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St. Petersburg, FL – Police say two suspects, both armed with guns and a knife, forced their way into a woman’s home as she was arriving home from work late Monday evening. Once inside the residence, the robbers reportedly bound the woman’s 15-year-old son with duct tape before ransacking the home in an apparent search for drugs and/or money. At some point during their two hour stay, the home invaders allegedly forced the woman to melt butter and pour it over her chest. *blinks* Fortunately, the butter had cooled somewhat before coming into contact with her skin. Police don’t believe the melted butter thing was meant to be any sort of sexual threat, but was meant to be intimidating. Silly me, I thought that’s what the guns and knives were for!  Before making their escape, the alleged butter bandits bound the woman in duct tape and made off with an AK-47, a Glock 36 and a couple of iPods. Police say another family was taken hostage in the area less than 24 hours earlier. In that case, three gunmen held a couple and their children hostage for five hours while looking for drugs. The suspects used a hot iron to torture information out of the father, and ended up shooting the man as he escaped through a glass window.

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  • Anonymous

    I feel bad for the lady. But what in the world did she have an AK47 for?

  • guillotinegirl

    I’m curious to know if the boob butter was collected for evidence or if they just took pics of her boobs.

  • Anonymous

    she’s a gangsta…

    nah but really I was wondering the same thing. And melted butter? who comes up with that?

  • Thomas

    I thought guns in the home were supposed to make you safe? wtf? I feel so betrayed.

  • Boughtthefarm

    Hot iron vs buttery boobs????

  • aka jas

    OhhhhO the details, I need more!

    I wonder if they made her melt it, and if it was done on the stove or in the microwave?!?! What kind of random fucking request is that.

    “Look lady, heres what your gonna do, you listening!?! Your’e gonna take that butter, you see, and pour it on your chest! NOW!!”

    Oh the visuals are too good to be something made up.

  • John

    so tacky the way they put the stained glass ad in the article. that’s not how you do ads.

  • Boughtthefarm

    **What kind of random fucking request is that** I know, you;d think these cops here it everyday. Damn perverts.

  • aka jas

    WHAT?! *burst of laughter* “you;d think these cops here it everyday.” Are you kidding? Either way, my cheeks hurt from laughing so hard. How is this a common request? I mean sure, in bed with the hubby—Kidding—for some…………

    Boughtthefarm you crack me up sometimes. Oh shit, that was good,

  • Bahahaha!!! Butter Bandits!! Soo good.

  • The ad when I read it was for a Greek festival. I couldn’t stop looking at it. All the delicious food! I kinda wish I was from wherever this took place.

  • Ohh and the ad on here has butter warmers. hahahaha

  • Anonymous

    Of all the times I’ve had melted butter poured on my chest, none were forced by armed robbers…

  • MyMomSaysImSpecial

    they always say, pour melted butter on yourself and carry lemons just in case

  • Smiley

    Florida scares the shit outta me. I don’t even think I wanna go to Disneyworld now…….

  • Athena

    Years ago, when I was debating in high school, I read a statistic stating that, in 70% of cases in which a gun-owner’s gun is used during a home invasion, it’s the intruder using that gun against the home owner.

    This is why simply purchasing a gun isn’t enough. You need training to know what to do during a high-stress situation. When someone is trying to force their way into your home, grabbing your gun isn’t necessarily your first thought.

  • Anonymous

    I bet you these BB’s where gay & had seen the Ricky Martin video where he gets poured hot wax on his chest. I betcha they looked around & couldn’t find candles since the lady’s gansta & all (AK 47) so the only thing flammable on hand was butter.

  • Kwumey

    IN f*kin hysterics laffin at the amazon ad :” porcelain steel butter warmers” LMFAOOOOOOOO

    wtf was up with the butter? perchance were one of these larcenous intruders on the portly side?

  • anniebutt

    Umm seriously, what the hell were they trying to accomplish? I don’t know if I buy that it isn’t sexual. In the article it says one of the bandits actually RUBBED the butter on her chest. And they looked for cooking oil first but had to settle for butter.

  • Anonymous

    maybe they were going to marinade her, stick an apple in her mouth, and roast her?

  • Anonymous

    maybe they were going to marinade her, stick an apple in her mouth, and roast her?

  • Count Rackula

    Don’t be so quick to kid… I knew a guy once who told me his sister and her boyfriend were so desperate for lube one day that they used melted butter.

    I never talked to that guy again after he told me that.

    I saw him trying to pimp out discounts at the dollar store on San Mateo about a year ago. I drove past and he was holding the giant discount sign, and yelled directly at me as I drove past, “SAVE SOME MONEY!!!!” He was always so odd that it almost seem like a threat. Like if I didn’t ‘save some money’ he was going to fucking rape my dreams. Fuckin’ weirdo.

  • aka jas

    And this is one of the MANY MANY reasons that I could not leave this site!

  • aka jas

    And this is one of the MANY MANY reasons that I could not leave this site!

  • 8 months later I’m looking at the amazon ads and I see ads for DUCT TAPE  LMAO 

  • Grabbing my gun is my first thought.
    My 2nd thought is safety off.
    My third thought = getting a visual/sight recognition.
    And my fourth thought is pulling the trigger.
    Then I repeat these thoughts till there is no longer any threat;reloading hopefully would not be necessary.
    But then I do have training.