Seneca, SC — Don’t you just hate it when you have one of those Mondays? You know, the kind where you’re called out to a burglary in progress and end up ‘rasslin around with a doped up nekkid guy who, for one reason or another, has a mouse stuck up his butt? A few of the deputies from the Oconee County sheriff’s department know exactly what kind of Monday I’m talking about. After receiving a complaint about a possible home invasion, officers made contact with the suspected burglar, identified as 31-year-old Noah Smith, as he lay face down and naked in the doorway of the victim’s home early Monday morning. When a deputy attempted to speak with Smith, he was slapped. The deputy, in turn, deployed his taser. The jolt had no effect on Smith and he was up and running. Reinforcements were called in. Deputies cornered Smith in the victim’s bedroom. A deputy managed to slip a pair of cuffs on Smith before he jumped off the victim’s bed and tried to kick other deputies in the room. That behavior earned him a pepper sprayin’ and a couple of thunks with a baton. Still, he fought. After he tried to bite an officer, a blanket was wrapped around his head and he was taken down and hog-tied. Believing their suspect was under the influence of mushrooms, police had Smith transported to a local hospital for an examination – it was there that medical personnel reportedly found a mouse tail hanging from dude’s ass. An x-ray confirmed that, yes, dude had a mouse stuck up his butt. I know there’s a joke in there about building a better mousetrap, but it’s escaping me at the moment. According to the police report, Smith told doctors he didn’t recall what happened, and he didn’t remember any confrontation with deputies. Regardless, he was booked on charges of resisting arrest, assault, burglary and indecent exposure. There is no word on the condition of the mouse.
Tags: assault and battery, Battery, Burglary, Drugs, Indecent Exposure, Resisting Arrest, South Carolina
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