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Upper Darby, PA - His name is Gerald Kelly. He is a 60-year-old, 6′ 2″, 200lb crossing guard at Drexel Hill Middle School. Since last October, he has been taunted by some smart-ass 14-year-old kid. According to police, the lippy teen repeatedly called Kelly “fatso” and “fat man.” (Something tells me this is the kind of kid who sits in the back of the school bus and flips ya off before he yanks his pants down and smooshes his ass up against the window). Kelly tolerated the verbal abuse throughout the school year, but when he walked out of the pharmacy last week and spotted the mouthy teen, he lost his cool. The kid may or may not have started running his mouth again – no one knows for sure. Regardless, the teen got his ass handed to him by one very agitated crossing guard. In front of several adult witnesses, Kelly allegedly kicked the kid, knocking him to the ground, and placed one man-sized foot on the kid’s chest and throat.

The teen did not require hospitalization, just had a little goose-egg on the back of his head from when he hit the sidewalk and I’m guessing a shit-stain or two in his Underoos. Kelly was charged with simple assault and harassment and the kid may have come away from the incident with a little respect for his elders. If you check out the 100+ comments over at philly.com, you will find that most are in favor of Kelly. And quite a few are rather dismayed that Kelly’s criminal background was brought up. Seems he was in a few scrapes back in the 70′s with arrests that include assault, possession of a firearm and possession of an instrument of a crime. Though he did serve time in jail for theft, most of the other cases against him were dismissed.

Please note: The crossing guard in the picture is not Gerald Kelly.

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Comments


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  • malq

    LOL I have to admit the little bastards are testy now that they know they laws are protecting them.
    We had respect for our crossing guard. She was a 250lb bulldyke that would reduce you to peanut butter. That pretty much reduced us to hiding in the woods and nailing her with bb guns,

    FP is looking good!

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Jaded

    Damn, malq!! Where the hell you been?

  • Parrot Toes (kathybird)

    Ha! Good on him! These kids these days are so fucking disrespectful and obnoxious and they know that they can get away with it. Fuck, the kid only got a little goose egg, he'll survive. How much do ya wanna bet the parents are gonna sue though?…..

    If that 14 year old were my kid, I'd march his ass up to Kelly and make him apologize to him as well.

  • malq

    I am not sure, but I took a monster internet break overall. I was getting grouchy. when you parents put you on ignore its a clue, just in case you ever get there. Nice to see ya Jaded. I can't believe all the cool things you guys have done to the site. I am suprised.

  • Jury

    I'm surprised he waited so long to kick butt.

  • cplkevindheglar

    “I’m guessing a shit-stain or two in his Underoos” 2 funny Jaded. Malq is right the FP is awesome today. Good Job! Hey reminds me my first true love had on wonder woman underroos when I was like 12 she was 13. 2 young huh?

  • WriterOnFire

    I wonder if the guard had reported the behavior to the school or not?? Assuming he had & nothing was done & considering the kid didn't have to be hospitalized for his injuries, I say the kid deserved it. I hope he learned a lesson & that his parents see the light.

  • XenMojo

    I truly enjoyed this comment by TomTheCork: “Losing one's control…unacceptable. Violence towards another…inexcusable. The look on that young punk's face when he realized there are consequences to his actions…Priceless!!!”

  • Peridot2000

    I live 15 minutes away from Upper Darby , we call it Upper Dumpy. It's one of the nearest neighborhoods to West Philly and it's streets are as hard and grimmy as center city Philly. Kids grow up on the streets with little supervision from their absentee parents . No excuses but those streets can't raise much of a citizen ans I appluad the gentleman for holding off as long as he did.

  • Guest420

    Great life lessons these punks can't learn from a textbook.

  • Wildheart

    Well said Tom, well said! And I also have to agree with Parrot Toes that if he were my kid he'd be apologizing to the guy and maybe mowing his lawn for the summer.

  • guillotinegirl

    Team Kelly! Reading about a well-deserved beatdown always brightens my day.

  • Weepoppet

    Go Grandpa!!!!

  • Ella

    You go Grandpa!

  • http://www.facebook.com/dre.mosley Dre Mosley

    I don't feel any guilt. . . .APPLAUDING the Crossing Guard. That's the problem with today's youth discipline is practically non-existent, so they think they can do whatever the hell they want without consequence.

  • Old Skool Mom

    Things have definitely changed since I was a kid! Back in the day, you'd get a beating from the adult you disrespected…then they'd take you home and you'd another beat down from your parents…(after you apologized, of course). Go Mr. Kelly!

  • Nottellen

    Good, tired of punk ass brats w/ no parents to teach them how to act.. I have 3 kids and if they ever act this way in public…I can't imagine how humiliated I would be.

  • Clprime1

    This might be the best story I have ever read :)

  • Jgo555

    What's pissin' me off is that the kid's gonna see him again & then taunt him even more & depending on who his parents are & what they did (which will probably be suing the guard) he'll just think he's even more at a right to taunt the man without having learned his lesson.

  • WryBread

    Upper Darby is a tough town. I used to live nearby. What's up with kids? I liked our crossing guards and wanted them to like me. They were nice people who kept us safe. I wish the guard in this story had had time to castrate that little piece of crap and prevent him from spawning more like him. I'll never understand why God or nature makes such useless human-shaped voids and then fills them full of sperm.

  • AliceinChainsman =]

    yeah front page Sw isn’t too bad.. or Excite pro.