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Livermore, CA – I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – teen boys smell funny. Why any grown woman would want to get all nekkid and up close and personal with an adolescent boy is beyond me. But Christine “Hummer Mom” Hubbs had no problem with the smell. The married mother of three just couldn’t get enough. And one teen boy wasn’t enough for her, she’s accused of sexually assaulting two of ‘em – one of them, her own daughter’s boyfriend. According to authorities, the mother of one of the boys went to police on July 27th to report she found a nude photo of Hubbs on her son’s cell phone. When questioned, the boy said his relationship with Hubbs turned sexual back in December 2008, when he was 14 and dating her daughter, and continued until January of this year. During the investigation, police learned of a second boy, who is now 14, who said he had a sexual relationship with Hubbs from December 2009 through July. Both boys told police Hubbs showered them with cell phones, gifts and money and would often pick them up in her black Hummer and carry them off to various hotels for a little action. Hell, there were times she couldn’t be bothered with the hassle of a hotel and steamed up the windows of her H2.

Now, I could be wrong, but I’d be willing to bet my last bottle of Boone’s that the little Hummer she was so proud of was a gift from her husband of 20 years. And by all accounts, 42-year-old Hubbs had it pretty fucking good. She was living in an upscale community with her husband, a well-known and respected dentist in that same community, had three kids and plenty of spare time to play soccer mom. Hope she enjoyed it while it lasted because she’s now facing 67 felony counts of sexual assault, including oral copulation, lewd act on a child, and exhibition of lewd material to a minor. Bond has been set at $4.3 million. In a separate case, she was charged with four counts of contributing to the deliquency of a minor and one count of discharge of a BB gun. Authorities allege that Hubbs recently bought pellet and water guns for several boys ages 9 to 14, then drove them around nearby neighborhoods – at speeds up to 80 mph – as they fired at bystanders from the windows. Two words for this one: Cunt. Punt.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/people/John-House/1011555524 John House

    Holy crap, 67 counts! I dunno, I'm willing to bet these kids thought she was a MILF (I gag at that term…). Though it doen't seem like another Mary Kay/Villi thing. Looks to me like she might've just been horny (but 13-year-old and 14-year-old boys? Eccch.).

    And heh…”Hummer Mom”…how perfect is that.

    Damn this site (and you, Jaded)…because now every time I see a teen boy out there I'm thinking “I bet he smells funny.”

  • Parrot Toes (kathybird)

    Eww, how nasty. I know my 2 boys stink! 14 and 16, even right after a shower they are still stinky, they just don't get how to clean themselves properly and will have to learn that as they get older and a good scrub to them means a one minute shower. Yuck!

    I'm glad to see the high bail on this bitch and I hope she gets everything the law can throw at her.

    She puts her husbands career in jeopardy and hopefully he's smart and files for divorce. She leaves 3 children motherless and distrustful of her. All for a few moments of stinky love with boys. Sick. Her own daughter's boyfriend? If that were my mother, I would disown her forever. What a bitch.

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Jaded

    They'll never be able to erase the smell of feet and boy stink from that H2….what a waste.

  • Parrot Toes (kathybird)

    Hell, I'll never be able to erase it from my house!

  • Parrot Toes (kathybird)

    Hell, I'll never be able to erase it from my house!

  • blubberdong

    I guess her husband was spending too much time drilling the wrong cavities and mommy got tired of waiting. Too much time, too much money, and too many wells of fresh man-child seed around and she got bored. Hope she gets surrounded by lesbo muff for a while, but she probably won't…women child molesters just don't spend much time in the joint.

  • Jgo555

    WTF those kid's dicks aren't even easy to find at that age! BTW I hope her husband didn't post bail on her ass…

    What it wrong with these women if they're not letting their kids be killed by horrible men then they are perverting the ones that haven't grown up yet!? Ugh at least she's not harrassing her daughter's frien/nemies at school.

  • MABTW

    Let me finish off this bottle of Jack…then I'd probably hit it.

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Jaded

    I think you're probably too old for her….sorry.

  • Count Rackula

    $4.3 million? Now that is how you get shit done! I wish all people arrested for these types of crimes would get their bail set that high. I can never figure out why some of these broads want to sex up a child. Does penis size mean nothing to you? Does the fact that you are larger than him in every aspect make it sexier or something? I just can't understand, and I guess I'm glad about that. Yeah, I also agree that if I were her daughter, and I found out she fucked my boyfriend, I'd visit her in jail just to tell her what a huge cunt she is, then I'd never speak to her again. You know that girl has to been so fucking embarrassed about this, the kids at school are never going to let that one go. Holy shit.

  • aka jas

    Sick and demented! That is it. .

    This freak had it all. Beautiful family, home, money and she molested young boys. She is nothing more than a broken pedophile. Her family needs to write her off. She can never “make-up” for this. And if I was a mother of one of those boys–Lord help her. She is not one bit better than any man-ster that does acts like this.

    And as for you MABTW—Cant you just go away?

  • DogBitez

    In defense of 13 year old boys everywhere… when my guy was that age, he was (still is at 21) one squeaky clean, nice smelling guy. Dude loves his showers.

    Now, that said… I'm always amazed at these moms that hook up with super young guys. Once you've gone through infancy, toddler age, prepubescent years, etc with your male offspring… you've had about as much young boy wienie flashed in your face as you can possibly stand in one lifetime. It starts with being peed on when you change his diaper. Then you go through the toddler phase when he grabs it out of his clothes and holds onto it all day like it was his handle on life — yeah, I know… that phase kind of sticks with guys until they die of old age. And then one day, you're floating in your pool — trying to chill out from a stressful day dealing with asshole clients — and suddenly you find yourself flipped off your blowup raft by a butt-naked 10 year old who has decided to go skinny dipping. The day your kid suddenly gets all private about his body.. ahhhh… peace at last.

    So I just don't understand how Hummer Mom could get all worked up over 13 or 14 year old boys. She must have birthed only girls.

  • Parrot Toes (kathybird)

    “when he grabs it out of his clothes and holds onto it all day like it was his handle on life”

    This was also the “rubber” stage. No, not as in condoms! This is when they were tired of holding their little tiny friend, they would pull it and stretch it around their neck, under their arm, around their back and over their shoulder again. It was like pulling fucking taffy, I swear to non-God! It's amazing how friggen stretchy little boy wienies can be!

  • DogBitez

    Ahahahahahaha… so true!

  • eliz1bef

    No joke, that! She's obviously an unrepentant pedophile. She's already grooming other young boys, if the part with the BB guns and whatnot is accurate. She's a vile, disgusting baby raper, and I'll be so pissed if she gets away with it by just not having a penis.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/John-House/1011555524 John House

    …I thank G-d that none of my friends have male offspring.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/John-House/1011555524 John House

    Ehhh, I dunno about that first assertion. My sis tutored a 14-year-old “kid” who was always trying to get her to suck on his…she said he once took her hand and put it right on his raging hardon (during a tutoring session, mind you) and while she ripped her hand away in horror, she did note that it was rather large. She stopped tutoring him right after that (she was 22 at the time).

  • Intelligentvirtue

    All teenagers smell funny, its like they're allergic to water and soap and deodorant and laundry soap and….well you get the pic.lol

  • Tomtani1

    A lot of 13 and 14 year old boys dream about having a sexual relationship with a woman like Christine Hubbs. They don't care if she is 42 years old. In fact, Christine Hubbs looks pretty good for her age. If they didn't enjoyed the sexual relationship then it would not have lasted as long as it did until it was discovered. The boys were not victims. They were willing participants. If I was 14 year old and a hot woman like that was interested in me I would do the same thing as these two boys. I actually feel really bad for Christine. She wrecked her family and will have to go to prison.

  • Parrot Toes (kathybird)

    I think they are victims. She totally took advantage of their raging hormones and their lack of good judgement. I don't feel bad for her in the slightest, especially since one of those boys was her own daughter's boyfriend. Nice way to break trust mom! Those boys may not feel like victims now, but give them some years to grow to realize that what was done to them was wrong. I agree that they may not be traumatized from this, but they are victims nonetheless.

    When I was 18, though I wasn't technically a kid still, I dated a man who was 36. Many girls were envious because he was quite the looker and a gentleman, which boys just were not. He treated me like a queen and I was on cloud nine. He turned out to be a creep. Now that I am older, I shudder at the fact that I slept with him, let alone dated him. If I were to meet him now, I would think he is nothing but a demented, twisted pervert who is on the verge of being a pedo. I really don't know if he would have gone for younger, but I wouldn't be surprised to find out that he would have.

    Though I'm not traumatized by dating or sleeping with him, just the thought of him makes my skin crawl. THAT is what these 2 boys are going to feel later in life. They just don't know it yet.

  • Scavengerofhumansorrow

    What about my comments? Cuz, I would sleep with her, but only cuz i have pretty open standards.

  • Tomtani1

    Yes. The two boys are victims as defined by the law. They were willing victims. They may now realize it now. It may or may not impact their futures. 14 year old boys can handle this type of situations much better than 14 year old girls if the reversed had happened. Molested girls would be more traumatized than boys. The boys would tend to be proud of their accomplishments unless they were molested by gay priests. Back when I was in Junior High School, I had a friend (my age) that was proud of the attention he was getting from his girlfriend's mother. I don't know if that ever lead to him having a sexual relationship with the mother or not. But he was certainly very proud of himself.

    You did not have a positive experience with the much older man when you were 18 years old that is why will have the negative feelings toward him for the rest of your life. Societies consider an 18 year old to be an adult even though they are pretty much the same person as when they were 16 or 17. In real life there are lots of young women marrying older guys and have normal marriages. It is up to the young woman whether she accepts the advances from the older men. In some societies the young women do not have a choice. Marriage is decided by the elders in the family.

    Years ago I experienced that situation first hand. I had an 18 year old female friend. She liked me a lot. I liked her as a friend as well. Perhaps our friendship could have developed further if we had more time. She was getting attention from another man. He was showering her and her family with gifts. She told me that she was getting some attention from another person but I did not realized how serious it was. One day he asked her grandmother for her hand in marriage and was granted. She was married off when she was 18 years old. I lived far away so I was not in the loop. Some time soon after she was married, someone showed me her wedding picture and it was one of a person that was very sad on her wedding day. I never saw her again.

  • Parrot Toes (kathybird)

    “The two boys are victims as defined by the law. They were willing victims.”

    That's the point that I was trying to make. They were victims according to the law, because they were children. It makes no difference if they enjoyed their experience. They were children. Little boys. Not adults. Whether they enjoyed their experience or not is irrelevant. It is an experience that should not have been shared with an adult. The thought of her (who is older than I am) touching a little boy of 14 yo (I have a 14 year old son) makes my skin crawl.

    My 14 year old son sometimes will ask me about these articles that I'm reading. The day I was reading this one, he came by and asked me what she did. I told him and his reaction was to shudder. He can't imagine why he would want to be with someone who could be his mother. This woman may be pretty, but that doesn't mean all 14 year olds want her. The idea of any woman touching my 14 year old son makes me want to puke, but if I had been the mother of one of her victims, I would have beaten the pretty right off her face. She would have hideous scars to remember her victims by.

  • Kwumey

    whats up with this incessant perponderance of trashy blonds feening for lil boys?
    Is it that damned peroxicde leechin into their scalps and turn em into baby gherkin lurkin fiends?
    can life as a soccer mom being that banal and useless that they crave attn from any underages snot nose punk that will have em? ..ugh

  • Kwumey

    whats up with this incessant perponderance of trashy blonds feening for lil boys?
    Is it that damned peroxicde leechin into their scalps and turn em into baby gherkin lurkin fiends?
    can life as a soccer mom being that banal and useless that they crave attn from any underages snot nose punk that will have em? ..ugh

  • Jdelao7979

    @ blubberdong1…No its not just the women molesters who dont do much time…Its ALL child molesters that dont do enough time…Seems like the high profile women like the teachers that were in the news a few years back actually get more time than the nasty everyday habitual perverts…But this lady deserves to suffer all molesters do!! MAN OR WOMAN! & whats up with the double standard tomtani1??? I have 3 boys and they deserve the same protection from pedophiles as girls do!! They ARE victims…how do u know what they wanted…Hell i bet they didn’t even know what they wanted…They are TEENAGERS!!! No matter how u spin it…this is just SICK!!!! The dumb tramp had it all…..and threw it away to be nasty!!

  • Jdelao7979

    @ blubberdong1…No its not just the women molesters who dont do much time…Its ALL child molesters that dont do enough time…Seems like the high profile women like the teachers that were in the news a few years back actually get more time than the nasty everyday habitual perverts…But this lady deserves to suffer all molesters do!! MAN OR WOMAN! & whats up with the double standard tomtani1??? I have 3 boys and they deserve the same protection from pedophiles as girls do!! They ARE victims…how do u know what they wanted…Hell i bet they didn’t even know what they wanted…They are TEENAGERS!!! No matter how u spin it…this is just SICK!!!! The dumb tramp had it all…..and threw it away to be nasty!!

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Jaded
  • Pingback: Woman Pleads Guilty To Trading Video Games For Sex With Underage Boys | CrimeCrawlers!

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/PDZS7UVISG3RKVUALHAIQW5FPE pillss

    I’m gonna be creepy and say “what the hell”
    I can swear this is what i always wanted to happen to me when I was young. Teen girls were fun but I had serious hots for moms. I remember it was the only thing I could think of. Bless these kids for they have had life worth living.
    I will say they’re so lucky, she is even so hot. I wish I was a teen and some milf was longing after me. Sorry lady, the world is against it but i support you. I hope you’ll be freed soon so you can make some other teen boy who is much smarter happy.