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Hallandale Beach, FL – According to police, that’s what Matthew Magnus wants to know. And after viewing his Myspace pics, I’m thinking he is in no position to show us. Matter of fact, I clicked over there thinking “huge peener!” but came away thinking “ginormous douche!” Magnus was arrested Saturday after police said he exposed himself multiple times to both adults and juveniles, asking his victims: Have you ever seen the biggest penis in the world?” According to the arrest report, Magnus approached one group of kids and posed the peener question before yanking his pants down. Not surprisingly, the kids scrambled. Undaunted, Magnus approached another group of kids with the same question – they bolted before he was able to get his noodle out of his pants. All of the kids were under 16 and all were able to identify Magnus in a photo line-up. A couple of cops got an eyeful of the douche’s manhood, too. When they went to arrest him at his apartment, he was butt-nekkid and surrounded by dog shit, piss and trash. A search of his apartment also turned up a couple baggies of cocaine. He was promptly arrested and charged with lewd and lascivious conduct, two counts of exposure of sexual organs, child molestation and possession of cocaine. Bail has been set at $26,000.

Matthew Magnus

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  • petepuma

    I didn't realize that “exposure of sexual organs” was a crime…guess I need to stop sticking mine out the cat door in the winter time.

  • petepuma

    I didn't realize that “exposure of sexual organs” was a crime…guess I need to stop sticking mine out the cat door in the winter time.

  • Su Do Nim

    He may be right though – he seems like one huge dick – maybe he IS the biggest in the world? But his pecker? I highly doubt it, lol.

  • Parrot Toes (kathybird)

    “Have you ever seen the biggest penis in the world?”

    Yes, I dated him once. If anyone ever meets a guy named Dan K****, he IS the biggest penis ever! This guys probably just mediocre compared to him.

  • guillotinegirl

    “Have you ever seen the biggest penis in the world?”

    Yes and let me tell you I was damn disappointed to learn every 12″ was equal to the length of my thumb.

  • Wildheart

    Hey Morbid…..dude's trying to steal your best pick-up line!

  • cplpunishment

    Why is 80% of the Fuktards we read about from Fl? Damn, Is it because of in the 70's and 80's it was considered the retirement capital of the world so all the Rich Fuktard Douches moved there and had spawn and we are overwhelmed with the supidity thereof?

  • aka jas

    Could you imagine if I walked around and was all “HEY!!!! Wanna see the biggest vag in the world?!? Too bad!” And lifted my skirt!

    ROFFL—you have to excuse me I jus t got a promotion.

  • aka jas

    Ahw shit!!! I crack myself up!

  • DogBitez

    I've never seen so many words on one arm (or maybe it's just that the letters are so oversized)… it's like a friggin' essay, not a tattoo.

  • MAD

    My boss is the biggest vag, sorry to tell ya! 🙂

  • NoWhining

    He spelled his mother's middle name wrong on the tattoo! LMAO! What a complete moron!! hahahaha

  • Meme

    He's full of shit too. Jonah Falcon has the world's biggest penis.

  • pheret

    i saw a semi-erect draft horse at a county fair once. a 10-year old boy & i were in awe. guess this guy is hung like a clydesdale? 😀

  • people like him give us Floridians a bad name

  • aka Mr.Darcy, MrDarcy

    Did anybody look at the captions under his lame ass photos? He IS a douche AND the world's biggest penis.

  • aka Mr.Darcy, MrDarcy

    Bwahahaha! The caption under one of the photos of the tattoo for his Mom says “Talk about pain…” He thought the tattoo hurt!?!? WUSSY!

  • mominAZ

    As someone who grew up in rural Central Fl, I can say that it is truly a fucked up place!!!

  • mominAZ

    ROFLMAO!! That's funny!!

  • Abroad

    Appropriate last name, if it really is that big…….

  • Kwumey

    I think he meant to say biggest PUSSY in the world wearin a bunched up big boy diaper , shaven legs, and girlie flip flops: