Masturbating Peeper Tells Cop He’s Alone And Desperate

January 4, 2011 at 9:14 am by Jaded  

Hollywood, FL — A distraught woman called 911 early Saturday morning and informed a dispatcher that there was a strange man standing outside of her apartment, peering in her bedroom window – the woman feared the man was fixin’ to break in, so she was holed up inside her laundry room. When an officer arrived on scene, he found 35-year-old Juan Miguel Cuadra standing outside the window making sweet, sweet love to his hand. As the officer approached the wanker, he kindly asked him to put his hands were he could see ‘em. Cuadra zipped his fly and attempted to walk away. The officer ordered him to stick around and answer a few questions. Cuadra first told the officer that the woman inside the apartment was his ex-girlfriend. He then changed his story and said she was actually a co-worker. He finally admitted to the officer that he didn’t know the woman at all, he just hadn’t had a “girlfriend for a while and was desperate.” There ya go ladies, he’s single. There might be a bit of a wait, though…he was taken into custody and charged with indecent exposure, voyeurism and loitering/prowling.

12 Comments

• 

• Tweet