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Man Busted For Masturbating While Watching Harry Potter In Theater

November 30, 2010 at 2:56 pm by  

Bluffton, SC – Bluffton police were summoned to the Sea Turtle Cinemas yesterday afternoon after staff members reportedly spotted one of the movie goers manipulating his Muggle as Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows played up on the big screen. When officers arrived on scene, theater employees escorted them to a projection booth where the movie was being shown. From that vantage point, officers were able to look into the back row where they observed a white male, later identified as 39-year-old Alexander Ofner, excitedly airing out his junk. Officers then entered the theater, made contact with their knuckle shufflin’ suspect, shackled him, charged him with felony indecent exposure and transported him to the Beaufort County Detention Center. I’m sure I’m in the minority here, but I haven’t watched an entire Harry Potter movie since the damn things came out. Are the movies fap worthy? Am I missing something?

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10 Comments

    Comments


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    • http://theflamingfox.wordpress.com/ FlamingFox

      The wand chooses the wizard, Jaded. ;)

    • oOXColdmoonXOo

      O.o I like the series. But not quite that much.

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/deadskinmask213 deadskinmask213

      I used to fool around with my girlfriends in movie theaters. Usually the cheap $1.50 movie theater where we were basicaly the only ones there. Never thought about going solo in a theater though.

    • SatanEatsCheeseWhiz

      haha… at least Pee-Wee Herman had the decency to fire off some knuckle children in an adult /porn theater.

    • http://theflamingfox.wordpress.com/ FlamingFox

      In addition to my first comment, which got messed up and DD kindly sent me an error message which turned out to be blank (big help there) was that he was probably practicing his wand work. Possibly an engorgement spell. ;)

    • fAcE

      I saw the HP movie and it was OK, but definitley NOT orgasmic. LOTR is another matter entirely. Elves make me horny.

    • http://www.nimbusters.org NEWMAN

      Thats why I always wear my raincoat

    • John Q. Public

      I watch half a Harry Potter movie once. Put me to sleep… Maybe this guy likes the actors. Might have been smarter to wait for the DVD.

    • JGo555

      Since the HP kid is mostly in the whole movie… does that make him a paedophile? I’ve read the books & RE READ them more than 5 times… the movies SUCK.

    • Nurse Ronda

      Wow,some Love Harry Potter more than others, Guess this guy Loved Harry Potter more than others.