Matthew Hicks Is A Dirty, Dirty Boy

September 13, 2010 at 7:44 am by Jaded  

Ouachita Parish, LA - A woman called 911 Saturday morning to report that there was a strange nekkid man taking a bath in her backyard swimming pool – dude had even soaped up. Not only did the nekkid man muck up her pool, he also reportedly humped a glass patio door. Hell…who hasn’t? When police arrived on scene, they found the stranger in question, 32-year-old Matthew Hicks, walking down the driveway wearing nothing but his birthday suit and a pair of black rubber boots. Seriously, why was no one filming this shit? When confronted, Hicks told officers he had no idea how he ended up in the woman’s pool – he was from Arizona and his vehicle had been towed prior to the bubbly incident. He did eventually own up to the deed, and when asked why he committed the lewd act upon the patio door, his response was, “She saw me?” Hicks has been booked on one count of exposing his genitals in public and one count of trespassing. Bond for the trespassing charge was set at $200, no bond has been set on the exposing charge. One question…where did he get the soap?

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