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PALM BAY, Fla. — Nothing points to you having a drinking problem like getting busted for DUI while picking your kids up from school. Andrea Vellender, 38, pulled into the bus lanes at Christa McCauliffe Elementary School at around 2:30pm Wednesday and accidentally bumped into the back of a van. When school staff came out to investigate, they knew something was wrong with her and called police instead of letting her child get in the vehicle. Police arrived and noted her eyes were glassy and bloodshot. They asked her to perform some sobriety tests that she failed with flying colors, and administered two breathalyzer tests that revealed her blood-alcohol content was .240 and .241 — three times over the legal limit. To add to her legal problems, before she was taken to jail police found half a Xanax in her purse. She admitted that she did not have a prescription for the pill and that her husband gave it to her. She is now facing charges of drunk driving and drug possession charges.

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  • cplpunishment

    Can you imagine how much the kid is going to be picked on for the rest of his school career? Damn how embarrassing this must have been for him and all involved.

    Just imagine Mom getting a breathalizer in front of your whole school, This really bites, Mondays suck.

  • ProudWife05

    So glad that the people at the school noticed that something was wrong and didn't let the kids get in the car with mom. Things could have gotten real ugly if they had let her take the kids.

  • Deety

    Thank god my new house is only a block from an elementary school, so I can walk to school to drunkenly pick up my future children.

  • aka jas

    LOL—What?

  • IntelligentVirtue

    Now that's smart parenting!! lol

  • guillotinegirl

    Totally off-topic but this reminds me of a conversation I had with my sister about our alcoholic aunt. Basically, she didn't want her to be driving her daughter around if she was drunk. I remember saying it was probably safer for her to drive when she was drunk, because if she wasn't, that meant she was unconscious.

  • Deety

    Anyone know where I can get a bumper sticker that says “I got my parenting skills from DreaminDemon.com”?

  • aka jas

    I want one too!

    Deety your movin up on my faves list! FYI!

  • JGo555

    Least she didn't forget her kid & let some idiot pick it up & rape it…

    I love the whole ” dlunk with flying colors”… it describes my math grades in high school to a T.

  • JGo555

    They could totally market that & I might buy it.

    Or something like: “My kids are healthy, happy & well adjusted because I don't live in Florida”.

  • ProudWife05

    Ok, so off topic, but Your bird is so pretty! What kind?

  • J Van S

    I would think that there should be some charge(s) related to child neglect, endangerment or abuse or something for her own kids AND/OR for the any other kids (and adults) that she could have hurt at or around the school. She CLEARLY had (inebriated) “Criminal Intent” of piccking her kids up as well as knowingly heading not just toward but TO a school…

  • misssmartypants

    Maybe the kids are relieved that mom got caught, they probly dealt with that crap every day. I know I would be(happy) if my mom did. Shit, that lady would be cruisin like a madman,and we couldnt get her to notice that the back passenger door was open, my little sis holding on the doorhandle, dragging her sneaks on the pavement.But this was the 70s. Everybodys mom/dad were crazy in my hood. Glad the school officials intervened

  • guillotinegirl

    I want one too! It would go perfect with my “White Slavery…It's About Time” bumper sticker.

  • Lilloric

    what a loser

  • eliz1bef

    Oh, I want one of those. Maybe 20 of those.

    I want one that says, “Jesus said to be a FISHER of men, not a HARPOONER.”

  • TAR_BABY

    Palm Bay, FL is fucked. When I was 17 I took the Greyhound down there with my best friend, his father lived there and I had never been that far south so I thought it'd be a fun trip.

    The first full day we were there, we were out walking home from his ex-girlfriend's house when a cop pulled over in front of us. This fat, half-retarded hick female cop got out and started questioning us. We answered all of her questions, at which point she demanded to search my friend's book bag because she claimed a nearby home's security alarm had gone off. When she arrived, the system was malfunctioning, but she needed to search us “just in case.”

    He had marijuana and a smoking device on him, so he was arrested. I was also taken into custody, but not given a reason why. Weeks later when I finally saw the police report, I read that the police woman said she stopped and searched us because we were wearing “skinhead style boots.” He was wearing nike high-tops and I was wearing military issue boots. Fuckin hicks.