Home > Assault > Man Allegedly Assaults Wife After She Eats All The French Fries

Man Allegedly Assaults Wife After She Eats All The French Fries

November 18, 2010 at 8:05 am by Jaded

Martin County, FL – Police were called to the home of 32-year-old Fernando Guzman Cruz last week after receiving a complaint about a domestic assault. They made contact with the complainant, his 51-year-old wife, who reported Fernando was “enraged because she ate all the French fries.” That will get you stabbed in my house. Anyway, an intoxicated Fernando reportedly yelled at her, cussed at her, and started throwing their belongings around the trailer. He then picked up a 12″ wooden bat and started swinging but missed. The woman said she attempted to leave the trailer three times, but he locked the door and threw her on their living room bed. Once she was down, Fernando allegedly popped her in the foot and calf with his little sissy bat. He has been arrested and booked on charges of false imprisonment with a weapon, domestic battery and domestic assault. A bond amount has not yet been made available. This is the 5th time in two years that Fernando has been picked up for domestic assault, and this is the 5th time his wife has refused to press charges.

Tags: domestic assault, domestic battery, false imprisonment, Florida, Martin County

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Proud Wife

I wonder if they were McDonalds frnch fries? I mean people go crazy over their McNuggets…….
Proud Wife

* french fries

No edit button?
http://www.nimbusters.org NEWMAN

Good thing she didn’t eat all the tacos!
Sister Iroz

I bet she shares from now on.

“This is the 5th time in two years that Fernando has been picked up for domestic assault, and this is the 5th time his wife has refused to press charges.”

WTF, is wrong with her.
SatanEatsCheeseWhiz

My husband wouldn’t assault me over FF’s. Well, I don’t think so… When I make FF’s or any other fried potato, I better either set some aside or sit down and eat ‘em quickly. He has a couple, what I consider, odd eating habits and in the case of fried potatoes, they MUST be eaten IMMEDIATELY without the chance to get cold! Same thing w/ crab Rangoon.

Those of you who love McD’s fries, check this out:
http://aht.seriouseats.com/archives/2010/05/the-burger-lab-how-to-make-perfect-mcdonalds-style-french-fries.html It’s a process but they come out really good!

Yeah, miss the edit button too.
deadskinmask213

Careful Fernando you might break her hip! It may be a good idea for her to invest in lifealert so that when he commences with the beatings at least she can push the button. Help my husband has beaten me for the five hundred and fourtyeth time and I cant get up! This lady is old enough to know what a bad relationship is. It’s on her 5 times in 2yrs she must love it and as far as the granny basher goes it makes me want to break out my Louisville Slugger and show him how a real baseball bat feels.
JGo555

He’s 32 & she’s 51… apparently she’s trying to commit assisted suicide by having Fernando pop her dead.

He looks all skinny & nerdy (although most likely he drank all his neurons away) & he was probably picked last in gym class since he can’t swing & hit something so big as his mexican-tamale-loving-hot-sauce-chugging- wife. And I’m latina so I am allowed to say this without sounding extremely racists.
http://www.dreamindemon.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=12 Athena

If you’re not going to press charges, DON’T CALL THE FUCKING COPS. You’re just wasting tax dollars and preventing the cops from pursuing real crimes.
WryBread

Who married this man? Is the woman blind? What an ugly little piece of genetics. And I agree with Athena — the cops aren’t there to help you argue with hubby, so stop calling them.