Lancaster, PA – Police have arrested Troy Stewart and Lauren Reed and charged them with involuntary deviate sexual intercourse and conspiracy after the two pulled off a rather distasteful party joke over the weekend. According to the criminal complaint, the two hooked up with Reed’s ex-boyfriend, Scott McQuilkin, Friday evening to enjoy an evening of cocktails and refined conversation. Reed and Stewart had reason to believe McQuilkin had taken some sort of pill before their arrival, as he had passed out in the middle of the fun at least two separate times. He was still breathing each time, so neither panicked. Stewart and Reed continued to drink. At some point that evening, as we’ve seen in the homes of countless teenagers across the globe, the Sharpies came out. Stewart and Reed proceeded to scrawl obscenities on McQuilkin’s back. Har. Har. Then they thought to themselves, “Wouldn’t it be funny if Scott woke up to find cuss words on his back and a stick up his ass?!?!” The two then rammed a 10-inch drum stick up his ass as he lay passed out on the floor. They left him in the apartment alone and unconscious. Good times!!
McQuilkin was still there on the floor the next afternoon, but he wasn’t breathing anymore. The woman who rents the apartment found him when she arrived home. And I’m pretty sure it’s gonna take a bit of brain bleach to erase that scene. Police say that although the cause of death remains unclear, they don’t believe the stick played a part in the man’s demise. There was no obvious trauma to the body, so they’re waiting on the tox screens. Stewart, 40, and Reed, 20, aren’t exactly off the hook, though. “It’s a depraved crime,” said Lancaster County District Attorney Craig Stedman. “It’s despicable what they did. Instead of getting him help as he was passed out and eventually dying, this is what they chose to do, and now they’ve been arrested for it.” Convictions of involuntary deviate sexual intercourse and conspiracy carry maximum prison sentences of 10 to 20 years each. Wonder how long it’s going to be before the pics turn up on the internet?alcohol, Conspiracy, involuntary deviate sexual intercourse, Lancaster, Pennsylvania