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Bloomington, MN– Stephanie Moreland, 46, is a whole lotta woman and she’s got the big-girl panties to prove it. On New Year’s Eve day, an employee at the Alaskan Fur Company noticed Morreland was acting suspiciously while her accomplice tried to distract the store’s employees. When the employee spotted Moreland kneeling on the floor and a $6500 short mink coat was missing from the rack, she confronted Moreland. Moreland denied having the coat. She then pulled up her dress, showed the employee her bare ass, and took off out of the store. After what I am sure was a temporary loss of vision, the employee was somehow able to write down the license plate on the getaway car that Moreland, her accomplice, and a third person drove off in. Police pulled over the car later that day and searched the vehicle. Inside the car they found a hanger from the store, but no coat. Moreland admitted to stealing the coat, but denied that she still had it in her possession. Moreland was arrested and taken to jail where she was given a pat-down search and submitted to a metal detector test. She was then placed in a holding cell still wearing her street clothes which is normal procedure.

Beings there were no female officers on duty at the time, Moreland was not given a more intimate search, i. e. her snatch patch. Moreland spent the entire holiday weekend in jail, eating, sleeping and even visiting the bathroom. When Monday morning rolled around, she was questioned again about the missing mink, and she still denied knowing where the coat was. But when a detective informed Moreland she’d be taking a trip to Minneapolis to face charges in Hennepin County Court, Moreland pulled up her dress and whipped the fur coat out from her stench trench. Yes, Demonites. Moreland, who tips the scales at 270 lbs., had modified her undies by cutting the rear out of her underwear so that it looked like she was not wearing any from behind. The missing mink had been stuffed in front of her muff for the entire three days she spent behind bars. Moreland was charged with felony theft and released after posting $10,000 bail. Obviously, the store no longer plans on selling the funky fur.

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  • Anonymous

    How clever! A mink merkin!

    No one would have EVER thought to search THERE on HER! lmao!

  • Anonymous

    I hear discount. This is so not the time to sell my mink on ebay.

  • Anonymous

    Hmmm… Could you imagine the bad feedback on ebay regarding the sale of the stolen mink? Oh yeah, but if sold in the adult section of ebay you might just get cudos and top dollar if you send a picture of the temptress.

  • It would be more appropriate if it was beaver fur as opposed to mink.

  • FlamingFox

    I’m pretty sure it smelled something like a Beaver afterwards. More than likely, a dead one, but still a Beaverish aroma. 😉

  • Anonymous

    Normally, I’m not amused by thefts, but I gotta give big girl props.. she was creative. I don’t wanna laugh but I can’t help myself lol.

  • Anonymous

    Thank you FlamingFox for the write up that made me laugh the ass of my panties off!

  • Anonymous

    Thank you FlamingFox for the write up that made me laugh the ass of my panties off!

  • that…. is…. horrifying.

  • Anonymous

    I wonder if ” Skank” has a smell .That poor fur didn’t deserve that.

  • KB

    There are just no words to express what I feel about this woman and her theivery. Only faces to make..like eww face…and huh?!? face…and need to throw up face…shudder face…back to eww face…
    She should be ashamed as hell of herself.

  • Anonymous

    You know it’s time to call Jenny Craig if you can hide a mink coat for 3 days in your FUPA.

  • It’s very rare that an article’s content makes my stomach feel like it’s flipping.

    This is one of those rare times.

  • Anonymous

    Are you sure it was a coat and not a stole? 😛

    (I crack me up)

  • Anonymous

    This is my favorite “hilarious” story, hands down. It fulfills every racially-motivated negative stereotype I have of large uneducated black women.

  • Anonymous

    What I don’t understand is how dry cleaning it was gonna get the vaginal smell that coat was impregnated with…

    Yeah because no one would know/guess that she wasn’t able to afford a MINK coat while living in the projects… Damn! A cow looks prettier than her.

    BTW, have you noticed that in her mugshot she’s trying not to smirk?

    She must’ve shaved her brillo pad snatch in order to hide something that big without arising suspicions…

  • Anonymous

    Quoting my husband: “Imagine the cheese all over that coat… stench trench, I haven’t heard that one before… Could you imagine the shape of that coat when she pulled it out!? Never mind that, how big is her vagina!?”

    This was about 15mins of our life together wasted discussing the woman’s brillo pad purse.

  • aka jas

    That is just terrible. I got the nasty chills from thinking about the moment the cop questioning saw her pull the mink out. Oh my goodness. That is awful.

  • Bulletproof

    Oh hell to the fuck no… I just CAN’T with this story.

  • Thank you FlamingFox … now I know not to buy it if I happen to see a short mink coat going for almost nothing on Craigslist.