Good day, sickos. I want to thank all of you for your calls and emails inquiring about my well-being and offering sex at various public parks. But fear not, I am just on a much-deserved, much-needed vacation. Although I am off this week, I will be writing up some stuff off and on while finally being able to focus on some DD house cleaning. I'll also have time to respond to some of you interested in writing. In the meantime, be sure to check out the forums for the latest in terrible news.

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Lexington, NC – Lonnie Michael Felts, 42, was arrested Sunday and charged with abuse of the Davidson County 911 emergency system after repeatedly dialing 911 to request a hooker.

According to authorities, Felts called 911 three separate times on Sunday. The first time he called, Felts reportedly requested “a hooker and an escort to get boots.” An officer was dispatched to the bobblehead’s home to school him on the consequences of misusing the 911 system. Not that you could tell by looking at him or anything, but Felts just might be a slow learner.

A second call was placed to 911. In that call, Felts requested the number to the county jail. He was again warned not to use 911 for non-emergency calls. His persistence failed to pay off – after his third call, and a repeated request for a hooker, Felts was shackled and hauled off. He remains behind bars on a $2,000 secured bond. Police believe drugs/and or alcohol may have been a factor in Felts’ behavior.

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  • Anonymous

    K, the story made me kinda chuckle and be annoyed at the same time (911 saved my mom’s life once, and if this asshole had impeded that I would have had to get a bit stabby with him). But the mug shot… HAAAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA*snort*HAHAHAHAAHAHAAAAA!!! =D

  • Anonymous

    Another “human” that needs the words DUMBASS tattooed on his forehead. You know like the tramp stamp.

  • Pyncky

    What’s with the blue page of links that comes up first?

  • Anonymous

    Not the sharpest knife in the drawer – but maybe an emergency hooker hot-line eould be a good idea.

  • Anonymous

    He doesn’t just need a hooker. He needs a blind hooker.

  • guillotinegirl

    Felts gots welts!

  • Anonymous

    Before I looked at the picture, I read my email and thought to myself “ok…this is gonna be bad. If I were a hooker, is there any amount of money I would consider to have sex with this guy.” *click on link* *GASP!!!* I nearly spit my water all over the f-ing place! It/he/whatever just kind of reminded me of Brain from Pinky and the Brain. I bet some hooker is thankful he never got through to her that night.

  • Anonymous

    Before I looked at the picture, I read my email and thought to myself “ok…this is gonna be bad. If I were a hooker, is there any amount of money I would consider to have sex with this guy.” *click on link* *GASP!!!* I nearly spit my water all over the f-ing place! It/he/whatever just kind of reminded me of Brain from Pinky and the Brain. I bet some hooker is thankful he never got through to her that night.

  • Anonymous

    Turtle turtle !