Bartender? I’ll Have A Shot Of Food Coloring With A Vanilla Extract Chaser, Please

July 9, 2010 at 7:56 am by Jaded  

Dubuque, IA – So the other day, I posted a story about a woman who got all fuggered up on vanilla extract. To be honest with you, I found it odd at the time and didn’t think I’d ever come across a similar story. But, as luck would have it, I have! Bryce Hinkel has one-upped her, though. The dude is accused of trying to run down the ex-fiance of his baby’s mother after getting plastered on vodka, vanilla extract and…wait for it…food coloring. W.T.F? Have these people never heard of Night Train? Damn. According to authorities, police received a report of a motorist trying to run down a pedestrian in an apartment complex parking lot. When they arrived on scene, they found one man sitting in a car that was parked at an odd angle in the middle of the parking lot and another guy holding a stick in his hands. When officers made contact with dude in the car, they noted that he smelled of alcohol and his teeth, lips and tongue were an odd greenish-bluish color. Hinkel later told officers the coloring was from the food coloring he had chugged because of it’s alcohol content. What, exactly, was Hinkel doing in the parking lot and who the hell was the dude with the stick?

Police interviewed Hinkel’s baby momma at the scene, and she informed them that Hinkel threatened to “take out” her ex-fiance. She also informed officers of Hinkel’s strange drinking habits. And the dude with the stick is presumably Hinkel’s target – the ex-fiance. He told officers that a man approached him and asked where his son was. When the intended victim made it clear his son wasn’t in the vicinity, Hinkel threw the car into reverse, backed it to the edge of the parking lot, slammed it into drive and headed straight for the guy. The man was able to find cover behind another vehicle and was uninjured. Nonplussed, Hinkel backed up again and gave it another go, but ended up slamming his car into the building. Officers noted that at least two other vehicles in the parking lot were damaged. Hinkel, 28, was taken to a hospital for a blood-alcohol test when he was arrested. The results of that test haven’t been released. He has since been booked on charges of attempted first-degree intentional homicide and DUI – his fourth offense in five years. Bond has been set at $100,000.

Bryce Hinkel

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