Updates by emailNEWSLETTER Subscribe to The Dreamin DemonRSS Subscribe to The Dreamin Demon

Teacher’s Aide Mario Hunt Charged With Child Sex Abuse, Knowingly Exposing Teens To HIVPolice Charge Internet Celebrity, Kai The Hatchet-Wielding Hitchhiker, With The Murder Of New Jersey LawyerDeny Krystle Harrison Sex? That’s A Bit DickSteven Johnson Found Dead Hanging Off Cliff, Covered In Bee StingsBarry Alan Swegle Redecorated His Neighborhood With BulldozerTiara Drake Charged With Poisoning Family Members After Being Denied CheeseHigh School Teacher’s Aid Caught On Camera Molesting Mentally Disabled StudentICE Need Help Identifying John Doe Seen Sexually Assaulting Young GirlJohn Welden Accused Of Tricking Pregnant Girlfriend Into Taking Abortion PillPolice Arrest Brother, 12, In Fatal Stabbing Of 8-Year-Old Leila Fowler

Man Arrested, Suspected Of Sexual Assault In Women’s Restroom; Loving Masturbation

July 26, 2010 at 1:04 pm by  

SACRAMENTO, Calif. – If 22-year-old Michael McLaughlin is guilty of all he has been charged with, he sure does love to masturbate. McLaughlin was picked up by police Friday afternoon near a Bannon Creek Parkway’s bike trail. The police had been responding to a report of a man masturbating in public, but once there they were notified of a woman reporting that she had just been assaulted by a man in the women’s restroom at a nearby business park. She claims a man who was masturbating inside the restroom grabbed her but ran out when she screamed and resisted. Videotape captured McLaughlin leaving the bathroom and a fingerprint places him there. Now police are checking if McLaughlin is the man reported masturbating near women in children at a local park on two separate incidents. McLaughlin told a reporter that he is innocent of all charges, invoking the Chewbacca Defense. He says he and his wife are homeless and that’s why he could have been spotted with his pants down. “So taking a piss in a park or something or somebody riding by, well, you never know what somebody is going to see.” He also added that he has no need of masturbation as whenever he gets horny, he has options. “I have a wife and I have a tent, whenever it comes down to it, i’m hidden inside a tent with my old lady.“ 

Man Arrested, Suspected Of Sexual Assault In Womens Restroom; Loving Masturbation

Tags: ,

17 Comments

    Comments


    V2 Cigs electronic cigarettes - Break Free From The Pack!

    The views expressed in the comments are those of the comment writers and don't represent the views or opinions of D'D or its staff. Feel free to flag comments that may violate conditions outlined in our Disclaimer.

    • The_Shadow_Knows

      It's come to my attention that married men don't necessarily get sex any time they want, and may even still resort to masturbation from time to time.

      Or so I hear.

    • Count Rackula

      That road goes both ways, Shadow.

      *Sigh*….

    • guillotinegirl

      And now that he's in jail, he has even more options for sex. He might as well take advantage of the situation since I'm pretty sure wifey won't be putting out for awhile after learning about these charges.

    • The_Shadow_Knows

      No doubt.

    • KAOS

      When I got married is when I stoppd having sex, been married 4 times, it has always been that way. Then again, maybe it's just me

    • Annabelle Lee

      No kidding…

    • Breadstix

      hmm..glad i'm not the only one.

    • Tundratot

      It's just you, KAOS.

    • Omalley

      Did you watch the vid? Another woman came forward and accused him of chasing her down a trail with his pants down, masturbating. Pretty nimble guy.

      His eyes were shifting around a lot when he was talking to that reporter. I don't think I believe him. Plus, he says the mugshot & police artist sketch don't look that much alike – I think they do look alike.

    • AMGallagher

      Nope, not the only one ;(

    • AMGallagher

      I don't know…can he do it without the tent?

    • malq

      We are getting off topic, lets get back to the housewife confessions in the beginning of this thread:P

    • Jgo555

      Hate it when guys think it's ok to call their wives OL'LADY… My husband is under a very serious threat of calling me his OLD LADY will result in his penis functioning like an OLD MAN'S by reasons of his wife making it malfunction for the rest of his life.

    • http://www.facebook.com/lancz Laura Lancz

      Anyone else notice he spoke in double negatives? I did not masturbate in front of nobody– So he did masturbate in front of somebody then!

    • Sugarglider1

      Hahaha–one of many grammar rules the idiot doesn't know. If you told him that he'd be all, “Do what now?” Hehe

    • http://www.facebook.com/lancz Laura Lancz

      Ah, one of the many reasons I can't stand human beings!

      It might just be his subconscious owning up to “adjusting the antenna”, but thats assuming he has enough brain for that! :D

    • eliz1bef

      It's like you know my life…