents posted $150,000 bail and he was released on Thursday. He insists he’s innocent, telling reporters outside the courthouse, “It’s not like I’m this guy who puts on makeup and is running around attacking women.” Makeup? What the…. ?

Starkenburg’s priors include second-degree felony assault, reckless driving and malicious mischief. He gives great interview…you can check it out here.

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  • Parrot Toes

    Ugh. So, is a fart foreplay for him or is that the pièce de résistance?

  • Parrot Toes

    Ugh. So, is a fart foreplay for him or is that the pièce de résistance?

  • Parrot Toes

    Ugh. So, is a fart foreplay for him or is that the pièce de résistance?

  • Parrot Toes

    Ugh. So, is a fart foreplay for him or is that the pièce de résistance?

  • Parrot Toes

    Ugh. So, is a fart foreplay for him or is that the pièce de résistance?

  • Parrot Toes

    Ugh. So, is a fart foreplay for him or is that the pièce de résistance?

  • Parrot Toes

    Ugh. So, is a fart foreplay for him or is that the pièce de résistance?

  • Anonymous

    Not to make light of what he’s doing as I do feel bad for the women, but damn! That’s some funny stuff. Great title.

  • Anonymous

    I couldn’t help myself from laughing as I read this….. “he is the true flat faced butt sniffer”…….. somebody should have grabbed his head, held it there and suffocated his ass. LMAO

  • Canuck Gramz

    Some guy tried to grab hubby’s daughter ( in her 20s then) while she was jogging at public track. It scared the crap out of her and us!! She wasn’t sure she should report it! We told her she probably wasn’t the only one and maybe the next one ( or last one?) was raped or worse, so she needed to phone the cops. We lived in the next province. Poor thing phoned the police, made her statement and then phoned us to cry some more. I wish we’d been there to support her physically. Hubby wished he could go that track and find that guy and give him a lesson in face surfing on the running track, aided by a raging out dad i steel toed work boots.

    Sometimes these weirdos are basically harmless ( except to the poor girls’ peace of mind!) but some turn out to be rapists and killers.

    But ass sniffing? And then his lame ” oops I fell”? What a tool!

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  • Farce_scape

    Maybe this guy thinks he’s a dog… literally???
    I can think of no other animal that routinely endeavors to sniff strangers’ asses at the local park!

    All kidding aside… I find the fake ‘injury’ ruse to be particularly creepy, though.
    It was one of the known tactics used by Ted Bundy to lure his female victims.

    People also don’t come up with their responses to questions in a vacuum, either, so his statement:
    “It’s not like I drag the women into the bushes and rape them”
    Tells me that this is EXACTLY what his ass groping would have escalated to, had he not been caught…
    Glad he was!

  • guillotinegirl

    What’s the difference between ass kissing and brown nosing? Depth perception.

  • Shannah G

    “May I have your ass…istance, please?”

  • Anonymous

    i like how in the video he tries to use “the people at the drunk tank” as a character reference

    also, it’s creepy how he tries to state that women jogging in spandex are basically asking for it

  • Angie


    That dude has some, er.. issues. What the HELL was he talking about in that interview?? Did he really say something about “using a little boy with a patch” to protect yourself from someone with a weapon?? WTF? Oh, and he was in jail and hadn’t eaten in several days. Damn our country, they don’t feed inmates anymore!!?

    I had to laugh every time he started to leave, then stopped and asked if there were any more questions. I’m afraid I could never be a reporter, because things like this would have me laughing too hard to do my job. And I’d have to be a smartass and ask something like, “Did you eat a lot of paint chips as a kid? Because you sound like a ‘tard.”

    Aside from all that, I can only imagine how utterly creeped out I’d be if some freak stuffed his face in my ass. I know a lot of men are dogs, but seriously, you don’t have to literally smell people’s asses to prove it.

  • Farce_scape

    Your story about your stepdaughter, made me wonder how many other women this psycho tackled at the park, etc., who DIDN’T report what happened…

    If other women were largely left unhurt, and were unsure whether or not it really WAS just a ‘freaky accident’ that his face ended up planted in their ass… I could see some victims ‘just letting it go’, rather than reporting it, even if the incident left them feeling very shaken or uncomfortable.

    I’m glad to hear your step-daughter was able to get away from her attacker.
    And, kudos to you guys, convincing her to file a report, even though she was hesitant to do so!
    I fear that too many freaks get away with creepy shit, only to escalate to really serious sexual assaults or worse, before being reported and/or caught!

  • Anonymous

    The problem is that he does it without asking… cause I have no problem & quite enjoy it when MY HUSBAND does it.

  • Lisa Zalewski

    I should not read D’D @ work.
    I laughed so loud at this.

  • Parrot Toes


    What what in the butt? A nose in the butt. I said what what in the butt? His nose in the butt.

    I think that song finally has its’ place.

  • John House


    LMAO. Talk about a dude with some true lovin’s for the ass stank.

  • Anonymous

    Well done for encouraging your husbands daughter to report the attempt. As Farce-scape and you point out, it is quite possible that there are many other women who have had similar bad experiences and at the very least it will tell the police they need to keep and eye out in that general area.

    I once reported a man who put his hand up my crotch from behind as I was walking home from an editorial meeting early one evening. What really got me about the reactions I had from fellow students was that so many of them had had similar experiences and they hadn’t reported it because a) they were a bit tipsy at the time, b) they were wearing a short skirt at the time, c) “nothing” happened, d) they didn’t see him to recognise in a line-up, so what was the point in wasting police time, or e) combinations of any of the above.

    Since d) was true for me as well, I had been uncertain whether it was worth taking to the police; but talking to those fellow students sure made me determined to report it, and though I did feel a bit silly when I had to tell them there was no point in showing me any mug-shots they thanked me for making the report, took down what I could tell them and explained that this would help establish a pattern if the creep did it again (or something worse) and that it would also help them decide which areas to patrol more heavily.

    I don’t think they ever caught him, but it wasn’t for lack of trying on my part.

  • Anonymous

    He didn’t inhale, so he still has a political career ahead of him.

  • Anonymous

    I’m so glad they caught him before he put his makeup on and made for the bushes.

  • Coyote

    The dude is 46 years old and his parents are bailing him out of jail; that says a lot right there.

  • Anonymous

    My boss would hire this man in a heartbeat! She loves brown nosers – the deeper the better!! This man could have a very bright future!

  • Anonymous

    a “like”. but only cuz your avatar makes me lol.

  • cecil91

    This guy needs to strapped facing up and blindfolded at the bottom of a women’s outhouse where he can get a real serious wuff, and more than a phew splats

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