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Bloomington, MN– Stephanie Moreland, 46, is a whole lotta woman and she’s got the big-girl panties to prove it. On New Year’s Eve day, an employee at the Alaskan Fur Company noticed Morreland was acting suspiciously while her accomplice tried to distract the store’s employees. When the employee spotted Moreland kneeling on the floor and a $6500 short mink coat was missing from the rack, she confronted Moreland. Moreland denied having the coat. She then pulled up her dress, showed the employee her bare ass, and took off out of the store. After what I am sure was a temporary loss of vision, the employee was somehow able to write down the license plate on the getaway car that Moreland, her accomplice, and a third person drove off in. Police pulled over the car later that day and searched the vehicle. Inside the car they found a hanger from the store, but no coat. Moreland admitted to stealing the coat, but denied that she still had it in her possession. Moreland was arrested and taken to jail where she was given a pat-down search and submitted to a metal detector test. She was then placed in a holding cell still wearing her street clothes which is normal procedure.

Beings there were no female officers on duty at the time, Moreland was not given a more intimate search, i. e. her snatch patch. Moreland spent the entire holiday weekend in jail, eating, sleeping and even visiting the bathroom. When Monday morning rolled around, she was questioned again about the missing mink, and she still denied knowing where the coat was. But when a detective informed Moreland she’d be taking a trip to Minneapolis to face charges in Hennepin County Court, Moreland pulled up her dress and whipped the fur coat out from her stench trench. Yes, Demonites. Moreland, who tips the scales at 270 lbs., had modified her undies by cutting the rear out of her underwear so that it looked like she was not wearing any from behind. The missing mink had been stuffed in front of her muff for the entire three days she spent behind bars. Moreland was charged with felony theft and released after posting $10,000 bail. Obviously, the store no longer plans on selling the funky fur.

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