Home > Crime > Nurses Find Drugs Inside Inmate During Emergency C-Section

Nurses Find Drugs Inside Inmate During Emergency C-Section

October 29, 2010 at 2:56 pm by Morbid

Cincinnati, OH - We get a lot of stupid people on here, but this chick who used her cervix as a change purse takes the cake. After getting busted trying to steal a personal computer from a Fairfax Walmart, 24-year-old January Newport was booked into the Hamilton County Justice Center on theft charges. The next day she was rushed to the hospital to undergo an emergency C-section at Good Samaritan Hospital. While prepping her for surgery, nurses discovered that Jones had more than a baby up in her vagina, she also had a small pharmacy. Five Xanax and ten Lorazepam pills were so deep inside Newport’s vagina that they were described as being “in with the baby.” She had shoved the pills there the day before so that she would have them while she was in jail. Newport pleaded guilty to theft and illegal conveyance of drugs onto a government facility. I love her Facebook page. It has her in a bikini with a transvestite and a blurb of “to everyone that ever doubted me can kiss my big pretty ass!im doin the damn thing now.” lol, yeah, sure you are.

Tags: Crime, Drugs, fail, Jail, Ohio, pregnant, Xanax

73 Comments

Comments

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aka jas

Ohho the many use of the vag. I love it. More Morbid, more!
beatlechick

Xanax a good IUD does not make.
aka jas

Mine has never made it–I am waiting on it now.
aka jas

aha shit I crack myself up.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_GWBV2FUY3OBYX3RNK6I44QSC7I Kwum

. a shame the authorities jumped to conclusions.. Im thinkin the fetus swiped n stored em to deal with the inpending stress of being yanked out into the world..
Anonymous

Well at least her eyebrows are…well…over plucked and weirdly arched. This girl has got her priorities in order!
Anonymous

Now that’s different.
Bulletproof

LOL- now THAT was funny… It immediately conjured up the visual of this little 007 fetus, dressed in black, creepin out of mommy dearest to swipe her stash, and then sneakin back in with the “goods”… lol, sometimes my imagination is better than a Tarentino flick, I swear…. I wonder if these douche-nozzle mothers realize how many babies born addicted to opiates and benzos have life-long learning and social disabilities. Not to mention the psychological repercussions of having a pill-poppin skank for a mother…
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_GWBV2FUY3OBYX3RNK6I44QSC7I Kwum

lol..you cant trust those stealth type fetuses..
Anonymous

Man I don’t know who you are but you aint right in the head, Still laughing.
Anonymous

I can’t wait to get Dominiques take on it aka Domino
Anonymous

I all seriousness though she was pregnant on drugs and the baby will be born a addict it is really no laughing matter.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_GWBV2FUY3OBYX3RNK6I44QSC7I Kwum

haha..- exactly!!… cant blame the the poor lil fetus for tryin to cope with the world PLUS having a douche for a mom… but yeah absolutely its really rotten to do that to an unborn kid which as you stated can have the life long consequences…
aka jas

I nominate that for the best comment of the day! lmao
Anonymous

Are you kidding me? Morbid apologized on another thread. The people in hell got ice water and snowcones at that exact moment, My dad rolled over in his grave.

Morbid deserves the award much more than Mr. Kwum
Bulletproof

I second that!
Bulletproof

For some reason I cant get the Misson Impossible theme song out of my head now, thanks Kwum! lol…
Anonymous

Thank you January, you made my weekend you stupid cum dumpster. I say this because I know when you get out, you will google own name and come across this story.. haha you dumb ass!!!!

PS very well written, you took a funny story and made it HILARIOUS!!!!
http://www.myspace.com/553147094 Domino

after reading this i’m mildly aroused.
Athena

A neck tattoo AND bad eyebrows? They should have seen this coming. @_@
http://www.myspace.com/553147094 Domino

HOT. not many women can make me wish i were a man, but this vagina story sure did it for me.
Anonymous

She is a loho, only 15 pills? damn, and 10 of them were ativan? http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/hs165.snc3/19256_1184026800688_1228796075_30450207_3657411_n.jpg

Sure this isnt you Dumino?
aka jas

Ahw…..How sweet! Where? Well Fuck this One!
aka jas

Is that 18 for 18th Street?
aka jas

Naw..I thought it was an apology to you–lmao– that really wasnt all that exciting. This one is WAY better.
guillotinegirl

Her FB profile pic looks like the leftovers of a Lifesaver bukkake.
http://www.facebook.com/dre.mosley Dre Mosley

Hello, welcome to Pink Taco Pharmacy. . . .
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_GWBV2FUY3OBYX3RNK6I44QSC7I Kwum

*blinks*…..getting aroused @ Dominos arousal… grrrrrr mmmmmm
*slaps self and settles down*
*efg*
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_GWBV2FUY3OBYX3RNK6I44QSC7I Kwum

lmfao!! Im still rollin@ “007 fetus” HAHAAHAAHA
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_GWBV2FUY3OBYX3RNK6I44QSC7I Kwum

*smirk*.. Im accepting monetary donations..
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_GWBV2FUY3OBYX3RNK6I44QSC7I Kwum

wtf cares!… this is chat cplsissybitch…
are you really this much of an INSTIGATING annoying ASSHOLE in real life or do you just play one online? gawd youre such a preening suckup.. Morbid isnt gonna let you blow him no matter how much suckin up you do. Oh and btw you look like fruity stalker damn near callin yourself… “CplMorbid” .fuckin weirdo.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_GWBV2FUY3OBYX3RNK6I44QSC7I Kwum

*roflmfao* @ pink taco pharmacy HAHHAHAHA… i hear it doubles as a fish market
Anonymous

….
Anonymous

She may not be able to. I mean, with not getting away with that computer and all….

Maybe she will take another crack at it.
http://www.myspace.com/553147094 Domino

as with most whores (men and women alike) the mere gender of someone simply stands in the way. i’m sure this cunt of woe doesn’t even know who the father is.
Anonymous

Sorry I nay no what you say but if it was directed at moi…Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAH,,,

UGH
Anonymous

Considering the brows we have seen of late I would say hers were a 8 of 10 perfect points.
Anonymous

I read your post on my forum page, Seems I have the redirect virus and I can no longer reply down below. You should in your specific circumstance get you a Lawyer immediately. No matter how much it cost. This was a trap set out for your son and I have seen this all too many times when it comes to this kind of issue. Trust me he was definately taken advantage of and their family now thinks you will have to pay support for 18 years, Kinda sux how they can take advantage of the American system like that but it does everyday. I wish I could have made this more personal and a little more specific but it seems that management has taken my rights to PM people.
Anonymous

“Cunt of woe”–hahahaha. Sweet.
Boughtthefarm

Exactly, and especially with that hoochie being her “mama”. Poor kid, I’d want drugs too.
Anonymous

Dear God, someone PLEASE take this child away before she ever lays eyes on it… she’ll probably do something evil to it because of drugs or worse… pretend she forgot it somewhere & he/she’ll die & it will only be neglect & she won’t go to jail FOREVER like she should.
http://www.myspace.com/553147094 Domino

ROFLMFAO WHAT THE FUCK?!?!!!??? you got your private messages on the forums disabled because you offered that teenage girl a shoulder to cry on????

IF this is the case and only IF… WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THE THIS SITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it’s one thing to preach about doing the right thing BUT when you witness it and jump into action like that, it’s truly admirable. now i understand it might be a bit of damage control – this site rubs a lot of people the wrong way and i’m sure the d&d doesn’t want to have to put their own drama featuring the cpl and a teen girl on the fp, but either way. way to go. i have a small pot of respect and i dish it out sparingly… but this site definitely gets some of it.

yeah yeah cpl i know you claim you weren’t offering the little girl to jump on the penny ride, you just wanted to talk to her and you just want to be her daddy, but who really knows that? or you? who truly knows you’re not just some horny old man looking for a tender hole? no one. for that matter who knows i’m not some nerd with a crib full of shit machines that i neglect while keyboarding on here about how terrible it is? NO ONE.

now thank the gods of d&d for saving your ass and quit whining about it. THEY DID YOU A FAVOR!
Anonymous

The owner of this site just used this as an excuse to pick a fight. I have a lot of friends in the forums below that will miss me and Managment is just doing damage control. I am honestly amazed by your bluntness DB but this is really none of your business. Management is very smart around here and I don’t blame them for doing damage control. I truly never intended on causing a firestorm or problems for this great site. It was never moi intentions whatsoever.

ugh
http://www.myspace.com/553147094 Domino

you keep saying that “it’s none of your business” – when you post it PUBLICLY it can very much become someone’s business. it’s not like you’re blogging to a black hole.

i think you missed the part where i glorify what they did and lick their asses clean about how amazing they are for stepping in and saving your ass. they saw a red flag and nipped it in the bud.

you called me blunt – thank you.
Anonymous

The transvestite is prettier than her…
Anonymous

Had she scooted the drugs in her butt, she would have had room for the computer up her cootch
Anonymous

Her ass may be big, but how pretty is it really?
Anonymous

“no one. for that matter who knows i’m not some nerd with a crib full of shit machines that i neglect while keyboarding on here about how terrible it is? NO ONE.”

I read this as a crib full of slot machines. I was on my way!
Anonymous

“no one. for that matter who knows i’m not some nerd with a crib full of shit machines that i neglect while keyboarding on here about how terrible it is? NO ONE.”

I read this as a crib full of slot machines. I was on my way!
Anonymous

I miss all the good stuff…
Anonymous

I miss all the good stuff…
TARHEELS BABY!

wow lol

hey has anybody heard anything about deaths related to addicts trying to inject (possibly even from sniffing) the new “OP” formulation of OxyContin?

basically, Purdue Pharma held off on the promise they made to the DEA 10 years ago to make OxyContin less-abusable until their patent was set to expire this year. Now they have released a new, very abuse-resistant form of the medication that is the normal time-release mechanism surroun ded by an additional semisynthetic polymer matrix that turns into a gelatinous mass upon exposure to water and hardens in response to heat. The pills are rock hard as well, making them difficult to even crush to sniff.

I was reading a little bit about them online yesterday and saw, on a message board, a couple comments from people who claimed they had friends who found a way to get the new formula to mix in water, injected it, and died.

I’m just curious if anybody had seen anything about deaths like this in the news.
Lexismom

I’m not sure about that , but I do know that they are making all narcotics like thin stops that u put in ur mouth. Almost like the listerine strips, they have already started this with certian drugs. I think that if an addic is goin to use , there is no stoppin them.
Anonymous

And not to mention the thought of living with the *cough cough* “mother” it was stuck with…
Anonymous

Ok, when did this stop being about the story? And Wtf is going on with cpl?
Parrot Toes (kathybird)

Drama….lots of drama….I’m trying to stay out of most of it these days.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_5WYTW5UWWTGEKN4L2HBZ7I4E5E Zazen

Where? Links or it didn’t happen.
Anonymous

I’ve shoved coke up my ass before but I wasn’t smuggling anything. It seemed like fun at the time and I thought I might get thirsty later.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_5WYTW5UWWTGEKN4L2HBZ7I4E5E Zazen

Maybe her transvestite friend does her eyebrows? Because when you’re doin the damn thing, you’re too fucking busy to pluck!
Anonymous

HA! Awesome.
Anonymous

Can we make a soap opera about this site?
Anonymous

Can we make a soap opera about this site?
guillotinegirl

The downside of giving yourself a Coca-Cola enema is that you’ll likely be the only one having a blast.
guillotinegirl

The downside of giving yourself a Coca-Cola enema is that you’ll likely be the only one having a blast.
Anonymous

Actually, in the wake of the flick about Facebook (The Social Network, in theaters now), this could work. . .time to brush up on your screenwriting skills. . .
guillotinegirl

I vote for a movie about DD in a foreign language with subtitles.

That way, those who hate it have a reason to come back to the site and argue over the subtleties of bad writing vs. a storyline that does not translate well.
Gee

I with you PT…. Keeping my nose clear of all shit :0)
Anonymous

I’m casting mel Gibson as morbid.
Anonymous

While all this inside drama is very amusing, could we please get back to tarring and feathering Ms. Newport?

Seriously, she needs to find good placement for that baby. She is not ready for motherhood by a long shot. While pregnant the last thing on my mind was shoving anything more up there…
http://karebu.myopenid.com/ karebu

I haven’t heard of the new form of pills, but I have heard of (and know… well, I should say knew) people who have overdosed and died from crushing time-released pills. It isn’t that hard to figure out how to break pills down to shoot up (I was my own favorite guinea pig for many years). If the new pill form is broken down and shot up, the likelyhood of dying from an overdose shouldn’t be any different than the older pill form because the dosage of the drug itself doesn’t change.
http://karebu.myopenid.com/ karebu

I haven’t heard of the new form of pills, but I have heard of (and know… well, I should say knew) people who have overdosed and died from crushing time-released pills. It isn’t that hard to figure out how to break pills down to shoot up (I was my own favorite guinea pig for many years). If the new pill form is broken down and shot up, the likelyhood of dying from an overdose shouldn’t be any different than the older pill form because the dosage of the drug itself doesn’t change.
TARHEELS BABY!

Yeah, I saw that they’re switching Suboxone to that form.

It’s ridiculous if you ask me… these anti-abuse measures are usually easily bypassed, and when they aren’t, all they really serve to do is kill people who are stupid/desperate enough to attempt to bypass them without doing some research. Suboxone is a joke in the first place, as you can sniff or inject it and the Naloxone never has any effect… yet they still market it under the false pretense that the opiate blocker makes it somehow less-abusable, which they know is pure bunk. And as far as the new OxyContin goes, they made sure to make it very abuse resistant (you need “complex solvents” to extract most of the oxycodone), but they only did so to keep their market share, releasing the new formulation the very month their old formulation’s patent expired.

All they care about is profit. That is why they stalled the DEA for over a decade before making any attempt to alter their medication, and now that they have altered it, they have turned it into a substance that is extremely dangerous for those who attempt to abuse it, and less effective for those who genuinely need it for pain relief.

As a country, we never seem to do the most pragmatic thing… but legalizing and controlling all drugs as has been done in some european countries would serve everybody’s interests far better. It seems almost counterintuituve, but countries with legalized heroin have smaller populations of addicts than we do, because help is more accessible.
TARHEELS BABY!

There are people attempting to inject this new formulation who are dying not of overdoses of the oxycodone, but because it is forming into a semi-solid mass inside their vein and then travelling to the heart/brain/lungs etc. You’d have to be REALLY STUPID to try to inject something like that, but of course a good proportion of addicts fall into that category.